Posts tagged "girl on girl"

Girl On Girl: Is Being Gay A Choice?

There is one central question underlying every debate about homosexuality going on in our country today: Is being gay a choice or is it innate? Is there a gay gene? Was I born a lesbian? These are things I think about all the time, but have shielded away from addressing. Why? Because my…
By: Nikki Dowling / July 22, 2010

Girl On Girl: Why It Sucks To Have A Gay Crush On A Friend

Before I was in a relationship, I crushed on my female friends with alarming frequency. In high school, I got turned on when I slept in the same bed with my best friend who I had known since I was 2 years old. Obviously, I never told her this and, since we don't speak anymore,…
By: Nikki Dowling / July 8, 2010

Girl On Girl: In Defense Of Lesbian Bars

It took me months to convince my girlfriend to go to a lesbian bar with me, and only five minutes to ensure she'd never go again. In her mind, there was no point because she thinks gay bars are only for hooking up and meeting people. I would always staunchly disagree. I told her, "We…
By: Nikki Dowling / June 24, 2010

Girl On Girl: I Don’t Get The Same-Sex Celebrity Kissing Thing

Over the past few weeks, there have been numerous celebrity girl-on-girl kisses that were very, very public and got a lot of attention. Miley Cyrus got up close and personal with three different women during three different performances in June alone. And during the MTV Movie Awards, Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johansso…
By: Nikki Dowling / June 10, 2010

Girl On Girl: The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Repeal Has A Long Way To Go

Last week, the House voted 229 to 186 to repeal the controversial "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" military policy, which essentially bans gays and lesbians from coming out while in the armed services. I appreciate this gesture from the House but, to be honest, I'm not really impressed. While this vote gives the illusion of…
By: Nikki Dowling / June 3, 2010

Girl On Girl: There Is No Gay Community

First it was gay and lesbian, then it was gay, lesbian and bisexual. Then someone threw transgender in the mix. Somewhere along the line, it became OK to refer to gays as queers and now, they’ve decided it’s LGBTQIA. That’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex and allies. The “gay community” today includes everyone who…
By: Nikki Dowling / May 20, 2010

Girl On Girl: Should I Care If My Sexuality Embarrasses Friends And Family?

Last weekend, my girlfriend and I went to a pub full of guys shooting pool and drinking beer. We were there to see her friend, Mike, a DJ. He's got a weekly gig at this place and, as he doesn't seem to get too many of them, it's pretty important that he keep it. I…
By: Nikki Dowling / May 6, 2010

Girl On Girl: My Girlfriend’s Family Is Homophobic

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend's father told her the family is taking a vacation to Maryland this summer. Her immediate response was, "I'm not going." Desperate to get his very un-family-oriented daughter to participate, he quickly added, "Your girlfriend can come." She mentioned this to me on the phone later and, naturally, I wa…
By: Nikki Dowling / April 22, 2010

Girl On Girl: Have I Become A Stereotypical “Angry Lesbian”?

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were in a pizza place and a group of big, drunk guys wearing sports jerseys and smelling of beer walked in. We were just leaving and as my girlfriend stood up, I looked at her and thought, "Wow, I'm so lucky to be dating her." I couldn't…
By: Nikki Dowling / April 8, 2010

Girl On Girl: 7 Hot Travel Destinations That Are Not Cool With The LGBT Crowd

Spring may have sprung last week, but here in New York City, things are still not heating up as much as I'd like. I don't know about you but I'm dreaming of sun, sandy beaches and balmy breezes. In order to satiate my thirst for travel, I started doing some vacay research and I wa…
By: Nikki Dowling / March 25, 2010

Girl On Girl: If Only My Parents Had Talked To Me About Sexuality When I Was Little

The first time I questioned my sexuality was when I was 12 years old. My family and I were in Las Vegas for my uncle's wedding. Twelve was an awkward age because I was boob height, meaning not tall enough to look people in the eyes, but short enough so that it seemed everywhere I…
By: Nikki Dowling / March 11, 2010

Girl On Girl: Lesbian Bed Death Is A Big, Fat Myth

A few weeks ago, a man attempted to insult me by telling me I suffer from "lesbian bed death." Rather than get upset, I just laughed. Hard. The dude about whom we are speaking doesn’t know me. He has no idea if I have a girlfriend or how often I get down. I thought about…
By: Nikki Dowling / February 25, 2010

Girl On Girl: Dating Women Makes Me Sympathize With Men

Dear men everywhere, I know in the past we’ve had our fair share of arguments, disagreements and maybe even a few bloody battles. I’ve probably called you all misogynists a few too many times and I know I often say things are easier for you than they are for the ladies. Sorry. I know it…
By: Nikki Dowling / February 11, 2010

Girl On Girl: 6 Secrets Lesbians Don’t Want You To Know

I’ve been thinking about writing this essay for a while, but I’ve been putting it off because I feel like a traitor. Since coming out, I’ve struggled with feeling like an outsider in the gay community. Now, I feel totally secure in identifying as a lesbian and when I’m hanging out with a bunch of…
By: Nikki Dowling / January 29, 2010

Girl On Girl: Gasp! Sexual Orientation Can Change

This month, Details totally lost me as a reader with an article called “The Lure of Dating an Ex-Lesbian.” The author, Ian Daly, talks about women who date women and then hitch up with men. He eloquently calls these gals “refugees from the isle of Lesbos ... hasbians.” Interestingly, Daly’s research seems to…
By: Nikki Dowling / January 14, 2010

Girl On Girl: No One Believes Me When I Tell Them I’m A Lesbian

The other night my girlfriend and I were lying in bed and she said, “You know, sometimes I forget you’re gay. I mean, you just look so straight.” “Crap,” I thought, “her too.” Then I rolled over so my back was to her and attempted to compose myself, to figure out how to explain, for…
By: Nikki Dowling / December 28, 2009

Girl On Girl: Coming Out During The Holidays

Me and the holidays—we don’t really get along. During Christmas, New Year's and Hanukkah (yeah, I celebrate that, too), I eat too much, drink too much and become way too poor from buying everyone presents and taking time off work. Then there’s the family. I’m really tight with my parents, grandmother and sister. But that’…
By: Nikki Dowling / December 18, 2009

Girl On Girl: 11 Misconceptions About Lesbians

There are a lot of misconceptions about lesbians. I'm confronted with them daily and, frankly, hearing this stuff is like getting smacked in the face with a wet rag. Usually, when someone fires off a stereotype, I am so shocked that I just stand there, staring, opening and closing my mouth like a big, dum…
By: Nikki Dowling / December 4, 2009

Girl On Girl: Being Gay In A Major Metropolis Isn’t A Walk In The Park

There's this stereotype that if you are gay, the answer to all your problems is skipping off to a big city where you can live an open and free life in an accepting environment. The sentiment isn’t always worded this blatantly, but it’s out there. Usually, when people find out I’m a lesbian they…
By: Nikki Dowling / November 19, 2009

Girl On Girl: Why Gay Marriage Matters To Me

I am currently seeing this really great girl. She’s smart, sweet and really fun to be around. We agree on a lot of things. We both hate the death penalty, love pizza and enjoy hanging out—sometimes illegally—on rooftops overlooking New York City. There is one thing, however, that we just can’t see eye-to-eye on. It’…
By: Nikki Dowling / November 6, 2009