I was never that woman who dreamt of having many children or starting my own “Brady Bunch.” Babies, little booties, and bottles were always an afterthought to enjoying a successful career, one peppered with travelling the world and enjoying a range of other adult activities a childless, flexible lifestyle could provide. However, after my husband Jason was diagnosed with leukemia and underwent a bone marrow transplant (which I wrote about here), it would be an understatement to say that my priorities and narrow definition of family underwent a fundamental revolution. One year post-cancer, I began to dwell on the thought of living and dying without a family of my own.
Cancer had forced mortality to become an issue that often occupied my thoughts during sleepless nights or long car rides, and in my worst nightmare, I became the modern antagonist of some sort of widowed cat lady fairy tale. I imagined myself an old hag with cracked skin in a big castle, hoarding treasure and cackling wildly all by myself, full of bitterness and regret over my own solitude. The adult lifestyle that once felt so plush suddenly transformed into a thorny horror story, and Jason and I decided to try IVF. Keep reading »
In England, a 25-year-old woman has been dubbed “The Sperm Hunter.”
What sex acts did she undertake to score this nickname?
Read more … Keep reading »
I was sickeningly shocked when I heard about Michele Kalina, the Pennsylvania woman who killed four of her newborn babies after getting pregnant as a result of a series of extramarital affairs.
But the question on everyone’s lips seems to be: How did she manage to hide all of those pregnancies?! Even from the people closest to her? Wouldn’t her husband — or her daughter — notice as her stomach grew and grew? How in the world, they keep asking, does a woman hide a pregnancy?
While the outcome of my story isn’t nearly as horrific, I personally know how and why you can: Twelve years ago, I was that woman. Read more … Keep reading »
Shirley Sirivong’s pregnancy has been a challenging one. She has gestational diabetes, complete placentia previa, and an incompetent cervix. To help her get through the rest of her pregnancy, doctors directed her to bed rest and a special diet. To start, the breakfasts were a tad dull: wheat bread, egg whites, fruits, and vegetables. So her husband Gat created fanciful food scenes to lift his wife’s mood. “After a few days of that,” Shirley told Parenting.com, “they started to become more elaborate scenes.” Of this one, she said, “I’m going to guess that I’m the egg on the right, since the legs are crossed :) Some day, I’m going to miss these little moments.” [Parenting.com] Keep reading »
Among some photos from a trip to New York I took a few years ago is a shot of me in the middle of a department store, holding a beautiful 3-month-old baby girl. I look like a proud mom on a much-deserved shopping trip. But Lila isn’t my little girl. She’s my sister’s. And, at the time, I was actually distraught because I knew, sooner or later, that I had to choose between keeping the man I loved and having a baby of my own.
I met Jamie* in 2001. He was 36 and I was 33, living in a loft apartment just down the hall from his graphic design studio. The first time I saw him in the corridor I thought my knees were going to buckle under me — he was absolutely gorgeous. One night I arrived home just as he was locking up and we started talking. A few days later, he came over for dinner. Two months on, we both said “I love you.” For the first time in my life, I’d met someone I wanted to be with forever. Read more … Keep reading »
This video? It blew my mind. So to speak! Seriously, though. Three women — Carey Goldberg, Beth Jones, and Pamela Ferdinand — find themselves “of a certain age,” childless, and partner-less. Finally, one decides she’s tired of waiting around for Mr. Right. So, she orders herself some sperm from the sperm bank. Right when the order shows up, BAM, she meets a guy and gets pregnant. But then her friend is partner-less and childless. So, the first woman decides to give the second woman her sperm. Before the second woman can use it, BAM, she meets a guy and gets pregnant. But then there’s their third friend, who’s partner-less and childless. So, the second woman gives the third woman the sperm, and — well, you can probably guess the rest. So many happy endings, they wrote a book about it: Three Wishes: A True Story of Good Friends, Crushing Heartbreak, and Astonishing Luck on Our Way to Love and Motherhood. Who’s the dude with the super-sperm? Inquiring minds want to know. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
The ink was barely dry on our marriage certificate when my husband and I found out we were going to be parents — actually, I found out the good news the first day back from our honeymoon.
Sure, some of the signs and symptoms of pregnancy were already there, but I honestly chalked everything up to pre-wedding stress. It was only when I finally had a chance to slow down in South Beach that I realized something didn’t feel right.
When my new husband leaned in for a kiss one night, with whiskey and Vidalia onion chips breath, I was disgusted: “I swear, if you don’t get away from me with that breath right now I’m going to barf on your face,” is what I told him. And, to be clear, I usually love whiskey. That’s when I realized something was up. Read more … Keep reading »
Xeni Jardin at Boing Boing points us to this hilarious Yahoo! Answers question: “Can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant?” WOW. Sometimes, people boggle my mind. But, hey, what is the answer? Inquiring minds want to know: If you’re a woman, and you have a girl baby inside of you, and then you, you know, “do it,” can the baby inside of you get pregnant, like, too? Make sure you know the answer before things go horribly, terribly wrong. [Boing Boing] Keep reading »
I’ve got a beautiful little boy who turns 6 next week. I got him through rather unconventional means. Well actually, the means were fairly conventional — sex in a traditional position, if memory serves — but entirely accidental.
I had a one-night stand when I was 39, with a guy I’d met at a bar. Not my most ladylike act, and certainly not sensible, but I had been suffering from a case of prolonged unintentional celibacy, and the guy was just adorable.
No, I don’t have any diseases, but thanks for your concern, which I’m sure will be expressed in the comments. I know it wasn’t smart. What I didn’t know was that my ancient ovaries were functioning better than I ever would have dreamed. When you’re 39, you sort of assume pregnancy will involve a trip to the fertility doctor.
Instead, I got pregnant. Read more … Keep reading »