Jane Fearnley-Whittingstall has been married to her husband, Rob, for 47 happy years. In a world where half of all marriages end in divorce, she thinks she has a few secrets to making a relationship survive the inevitable bumps in a road. After the jump, check out a few of those secrets, which she shared in today’s Daily Mail.

I love my husband. He’s a fantastic gent who makes swoon-worthy stuffed french toast, fixes my bicycle when it breaks down, and plus he loves me and stuff. But, when there’s a new tech update, I shudder. It’s a reflex. If only Steve Jobs could see what he did to me last night at the bar ...

Since I already posted an epic save-the-date video today, I thought it fitting to share an epic marriage proposal story to carry on the theme. Actually, this happens to be two stories in one. The guy, you see, a professional illustrator, spent eight months searching for the perfect engagement ring (a “100 year old brass ring with an art nouveau design carved into a piece of red coral”), and then proposed to his girlfriend by writing and illustrating a “magical little story for her that revolved around a story of the ring.” He created 22 drawings, secretly working on them for two weeks, and pasted them into a large antique book in which he was able to actually hide the engagement ring in a secret flap. On New Year’s Day, he presented the book to his girlfriend.

If their save-the-date announcement is any indication, the wedding of Jeff Wong and Erin Martin is going to be epic. It may even quite literally bring the house down. No, I don’t know these people, but their announcement is making the rounds on the internet if only to make those of us who sent uninspired email save-the-dates for our weddings feel bad about ourselves. Jeff and Erin have a website where they explain that no, the video was not done professionally (except, apparently, the voice-over), nor on a big budget. It took a little research, a lot of creativity, and some help from their friends. You can read all about how they made the video, as well as their ten-year love story here. Mazel tov, you guys! [via BuzzFfeed and Boing Boing]

Cathy Torkelson, 34, had a good job as a legal consultant, a loving boyfriend and supportive friends and family. She was a good girlfriend in what appeared to be a solid year-and-a-half-long relationship. Yet, internally, Cathy was anxious, irritable, moody and unable to concentrate. The cause? A persistent question: why hasn’t he proposed?

Torkelson’s questioning became “all-consuming,” and eventually turned a normally independent, rational woman into a nervous wreck.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years now, and have lived together for a year and a half. We have a very solid and fulfilling relationship. We also bought a house together a little while ago. Everything is great except for one issue: marriage. I feel as if I have given everything I can into our relationship, mentally, physically and emotionally. And now I feel as though I need a commitment to go further. He says that he knows he wants to marry me, has promised, but is not ready. We live as if we are married so I don’t know how he can’t be ready. He says he doesn’t feel an urgency to get married, but I do. I worry that “not ready” means “not with you” although he swears it doesn’t. We’re at a stand-still with this issue and I’m not really sure where to go from here. — Ready For Marriage

This Sunday marks six months since I got hitched, and I hope this doesn’t sound all braggy, but man, these last few months have been good ones. I love being married! Even more than I thought I would. That’s not to say I didn’t imagine it would be great; I just wasn’t expecting it to be so much better than simply living together, like we had been for a year and half before we tied the knot. For us, there’s a deeper commitment now, a stability that wasn’t quite as acute before; we’re closer, we’re family now. But with all that comes added pressure and expectations. And nowhere is that more apparent for me than our sex life.

It is now an entrenched cultural truth: A desirable woman in her 30s could meet someone, date for a while, enter a relationship, spend Thanksgiving at her boyfriend’s parents’ house, rent an apartment together, adopt a pet, wash his skivvies for years and still: Long-term commitment is not guaranteed.

Don’t you hate it when you read something written by someone you’ve never met, yet it sounds like they are writing about YOU? I’m sure I’m not the only woman who had that weird feeling of being watched when reading Irina Aleksander’s article in The New York Observer entitled “Want a Husband? Try a Eur-Male Pass.” After all, there’s no way I’m the only 30-year-old who met a man, dated him for 4.5 years, spent countless holidays with his family, lived with him, adopted a dog with him, and did his laundry before being unceremoniously dumped (for someone younger and probably more willing to have anal sex).

So did the real crux of Aleksander’s piece—that more and more American women are moving abroad to find Mr. Right—speak to me too?

This is all kinds of hilarious: Comedian Giulia Rozzi reenacts posts from brides-to-be on a wedding message board where they’re talking about engagement ring size. It’s kind of long, but worth watching till the end—or at least until the woman who takes belly-dancing classes appears. [The Message Board]

We took down the Christmas tree this week, along with all our holiday stuff (a penguin with a Christmas hat, a reindeer doing a split), which means the holidays are officially over.

The visit with the FIL (future in-laws) over Christmas went well for the most part, if you discount the fact that Future Husband and I both ended up in the Urgent Care center. Before we left for Ohio, FH had a 102 temperature. It was better the next day so we decided to make the drive up there, but he just never felt 100%. Then I came down with a tonsil infection … before you knew it, we were being seen by a tiny Indian doctor who thankfully prescribed us some antibiotics.

I’m excited to be spending the holidays with my husband in our own apartment this year, but I’m nervous as well. Some things are familiar: we have the menorah next to the Christmas tree because of our jumbled-up religious backgrounds. Though, while the scent of pine needles and frying latkes are appropriately nostalgic, everything else will be new.

Let me preface this post by giving you some stats:

I’m 31. My Future Husband (FH) is 34. I was raised Jewish … but not really (meaning, I never went to temple). My FH was raised Catholic … but not really (meaning, he never went to church).

Now that I’ve shared, I can continue my story …

I have been dating my boyfriend for about three months. We get along great and he would do anything for me. We just have one problem. He doesn’t believe in evolution and I very passionately do. We got in a discussion about it which quickly turned into a huge fight. Although my current career has taken me down a different path, I have my masters degree in biology concentrated in ecology and evolution so I know a little something about it and pretty much dedicated my entire education to learning about it. He is an engineer and very smart, but I just found out that he used to be really religious, hence his disbelief in evolution. I tried to answer his many misconceptions about evolution as best I could without being prepared for such a heavy debate, but he persisted in refusing to listen to the evidence I presented and even compared me to a religious zealot who has been brainwashed by my schooling. I know that when I feel passionately about something I can get quite worked up and come across as condescending. I understand that a lot of couples have different beliefs and make it work so I know that we can too. However, I don’t want us to have restrictions on what we can or can’t discuss in a rational manner. So I guess what I am asking is how do I broach this topic in a manner that doesn’t turn into a huge argument? Should I just accept that we may never agree on the topic and try to get over it? — The “Mad” Scientist

If you have a wedding video, I am sure it is very lovely, beautiful, and romantic, but, my God, this is a wedding video for the ages. I’m not really up on all things wedding video-related, but I kind of thought they were boring, hand-held affairs that the newly married forced their unmarried friends to watch as some kind of passive-aggressive punishment. The wedding video of model/actress Roselyn Sanchez and model/actor Eric Winter is another story altogether. Held at a historic fort in San Juan, Puerto Rico, it is probably one of the most glamorous and romantic weddings I’ve ever seen, and the video is a really sweet and gorgeous homage to the couple, their union, and their guests. I’m verklempt, people! [The Red Sole Bride]

Before my wedding this past July, I did a lot of cliché things that many other brides-to-be all over the world do. I fretted over the guest list, stressed over what to wear and how to do my hair, and worried endlessly over correct etiquette. One thing I didn’t get too worked up about was losing weight. It’s not that it wasn’t on my mind — getting fit was certainly something I thought about — I just honestly didn’t do much to get there. I’ve always been a stress eater and planning a wedding sent me running for all the comfort food (and booze) I could find. It wasn’t until a few weeks before the wedding when I worried I might not be able to squeeze into my dress that I joined a yoga studio and hit the mat about four times a week. Luckily, with the help of those last-minute workouts and a special Spanx-like undergarment, everything worked out. Since then, though, I’ve relaxed back into my unhealthy habits and started “letting myself go.” Apparently, I continue to be a cliché even after the wedding.

Recently, a wonderful, terrific, incredible thing in my life happened, but I’m still having a little trouble embracing the good news. Two weeks ago, my husband of four months dipped into his life savings and paid off the remainder of my student loans. This was no small feat, of course; the amount left on my loans for graduate school were big — enough to finance a luxury car, or an extended trip around the world, or serve as a down payment for a small New York apartment. Instead, Drew, my husband, used the money to pay off a debt I’d accrued before I even met him, a debt I lost plenty of sleep over wondering how I’d ever crawl out of. That, in the end, I had this modern-day version of a knight-in-shining armor come rescue me, the damsel in distress, is something that’s stirred a complicated mix of emotions in me, most prominent among them gratitude, but certainly a large dose of guilt and shame as well.

So … we spent the Thanksgiving holiday down in Florida with my folks, which meant Future Husband got a big “welcome to the family” glimpse of how the holidays with MY family works: lots of kids (there were no less than 8 kids under the age of 8 on T-day), lots of wine, and lots of sports. Minus the kids part, it was basically just like every Sunday at our house. Overall, we had an awesome time, which was great.

When my mom was in town this past weekend, we went to the mall. Not just to go to the Gap, which she had a 40 percent off coupon for (the woman always has a coupon for either the Gap, Banana Republic, or Bed Bath & Beyond), but to go to the bookstore to look for bridal magazines. Before I was engaged, I had to stop myself from buying one of those magazines. I wouldn’t even pick one up, for fear of jinxing myself and never getting married. As someone who is OCD, I’m surprised I didn’t back up four steps and do a circle after looking at them.

I’d never been one of those girls who’d dreamt about her perfect wedding. The virgin-white dress, the exorbitant costs, the fuss over a big, shiny rock—none of it ever appealed to me. I wanted to find a lifelong partner, and a family sounded nice, too, but honestly? I never cared much about that piece of paper. So why did I just marry my boyfriend after pondering it for a mere two hours? One (evidently all-too-common) reason: health insurance.

The Daily Mail is reporting today that black, a color traditionally saved for funerals and looking street chic, is the new color choice for wedding dresses among modern brides. While I don’t doubt that many women are bucking tradition and going with darker colors, I have a hard time believing that black, despite how slimming and elegant it is, is now the “shade of choice,” as the paper insinuates. Then again, they did quote an “expert” from a wedding website that gets all of 2,000 visitors a month (for perspective, The Frisky gets about that many visitors every 25 minutes), so maybe there’s some validity to the claim. The trend is in response to the recession (of course!) and brides’ desire to buy a dress they can wear more than once. I don’t buy it for a second, do you? Would you buy a black gown for that reason? Would you really wear your dress again after your wedding? Doesn’t that kind of make it seem less special? [via Daily Mail]