The majority of both men and women believe that men should be opening their wallets on dates, according to a new study. Most men and women presume that men should pay for most expenses, even after multiple dates, and in fact, a surprising number of guys feel guilty when a woman pays. Keep reading »
“So? What are you having?”
Throughout my pregnancy, that was the number one question I received, tied only with: “How are you feeling?” At first I was polite about it, telling folks that it was too early to tell, but that we weren’t finding out anyway until the birth. After I passed 20 weeks, I attempted to answer all the Nosy Nellies as diplomatically as I could. I said that we would be happy with either a boy or girl, as long as the baby was healthy. Yet as my belly expanded, my patience shrank and I found myself coming up with more creative ways to answer the increasingly frequent queries over “what” we were having. “Fingers crossed it’s not a kitten!” was one of my favorite go-to replies.
And, for those keeping track – no, we did not have a kitten, but rather a beautiful baby boy. Still, the questions kept coming. Since we didn’t know if we were having a boy or girl (and because, you know, colors are for everyone), my son wore a rainbow of onesies, which only seemed to confuse folks. Multiple times a day I would have people question why my son was wearing purple. Or pink. Or even yellow. I did not get the same stares or questions when he donned his blue, green or brown onesies. Our society, one that is heavily entrenched in traditional, stereotypical gender roles, seems to want to plug children into these boxes as quickly as possible — even before they’re born — and that can be both frustrating and confusing. Keep reading »
It’s safe to say that Netflix’s latest original series, “Orange is the New Black,” is nothing short of binge-worthy. I devoured the entire first season in under 96 hours (seriously). Groundbreaking on many levels, the show openly displays queer female sexuality and features a uniquely complex portrayal of a black transgender woman (played by the brilliant black trans actress Laverne Cox). What’s more, the vibrant cast of diverse characters offers viewers a rare exploration of what privilege is and how it works. Nowhere is that more apparent than in the show’s main character, Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling), a perfect lesson in privilege.
I can’t stand Piper. I find her whiny, entitled, possessive, incredibly self-obsessed, an emblem of unchecked privilege. But I actually think that’s intentional; Piper would be the character we all root for, when in reality, she seems to be one of the least liked. As Salamishah Tillet noted over at The Nation, the main character of “Orange” probably had to be white and college-educated for the show (and memoir upon which it’s based) to get picked up, and this is a valid point. But with Piper, we’re also forced to come face to face with her privilege, and we can’t stand what we see. [Spoilers after the jump!] Keep reading »
Anthony Weiner’s communications director calling a former intern a “cunt,” “slutbag” and other slurs is just one aspect of the choppy waters surrounding the sex scandal-ridden NYC mayoral candidate’s sinking campaign. But of all the what-are-they-thinking? Weiner campaign moments in the past few weeks, it is the one that has stood out in my mind. Because when Barbara Morgan, the communications director, went off to a Talking Points Memo reporter about former intern Olivia Nuzzi, who dished secrets about the campaign in the New York Daily News, it wasn’t just Morgan’s overall frustration or unprofessionalism that was questionable. It was how she called another woman “cunt.”
That’s a word that I use myself, quite liberally in fact. Now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t anymore. Keep reading »
As told to Lauren Gitlin.
It was always kind of under the surface, this idea that I wasn’t quite comfortable with my body. I remember looking at this book my parents gave me when I was 8 years old and I saw drawings of what men’s bodies were like and what women’s bodies were like, and how bodies changed through puberty. And I remember identifying more with male bodies, like that was the kind of body I wanted. Keep reading »
The only people I know who own trucks are women. I know two female truck owners, but that’s not that exciting, because I don’t live a Truck Lifestyle. Perhaps Chevy, makers of the Silverado pick-up truck, have realized that they know a lot of female truck drivers, too, because they’ve created this ad (finally!) focused on selling trucks to women. Keep reading »
Four days ago, a royal child entered the world in a hospital wing in London. It didn’t take long for bloggers across the pond to start fighting about it.
Here’s that happened: blogger Heina Dadabhoy, who writes for the feminist-minded secularism/atheism blog Skepchick, pointed out on Twitter how Prince George was neither born a boy nor a girl, but rather assigned a sex at birth based on his perceivable genitals. Keep reading »
Growing up, transgender teenager Katie Hill knew she should have been born a girl, not a boy. At 18, she transitioned from her male body to a female form. Her boyfriend, Arin Andrews, also knew he’d been born in the wrong body — but in his case, he identified as male, not with his female-born body. The two Oklahoma teens met in a transgender support group and fell in love.
That was before they both moved forward in their respective physical transitions. “I hated my breasts, I always felt like they didn’t belong.” Now, “I finally feel comfortable in my own body,” Andrews said after having his breasts removed last month. “Now when I’m out in a public pool or lifting weights, no one raises an eyebrow. They just think I’m a guy. … I can wear a tank top, which I couldn’t before, and I can go swimming shirtless. I can just be a regular guy. And I’m so lucky to have my family and Katie to rely on.” [SDGLN]
Guys, I love sarcasm. It’s a heady, delicious treat I eat up on the hour. But even I have my sarcasm limits. Case in point: Gawker writer Hamiliton Nolan’s response to a piece by xoJane writer s.e. smith about the western appropriation of Eastern religion, specifically in the context of yoga, and whether someone with an atheist viewpoint should really practice yoga. I’m not going to get into that, because I personally hate yoga and can’t understand why people are always freaking out about it. Howevs, it’s how Nolan wrote about s.e.’s piece that’s super irksome.
Throughout the piece, Nolan referred to smith by the pronouns her/she, which is not how s.e. identifies. When the Gawker piece came out, a couple members of the xoJane team wrote in to let Nolan know that s.e.’s preferred pronoun is “ou.” s.e. has written about preferring “ou” before, and even mentions it in ou’s xoJane bio: “s.e. smith is a writer, agitator, and commentator based in Northern California. Ou focuses on social issues, particularly gender, prison reform, disability rights, environmental justice, queerness, class, and the intersections thereof, and has a special interest in rural subjects.” Keep reading »
Boyfriends! When there isn’t a cat or a guinea pig around, they’re always great to dress up in a silly outfit. Or, your own clothes. Photographer Jon Uriarte is has done a portrait series called “The men under the influence…” of men dressed in their wives’ or girlfriends’ clothing inside the couple’s shared living space. The portraits seek to illustrate “the recent change in roles in heterosexual relationships from the relationships of our predecessors and how those changes have affected men in particular.” Uriarte continues, “The photos attempt to capture men’s sense of loss reference, now that women have taken a step forward and have finally come into their own as equal partners.” So I guess sisters are doing it for themselves now? And men aren’t wearing the pants anymore? So he photographed mean wearing women’s clothes? I’m not sure I get it. But hey, gender non-conformity can only be a good thing. So, um, carry on, gentlemen. [Laughing Squid via Jon Uriarte]