Let me tell you a story about “bi invisibility.” A few years ago, at my first full-time job – which, I should clarify, was at an LGBT nonprofit organization – I was chatting with a gay male co-worker about a conversation he had with an acquaintance of ours. Apparently I had come up in their conversation, and he had referred to me as “straight.” As in “heterosexual.” I don’t know where the rest of the story was going, because I stopped my colleague right there.
“Actually,” I interjected, “I’m not straight.”
He seemed genuinely baffled. “You’re not?”
“Well … no. I can see why you thought I was, but I’m not. I’m bisexual.”
His eyes widened and he smiled. It was like a light bulb had gone off in his head and everything suddenly made sense. Meanwhile, I walked back to my cubicle, shocked that, at an LGBT organization, anyone would assume that anyone else was straight. It surprised me that, in a space where identity politics and queer issues were discussed regularly, being in a relationship with a man would automatically signify me as a hetero. I suddenly realized that my identity as a bi woman would always be invisible. I would always be invisible. That is, unless I found a way to combat that invisibility. Keep reading »
The actor Rupert Everett, who is gay, believes children should have a “mother and a father.”
My father, who is also gay, shared the same beliefs. So did my gay mother. So did my gay father-in-law. So, in fact, did the Christopher Plummer character in “Beginners.”
But can it be true that there’s “[nothing] worse than being brought up by two gay dads,” as Rupert said?
Ask my husband, whose father and stepfather fully participated in raising him. Ask my children, who have three of four openly gay grandparents. Keep reading »
“The way I would choose to identify myself wouldn’t be gay. I’ve been attracted mostly to ‘shes’ but I’ve been with many people and I’m open to love wherever it can be found. I think a lot of people are projecting their own troubles and fears concerning sexuality onto those around them, and it does result in the perpetuation of a lot of hateful notions. As long as I can remember, I’ve felt really horrified watching those dynamics play out. It really hurts and divides us all, and in the end, so much of the human experience is shared, so we only end up hating and fearing our own damn selves.”
– Every time I read an interview with “The Perks Of Being A Wallflower” star Ezra Miller, I think to myself, Thank God I didn’t meet you when I was 16 because I would be So. Far. Gone. [The Daily Beast]
“One of the defining conversations that I had with myself was that absolutely no good can come from me staying quiet about [my sexuality]. Literally, no good can come from it. But if I take the step to make the acknowledgment and be honest, so much good could potentially come from it. … It boggles my mind that there are so many extreme, Christian organizations that are adopting a stance against homosexuality with such vitriol and hatred and targeted aggression that goes against the tenets of the Christian faith. The hatred that people are leading with in this discussion is really, for me, the biggest symptom of how sick we are. It’s the thing that makes me look at our culture and think, ’We are so far afield of any sort of connectivity or truth in relationship to one another.’
– Zachary Quinto from “American Horror Story” (or the nerds amongst us, “Star Trek”) tells Out magazine about why he chose to come out of the closet last year in New York magazine and why he’s been campaigning for Obama 2012 on LGBT rights. The vitriol, hatred and aggression against lesbians and gays boggles my mind, too, Zach. Now forget about your boyfriend Jonathan Groff and come make out with meeeeeee. [Out]