For those of us who have a gay boyfriend in our lives, we know how to gross them out in five seconds flat. I have a list of words that I know I can say to mine that will make him squirm and run around the room, screaming like a school girl—vagina, p**sy, c**t, clit, moist. My favorite line of questioning with my gay boyfriend is about the one time in college that he had drunken sex with a girl before he was out. Each time I press him for details he says things like, “I don’t really remember,” or “I only put it in there for a second,” or “Ewwwwwwww!” His experience of straight sex is not unlike Adam Lambert’s recent account in Out magazine. When asked about performing oral sex on a woman, he gave this eloquent description of the experience:

“It was a little gross because I don’t think she was as clean as she could’ve been. It wasn’t the act of it that really turned me off. I don’t really remember. I was 18 and I was drunk.”

Maybe it’s discriminatory to say, but there’s really nothing hotter than two guys making out. And last night marked the first glimpse into Chuck Bass‘s blooming bisexuality on “Gossip Girl”, which was brief but oh so beautiful. There have been shockingly few gay kisses on television, but we’ve rounded up the ones that made history.

So ... when Hollywood starlets want to be provocative, they lez out in photoshoots. And apparently, when gay men want to be provocative they tongue female models? Color us confused by this Details cover shoot featuring “American Idol” runner-up, Adam Lambert. Lambert is an out-and-proud gay man, but tells the mag, “...I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn’t mean I’m necessarily sleeping with them.” Personally, I wouldn’t have minded a shot or two of Glambert frenching his hot boyfriend, but then again, I sometimes like gay dude porn. So what do you think of this racy shoot? Sexy or cheap? Check out one more shot, after the jump. [Details]

“I’ve never even kissed a woman,” Adam said. One of my best friends on the planet, Adam was unequivocally gay—the kind of caricature personality who lisped, wore pink, plucked his eyebrows, flicked his wrists, and decorated his apartment in rainbows. He was my first call when a guy I was dating was being a jerk, the one who was always up for an impromptu shopping mission or who’d dance with me until the wee hours of the night at an ‘80s club. Technically, he was everything I’d want in a boyfriend: smart, funny, kind and gorgeous—too gorgeous to be straight, as the saying goes. But since he was gay, I barely noticed.

But as he said those words, our faces were inches apart and we were locked in that trance-like pull of an inevitable kiss. We were at a party, dancing to New Order. And soon our lips locked and we were full-on making out. As I felt his hands squeeze my butt, I backed up and stared at him. “You’re an amazing kisser,” he said, with a wink.

Next thing I knew, we were back at my place.

Here’s a question: Can gay men sexually harass straight women? We’re aware of three instances in which gay men have felt it appropriate to fondle women without their permission and justified their behavior because they’re homosexual. Dwight Eubanks, the “sixth housewife,” was a major player on last week’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” but one thing I noticed about him was that he feels up every woman he meets. He grabs and jiggles breasts, runs his hands up and down legs and thighs, and inspects faces. (Watch the video above starting at 4:10 for a taste of his inappropriateness.)

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaa-dies! We’ve got a new porno mag out over in England!

But unfortunately, Filament received a sour review from the Daily Mail, which hissed, “Most of the boys pictured are effeminate and not arousing.”

Indeed, we, too, are flabbergasted with Filament‘s idea of what makes women wet. Apparently it’s skinny boy-men with soft features who either outright look like Rufus Wainwright or look like Rufus groupies. The porn mag’s web site explains Filament relied on both published academic research and their own online research to discover what turns women on and they came up with specifics like “men who are not muscle-bound” and “men with more feminine face shapes.”

No thanks! To each her own, we guess.

I’ve tried to get my boyfriends to watch guy-on-guy porn with me. Yhey’re game to watch pseudo-lesbians paw each other, but they draw the line at man love. But there’s a lot a guy could learn about sex by watching two dudes go at it. So, I’ve decided to give guys the cheat sheet on what they could learn from gay porn.

AskMen.com revealed its list of the Top 99 Most Desirable Women of 2009 today. Readers were asked to vote not just on sex appeal and beauty, but also on humor, ambition and intelligence. Kate Winslet is ranked 99. Beyonce is No. 50. And Eva Mendes is numero uno. We’ve decided to build our own list of desirable men based on readers’ votes. So let your voice be heard! Each day we’ll give you a few guys under specific categories and then compile a Top Ten (or more!) based on your votes…so, which of these desirable gay men would you like to turn straight? [Photos: Splash News]

We swear, after Monday, when Catherine and I will have a brief IM about what we thought of the movie, we will not write about this show AGAIN. Or at least for a very, very long time.—Editor