A woman goes through life with a number of labels that she doesn’t have any control over, either by birth or by society’s imposition. But one label she should get to choose is whether she wants to be someone’s “wife” or not. This should be a right for all of us.
A recent piece on Salon.com by soon-to-be-married author Tracy Clark-Flory about the word “wife” really pissed me off. Clark-Flory wrote about going over the language of her wedding ceremony script with her fiancé and getting to the part that says “I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
Husband? Wife? I could barely conceal my gagging sounds. He said something to the effect of, “Ew, gross.”
It makes me feel like Betty Draper, like I should be fetching his slippers and a scotch on the rocks — and remembering to get the roast bird out of the oven. (In reality, I’ve only just recently expanded my cooking repertoire beyond Kraft mac ‘n’ cheese and things you put in the microwave. He, however, will roast a chicken and make a rustic tart from scratch — all in one night.) I am a daughter, partner and friend — but a wife? I can’t help but imagine saying “I’m his wife” with heavy air quotes, a roll of the eyes or exaggerated feminine cheer.
Clark-Flory then expresses concern that the Middle English/Old English terms for “wife” and “husband” translate, roughly, to “vagina” and “householder.” It’s not that I don’t understand Clark-Flory’s discomfort with both words or their histories (although dredging up the Old English definition? really?). But I’m uneasy with how glib she was about that choice when so many people are scrambling to have the same one. Keep reading »
Sandy Rios is both an American Family Association talk show host and a Fox News contributor, so naturally when she spoke with anti-gay Chicago pastor, Erwin Lutzer, some pretty offensive words were exchanged.
The two both oppose same-sex marriage and use the bogus argument that homosexuality is like pedophilia in that even though there is “love” in these relationships, the people involved should not be able to get married. According to Right Wing Watch, Lutzer said, “A pedophile I’m sure says that he loves children — as a matter of fact, he does — but you can see how destructive that love is.” That comparison is nothing new in the anti-gay argument, but Sandy Rios then went on to make a new and uniquely offensive comparison. Keep reading »
Since Proposition 8 was struck down in the Supreme Court, same-sex marriage is once again legal in California. Unfortunately, just because something is legal doesn’t mean that people are suddenly more accepting and open-minded about it.
Ken Bencomo of Rancho Cucamonga taught at St. Lucy’s Priory, an all-girls Catholic school in Glendora, California, and was head of the English department. Bencomo is gay and for 10 of the 17 years he has worked at St. Lucy’s, school officials knew his sexual orientation and had even met his partner. Yet after all this time, Bencomo was fired from his position just days after he married his partner, Christopher Persky, according to The San Bernadino Sun. According to USA Today, the school justified their decision, saying that gay marriage goes against the teachings of the Catholic Church. Officials apparently did not have a problem with Bencomo being gay, they just had a problem with him getting married to the person that he loves. HUH? Keep reading »
John Arthur was diagnosed with terminal Lou Gehrig’s Disease, and is currently in hospice care. He’s been in a loving 20-year relationship with his boyfriend Jim Obergefell, and just weeks ago, he and Arthur flew to Maryland to be legally wed on the tarmac. Arthur is now so sick that he can’t even get up from his hospital bed.
The couple has now returned to Ohio, where they are trying to make the most of their last days together, and have one final wish. Arthur would like Obergefell to be acknowledged on his death certificate as his “surviving spouse.” Why is this so important, besides the obvious unadultered fact that two married people should be acknowledged in the eyes of the law? Because Arthur would like to ensure that Obergefell can someday be buried in his family plot next to him. Thanks to a specific family directive, without this express acknowledgement, a cemetery will not honor the request. Keep reading »