There aren’t enough songs about blowjobs, that’s what I always say. So, for anyone who has never given a blowjob before — be you a straight male, a gay woman, or a member of the Duggar family — here are silly songstresses Garfunkel and Oates to explain exactly what goes through one’s mind during a beej. But I’m warning you: the ending is definitely NSF getting in the mood. [YouTube]
You never forget your first time. For me, it was five years ago. I’d just moved to Los Angeles and wanted to meet new people. I stood in line outside for almost an hour. When the doors finally opened and I settled into my spot, the lights dimmed and “Love Will Keep Us Together” by The Captain & Tennille started playing on the stereo. When the lights came back up, I knew it was show time. I was about to experience Ronna & Beverly live and, after that, I knew nothing would ever be the same again.
If the names Ronna & Beverly, don’t feel bad. That’s why I’m here: To help introduce you to some of the funniest female writing/performing teams this side of the 45th parallel. Some you might recognize from their work on the small screen and others you might know from being scene-stealers on the big screen. Either way, once you discover the comedic genius of these six dynamic duos, everything’s gonna change.
Don’t worry. This won’t hurt a bit. Keep reading »
“The Loophole” is another brilliant piece of musical comedy from Garfunkel & Oates, the duo that brought you “29/31.” This time, they’ve moved on from single bitterness to Christian girls who stay “virgins” until they’re married but have anal sex instead. Otherwise known as “going to fifth base” or having “the sex that God can’t see.” They also refer to touching the clitoris as “ringing Satan’s doorbell,” which just killed me. [Jezebel]
Televangelist Pat Robertson has said some pretty ridonkulous things. But recently, he topped even himself when, during a conversation about a bill protecting gay folks from hate crimes, he said it’s a slippery slope towards protecting “someone who likes to have sex with ducks.” When they heard this quote, Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci, who make up the group Garfunkel and Oates, made this hilarious pro-gay marriage music video, appropriately titled “Sex with Ducks,” celebrating the hypothetical freedom to “quack that swan.” So “put your beak in mine” and watch. Keep reading »