Happy Thanksgiving/Hanukkah, everyone! If you’re like the vast majority of people, then your family is at least a little bit dysfunctional. Why not turn this year’s awkward moments, blowout fights, and tense dinner table debates into a super fun game? Just print out this handy Dysfunctional Family Bingo Card and mark off each square as they happen. First one to fill in a full row or column wins a bottle of bourbon, a tearful night on the sleeper sofa, and 10 years of therapy. Good luck!
Every year families and friends gather together to give thanks and stuff their faces with as much turkey and cornbread as possible without imploding. But after the potatoes have been plopped into Tupperware and the nightcaps are a-flowin’, it’s time to whip out the group-friendly activities. Game time, bitches.
We’ve put together a list of some fun Thanksgiving games to play in groups, along with the hazards that come with each. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Keep reading »
I played a lot of board games growing up, because I was an aggressively unathletic kid who appreciated any socially acceptable excuse to play with toys, and games are essentially toys with rules (this is a phase I have yet to grow out of). And competition is an integral part of most games, so a certain amount of skullduggery among friends is to be expected. However, there are some games, regardless of how fun or awesome they may be, that seem to have been designed for the explicit purpose of ruining friendships. The following board games are virtually guaranteed to leave you and your friends feeling so bitter that the rules might as well read “Stuff corpse shit into an electric toaster and leave it cooking in the center of the table while players take turns screaming racism into each other’s open mouths until both slots pop up and scald everyone’s faces with zombie diarrhea.” Read more on Cracked…
Addicted to the Facebook/smartphone game Candy Crush? Then you’ll relate to this faux trailer for “Candy Crush: The Movie.” Once you play the game long enough, you do start to lose yourself! Candy Crush dependency is no joke, you guys. I’ve been stuck on Level 79 for over a week and it is ruining my ability to function. [via Facebook]
My name is Amelia and I am a Candy Crush Saga addict. After months of getting invitations to play on Facebook, I finally succumbed to curiosity. Dear God, WHY. I haven’t been this addicted to a game since I entered rehab for my joint Mine Sweeper and Pipe Dream addictions over a decade ago! I close my eyes and I see the Candy Crush playing field. Candy Crush combos infiltrate my dream life. If you guys ever learn that I’ve actually paid for lives or boosters, I hereby give you permission to confiscate my credit card, iPhone and laptop. But luckily this addiction to Candy Crush has not been without its rewards — I have learned a number of vital life lessons simply by playing this game for hours on end. I hope that by sharing them with you, I have made the emotional suffering Candy Crush has caused somehow worthwhile. Keep reading »
This is just concept art right now, the final design is TBD but Game Salute is currently developing a Princess Bride board game. They write, “In order to do justice to the entire story, The Princess Bride: The Board Game is comprised of individual scenes, with each scene presenting a mini-game that advances players through the central story. This allows players looking for a quick, fun visit to a beloved classic to play a game that lasts under an hour, while players who want to experience the entire Princess Bride story in one sitting can enjoy an epic day of fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles.” Read more…
I wasn’t really into Monopoly as a kid. There were just too many friggin’ rules (like, why can’t you just grab the money when it’s right there?), and if I couldn’t have the Scottie, then I was not down to play. How cruel of the game’s creators to only offer one single desirable token, pretty much guaranteeing that this was not a game you could play with your siblings lest there be blood spilt over who had to be the thimble or the wheelbarrow. Maybe that’s just how they got rid of people back then. Population control and all.
In January, Hasbro finally heeded this obvious oversight and launched the “Save Your Token” Facebook campaign, which is exactly what it sounds like: a brutal fight to the death where only 7 of the 8 classic tokens would survive. And who got the boot but that boring-ass iron! Clearly that token was made for the ladiez way back when, and we no longer have any use for it. (Did we ever?) Because of, you know, feminism and stuff. Not only did they replace the most sexist Monopoly token of all, but they replaced it with the best thing possible: a cat. It’s a pretty handsome one, too! So step aside, Scottie, I know which token I’m staking my claims on next time I play Monopoly. Which, in all honesty, could be never. [BuzzFeed]
Real talk: Both Ami and I are obsessive Tetris players. We both play Tetris on our iPhones on our travels to and from work. It’s my subway escape. I have mastered how to play while embarking and disembarking from the train and I can play virtually anywhere. Ami’s high score (she’s only been playing a couple of months) is 205,746. Mine is 568,600. I’ve played no less than, like, 13,000 games on my phone. Like, my phone might as well just be for Tetris and text messages. I, uh, might have a problem.
It occurred to me that Tetris might not just be a game of fitting shapes into other shapes originally invented by Russians (true story): It might also be a metaphor! For life! And love! And so Ami and I have come up with a list of 13 rules of Tetris that also apply to dating. Keep reading »
You know, every time I start thinking to myself, Amelia, maybe you should have a dry month, a sign from the heavens appears and says, “Girl, are you crazy? Wine is your friend!” Such a sign appeared to me today in the form of Winerd, a trivia game for wine geeks/functional alcoholics. Basically, you taste different wines and try to figure out where they’re from (“Trader Joe’s, aisle 3!”) and how you would describe their flavors (“Woody!” “Like heaven!”). There’s a board and game pieces and somehow competition is involved. Honestly, it sounds a little complicated and will I even remember the wine factoids in the morning, once my Winerd hangover has worn off? Only way to tell is to play. I’ll get back to you. [$23.09, Cooking.com]
To Whom It May Concern At Parker Brothers:
Please make this “Wire”-inspired mockup of Monopoly a reality. I need it. I need it the way Bubbles needs smack. Speaking of which, I would also like to humbly suggest the addition of Omar Little, Stringer Bell, Marlo Stanfield, Avon Barksdale, and Prop Joe game pieces. (I promise not to make the Omar and Stringer game pieces make out.) Anyway, can you get started on this soon? I would like it for Christmas. Please don’t make me bust a cap in your ass.
P.S. Click here to see the full image. [Buzzfeed]