I’m no sexual stunt woman. I didn’t even know female ejaculation existed until about five years ago. At the time, it seemed like nothing I needed to worry about. You’d probably have to really put in an effort to make something like that happen, I figured. I had more important things to do. But then it happened to a friend of mine quite unexpectedly, as she was doing it with a boy toy, and my interest was piqued.

Hi, I’m Dr. V.  I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…

Despite the big fuss made over virginity and sex, studies have show that 70-75% of women do NOT orgasm from vaginal intercourse. That leaves about a quarter of women who can and some people attribute that to the G-spot.  Now, there are a lot of haters who will tell you the G-spot is like Narnia or a UFO—a myth, an orgasmic tall tale. Helen O’Connell in 1998 theorized that it’s just an extension of the clitoris—although, at least she believes there’s something there. Shockingly enough, so little research has been done on the vag, it is practically like Area 51.  Back in 2001, the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology published, “the evidence is far too weak to support the reality of the G-spot.” In 2006, the Journal Of Sexual Medicine said in 101 vaginal biopsies they didn’t find a single particular erogenous zone. Surprisingly, but in fact, the “G-spot” isn’t even an accepted part of the female anatomy according to the medical community. Pfft! While these academics can argue over its existence, anyone who has ever had sex with me can tell you there is no denying it! And in 2008, aray of proof/hope from researchers in Italy shined a light on the G-spot’s location and power.  Listen up: the G-spot is NOT the sexual version of Santa Claus. It really does exist!

The mythic G-spot seems even too mysterious for an episode of the X Files to uncover it.  Where is it?  What is it?  And how do you work the darn thing?! After reading Divine Caroline, a few things became clear:

1. The G-Spot is actually the Skene Gland- a thick lining on the front side of the vag. While baby boys grow a prostate, the same structure can also develop in some women and it becomes the infamous G-spot.
2. Female ejaculate is made up of the same ingredients that sperms get shipped off in.
3. Only 10% of women can ejaculate.

“What’s the scoop on the male G-spot?”—Where’s Waldo?, via email

The main difference between the male G-spot and the female G-spot is that one is waaaay easier to find. Wanna guess which one?

If you said male…you’re right. It seems to me that if God were super smart, he would have reversed that. I mean, most guys can barely find the remote control, let alone a piece of spongy tissue inside your vagina. But that makes YOUR job way easier. The male G-spot is essentially the prostate gland, and it’s located in the man’s badonkadonk. Rumor has it that if you stimulate the male G-spot, it makes the guy have an amazing orgasm. Use this guide, after the jump, the next time you’re feeling frisky with your man…

We love sex. You love sex. Well, that’s out of the way.

Seeing as we’re both in agreement over the importance of sex, the excitement of sex, the giggle-inducing, gasp-inspiring, slow-motion tsunami of gooseflesh-triggering awesomeness of sex, we can move on to why it is we can’t really talk about S-E-X.

Women think men are mysterious when it comes to knocking boots, or worse, single-minded and simplistic. We’re not. You’re mysterious, and that’s not playground rhetoric. The difference between what we want and what you want, our needs and yours, is the difference between banal home theater instruction manuals and more exotic hieroglyphics.

Is it possible for a woman to have a vaginal-only orgasm—no clitoral stimulation at all?—Wondering About The Big O, Dallas, TX

Well, the answer is SOME women can. A vaginal orgasm is triggered by stimulation of the infamous “G-spot,” located on the upper/front vaginal wall, behind the urethra (think of it as facing the stomach). Up until recently, it was thought that all women might have one. Now, the debate seems to be settled. With the help of ultrasounds, researchers recently found that not all women possess this magical spot. In a group study, the G-spot area was significantly thicker in women who claimed to have vaginal orgasms, and invisible in women who did not.

So, the cause of this? Well, it seems to be genetics. So blame (or thank) your Mom for your lack of vaginal orgasm, not your boyfriend.

Scientists are searching for the elusive G-spot as if they were Indiana Jones going after the Holy Grail, and new research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests that they may have found it. In a study of 20 women, the ones who were able to achieve vaginal orgasm had thicker tissues between the vagina and the uretha. However, some women might not have G-spots. “If a woman spends all her time worrying about whether she is normal, or has a G-spot or not, she will focus on just one area, and ignore everything else,” Dr. Petra Boynton, a sexual psychologist at University College London told the BBC. “...telling people that there is a single, best way to have sex…isn’t the right thing to do.” Ain’t that the truth. [BBC]