Tag Archives: future bride baby onesie

Hitched: The Future Bride Onesie Is Coming For Your Children

Yesterday in Austin, Texas, a city I’m very proud to call home, 250 people gathered on the south steps of the state capitol for a nice round of bigoted back-patting, peppered with lines like this, from state senator Donna Campbell: “They want to redefine marriage between a natural man and natural woman the same way they want to redefine the Constitution.”

This, of course, while the Supreme Court was hearing arguments on same-sex marriage.

“Our core values are being attacked on a daily basis,” Campbell told the crowd.

I like that line, about “core values” that are “being attacked,” because if there’s one thing that gives me a little pleasure when thinking about people like Donna Campbell, and others who would deny civil rights to all Americans because something something Jesus, it’s the thought that maybe they stay up at night seriously worried that the gays, or whoever Donna Campbell thinks “they” might be, are coming for her values and children, cowering beneath their quilted comforters.

Maybe that thought is funny to me because things like the “Future Bride” baby onesie exist in the world. If anyone is coming for your children, it is hyper-normative heterosexuals who can’t even wait for a little girl to get out of goddamned diapers before casting her as a sexual being. Keep reading »

Babies Prepared To Be Brides Right Out Of The Womb!

Baby Mops!
Have a baby and a dirty floor? Then you've got yourself a Baby Mop. Read More »
Babyccino
baby drinking photo
Coffee drinks for babies? What? Read More »
The New Baby Shower
New trends in showers. Read More »

Your little nugget still shits her diapers, but that doesn’t mean she still isn’t being prepared for the most important role she’ll ever play in life: future bride. It’s never too early to start thinking about that ring on your finger. Seriously, Zulily.com, what are you thinking? A crystal-encrusted onesie advertising a newborn baby as a bride-to-be is all the proof I need the wedding industrial complex has gone haywire. [Jezebel]

 

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