The reviews on Amazon are often a treasure trove of hilarity, but occasionally they are both amusing and educational. For example, I had no idea until today that if I were to eat a handful of Haribo sugarless gummy bears, I could expect my insides to turn into hot lava. According to the hundreds of reviews for the candy on Amazon, these gummy bears are incredibly tasty going in and incredibly painful coming out. As I’m a journalist, I plan on finding and ingesting these bears myself to confirm the validity of the reviews. I have a very strong and regular constitution, so if these Haribo sugarless gummies manage to give me “projectile diarrhea so foul and so watery it could have gone through … nylons,” as one reviewer described, you’ll know they’re to be avoided. I’ll report back! In the meantime, check out some more of the hilarious reviews of these unintentional laxatives after the jump! [Amazon via Slightly Viral] Keep reading »
Emily Winter is not just one of our freelancer writers. Once upon a time, she was also a highly suspect little girl whose parents — both lawyers — made her sign an affidavit to confirm to the Tooth Fairy that she really did lose a tooth she claimed to have lost. She even searched in her Alpha Bits cereal looking for it! Fortunately, her Notary Public father signed off on the document, so she was free to accept renumerance from the Tooth Fairy. Ah, lawyers.
Read Emily’s full affidavit after the jump: Keep reading »
Hi, Publicist Who Sent Us A Press Release About Healthy HooHoo Premium Feminine Care Products!
Thanks for the heads up about how to shower our “most precious parts with these soft and gentle wipes.” And by “most precious parts,” you mean our hoohoos. One thing — is “hoohoo” the name of my vagina? Because it is also the name of my grandmother on my dad’s side, and this could get confusing. If it’s OK with you, I’ll refer to the products by a less disrespectful name, the East River Ferry.
Anyway, I did have a few other queries about your premium line of innovative gal pal accessories. Here goes: Keep reading »
If you’re like a lot of people, you spent at least part of New Year’s Eve in da clurrrb sweatin’ off that fifth cocktail. Okay, maybe that was just me. Now I need to watch this video intently and figure out which type of dancer I am/steal some of their moves. I’m probably the “clumsy” or the “self molester,” not to be confused with the “hair molester.” Which one are you? [YouTube via Laughing Squid]