According to a new company named ManServants, what women really want is “a man who treats you like a queen.” And what queens want, apparently, are personal butlers/handymen/fake boyfriends. (But not, to be clear, strippers or gigolos.) The San Francisco company will hire “ManServant” who meets your exact specifications — any hair color, any dress code — who will answer to any name you call him. He’ll address all his female clients as “my lady” and respond to any request with “as you wish.” The ManServant will serve you drinks, fix your flats, chauffer you around, and even speak in an accent if you so desire.
And all it takes is cold hard cash! I already have attractive friends. What I don’t have is a minion who does chores. Let’s pool our savings, shall we? Some task ideas for the ManServant I will definitely spend my hard-earned money on: Keep reading »
When four-year-old Cadence pressed the wrong buttons on her family’s digital camera, she realized she’d deleted a photo of her Uncle Dave — and that deleted photos never, ever come back. This was a pretty earth-shattering discovery for Cadence, if her somber message to Uncle Dave is any indication. The good news is that Uncle Dave did send her more pictures to replace the lost one. Crisis averted! [Laughing Squid]
You wouldn’t want to ruin a strange man’s day by not giving him a big toothy grin when he calls at you on the street, “SMILE!” With the Smile Bitch Training Camp, you, too, can be ready to look happy for absolute strangers no matter how shitty your day has been. [Twitter.com/JancelleJComic]
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In my day, I’ve come across many children I want to snatch up and keep for myself, and Noah Ritter has now made his way to the top of my list (sorry, Blue Ivy, you’ve been bumped). The five-year-old was visiting a local fair when WNEP gave him the chance to talk on live television about one of the rides, but he had an agenda of his own. Needless to say, he completely stole the show. Noah may only be in kindergarten, but he’s “apparently” already found his favorite word. He’s also apparently the cutest, funniest kid ever and I can only hope my offspring are as awesome as he is.
Two of my favorite things in this whole world are peaches and butts. Put those two together, and you have the greatest lovechild of all time, not including Blue Ivy Carter. So what is a peach butt, you ask? Keep reading »