Tag Archives: funny

These Derpy Dogs Are Stoned After A Visit To The Vet

the daily squee
dog stoned
"You're So High Right Now!"

I would never condone recreational painkiller use by domesticated animals. Just say no, dogs! But if they’re going to get high off of pain medications due to a trip to the vet, while, I guess that’s okay. Just make sure you film it for a supercut of high-off-their-ass pooches who have no idea what’s going on. Oh, if only these guys could talk … [The Daily Dot]

Apparently, The “Apparently Kid” Went On “Ellen”

noah ritter apparently kid
Apparently, He Was A Hit

Nothing brings joy to our hearts and barren wombs like “Apparently Kid”! And his appearance on “Ellen” yesterday did not disappoint. Noah Ritter — the five-year-old boy whose interview with a local newscaster went viral for his strong opinions about carnival rides and adorable overuse of the word “apparently” — took some time out from kindergarten to visit Ellen DeGeneres.  Noah filled her in on his new favorite word and the perils of walking to the bus stop. Someone get this kid an agent! [YouTube]

Channing Tatum Introduces “The Dick Graze”

Channing Tatum Dick Graze
It's Just The Way Channing Says Hello

Hey fellas, the next time you run into Channing Tatum and his hand touches your junk by way of a hello, don’t be alarmed — he’s not getting frisky, he’s just being friendly. That’s the dick graze! This hilarious video features Chan (rocking a very ’90s haircut, BTW, which really emphasizes the thickness of dat neck) rapping about his preferred greeting method, while Jillian Bell chimes in with the chick version — the tit graze (obviously). [NYMag.com]

14 Things You Need To Know About Ibiza, Judging By The Celebs Who Party There

14 Things You Need To Know About Ibiza, Judging By The Celebs Who Party There

Well, another fabulous summer in Ibiza comes to a close. The A-listers were busy this summer: Zac Efron got cozy with Michelle Rodriguez, Bieber got punched, Paris Hilton ate dinner. I compiled a few simple rules to help you survive next time you find yourself partying on the bronzed coast. Do they call it that? Let’s call it that. Keep reading »

Adorable Children Try Vegemite For The First Time, Are Not Impressed

vegemite kids
"I Recommend Nobody Ever Buys It Again"

“Vegemite is a dark brown Australian food paste made from leftover brewers’ yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives,” begins the Wikipedia page for noxious spreadable Vegemite. If you haven’t had the pleasure, Vegemite tastes extremely salty, is the color of dark poop, and has the consistency of slightly melted peanut butter.  You can spread Vegemite on toast or crackers, or even put in a sandwich if there is literally nothing else in your cupboards that you could put in a sandwich, including multivitamins. So naturally, giving Vegemite to young children without much of a personal filter is highly entertaining. [Laughing Squid]

Watch This Woman Accidentally Eat Bird Poop Ice Cream

Watch This Woman Accidentally Eat Bird Poop Ice Cream
And The Camera Guy Just Lets Her!

Happy Almost-Labor Day Weekend! It’s going to be a hot one, so eating ice cream is going to be an activity for a lot of people this weekend. Hopefully none of them have the grave misfortune of eating their ice cream 1) underneath a shitting bird and 2) with a loved one who is willing to sit back and laugh while they ingest its fecal droppings along with their scoop of vanilla. Because that’s what happened to this woman. I hope she smashed that cone in the camera guy’s face. [Gawker]

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