Is it my birthday? No seriously, is it my birthday? How else can you explain someone creating such a perfect masterpiece of all the things I’m interested in? The only thing that’s missing from this extremely comprehensive video of the cast of “Breaking Bad” doing R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” is maybe a basket of kittens eating a pizza. If you don’t want to see Jesse Pinkman utter “bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce,” I don’t want to know you. [YouTube]
For the most part, I’m super excited when one of my friends gets engaged. Good for them, finding the person of their dreams and shit. But what if your friend gets engaged to someone terrible? How are you supposed to respond to that? Because telling her how you really feel — “Do you really want to make the biggest mistake of your life?!” — is out of the question, and staring at her outstretched, blinged-out hand in horror would be, you know, rude, comedienne Sasheer Zamata has some suggestions for how to respond, without lying, when your pal tells you she’s marrying some douchebag. Step 7, “Gestures and Sounds,” will probably be my go-to. [The Hairpin]
I watched the inspirational and well-soundtracked speech you gave to the incoming class of engineering students at Georgia Tech, and I was inspired! No, I’ll never build an “Iron Man” suit, and I’ll likely never attend the Georgia Tech engineering program, because, well, math. But your speech was so powerful — especially the part where you said “If you wanna play theme music during your convocation speech like a badass, you can do that! I … am … doing … that!” – that I now feel prepared to take on a new challenge: making you my boyfriend so hard. Keep reading »
Prince is finally on Twitter, you guys, and it’s just about as wonderful as you might expect. The Purple One actually has a sense of humor about himself, or so it would seem based on the new album artwork he just posted via the social media site. Prince, or someone in his entourage made a “Breakfast Can Wait” album cover, inspired by a
1994 2004 ”Chapelle Show” sketch. In it, Charlie Murphy recalls a wild night spent at Prince’s mansion, where they played “shirts vs. blouses” basketball and ate pancakes.
Of course, this is not (probably?) actually the new Prince album cover, but it is an actual new song: Keep reading »
The penis cake pan’s struggle is oft-commemorated in poetry and song. Surely you remember the Dylan Thomas poem “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night (Penis Cake Pan).” It goes:
Do not go gentle into that good night penis cake pan / Your novelty cake pan should burn and rave at close of day / Rage, rage against the dying of the penis cake pan.
It’s a very famous poem. What does one do with a penis cake pan after the bachelorette party/penis-themed seasonal bacchanal/fertility party is over? One brave woman put on her baking imaginarium cap and tried to figure it out. Check out her handy penis-work after the jump! [BForbel]
Keep reading »
German electronic songstress Anika makes moody mysterious dance pop. Her latest track, “In the City,” is a ’70s disco-heavy number, and is accompanied by a head-turning video. A young girl is presented with several potential beaus who must audition for her. She chooses a partner based on the quality of their legs. Yes, their legs. The winner gets a bride, and as far as we can tell, a sheep’s head in a plastic bag. Not too shabby. [YouTube]
Gregory Kloehn, a California designer and proud dumpster dweller, is livin’ the dream, my friends. Not only is this oversized trash receptacle his Brooklyn vacation home, but as it sits atop wheels, he can totally move it outside of the NYC borough. You know, like a little portable bachelor pad. Vegas, here he comes! He converted the $2,000 dumpster into a cozy portable home, complete with a kitchen, toilet (?), bed, retractable roof, and water tank. And truly, what else does one need? He described his epiphany on the HGTV show “You Live In What?” with this explanation: ”It just hit me. I thought, Hey, this is the perfect shape for a home.” How do the ladies resist? Kloehn: 1. The rest of us: 0. [Daily Mail; Metro UK] [Image courtesy of Metro UK]
You like hot guys. You like French fries. You are shocked and appalled that it’s taken the world this long to come up with a site that celebrates the two at the same time. And yet, here we are, in 2013 with Guys With Fries. A single-serving blog in which dude’s cell phones are Photoshopped out of selfie shots and replaced with a container of fries, this is either the most dirty snack food/sex combo, or the most brilliant underground marketing for McDonald’s. Click through to see a couple more fry guys (including one who’s trying to kill us by also holding a puppy). [Guys With Fries] Keep reading »
Fun fact: Jay Z apparently did away with his Jay-Z hyphen around three years ago. Of course, most of us didn’t pay attention. We liked the hyphen. We wanted it at our parties and movie outings. The rapper made the name change official in June, following the release of his latest album, Magna Carta Holy Grail. And finally, our little hyphen friend realized he’d have to look elsewhere for love.
So he did what so many have done before him, and sought out companionship via Craigslist: Keep reading »