The penis cake pan’s struggle is oft-commemorated in poetry and song. Surely you remember the Dylan Thomas poem “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night (Penis Cake Pan).” It goes:
Do not go gentle into that good night penis cake pan / Your novelty cake pan should burn and rave at close of day / Rage, rage against the dying of the penis cake pan.
It’s a very famous poem. What does one do with a penis cake pan after the bachelorette party/penis-themed seasonal bacchanal/fertility party is over? One brave woman put on her baking imaginarium cap and tried to figure it out. Check out her handy penis-work after the jump! [BForbel]
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German electronic songstress Anika makes moody mysterious dance pop. Her latest track, “In the City,” is a ’70s disco-heavy number, and is accompanied by a head-turning video. A young girl is presented with several potential beaus who must audition for her. She chooses a partner based on the quality of their legs. Yes, their legs. The winner gets a bride, and as far as we can tell, a sheep’s head in a plastic bag. Not too shabby. [YouTube]
Gregory Kloehn, a California designer and proud dumpster dweller, is livin’ the dream, my friends. Not only is this oversized trash receptacle his Brooklyn vacation home, but as it sits atop wheels, he can totally move it outside of the NYC borough. You know, like a little portable bachelor pad. Vegas, here he comes! He converted the $2,000 dumpster into a cozy portable home, complete with a kitchen, toilet (?), bed, retractable roof, and water tank. And truly, what else does one need? He described his epiphany on the HGTV show “You Live In What?” with this explanation: ”It just hit me. I thought, Hey, this is the perfect shape for a home.” How do the ladies resist? Kloehn: 1. The rest of us: 0. [Daily Mail; Metro UK] [Image courtesy of Metro UK]
You like hot guys. You like French fries. You are shocked and appalled that it’s taken the world this long to come up with a site that celebrates the two at the same time. And yet, here we are, in 2013 with Guys With Fries. A single-serving blog in which dude’s cell phones are Photoshopped out of selfie shots and replaced with a container of fries, this is either the most dirty snack food/sex combo, or the most brilliant underground marketing for McDonald’s. Click through to see a couple more fry guys (including one who’s trying to kill us by also holding a puppy). [Guys With Fries] Keep reading »
Fun fact: Jay Z apparently did away with his Jay-Z hyphen around three years ago. Of course, most of us didn’t pay attention. We liked the hyphen. We wanted it at our parties and movie outings. The rapper made the name change official in June, following the release of his latest album, Magna Carta Holy Grail. And finally, our little hyphen friend realized he’d have to look elsewhere for love.
So he did what so many have done before him, and sought out companionship via Craigslist: Keep reading »
Admit it, you’ve had a frenemy or two in your life. We may not mean to get in these weird passive-aggressive one-upping relationships, but suddenly there you are, saying something like, “You are so brave to wear your hair like that.” Here, “Happy Endings” (R.I.P.) actress Eliza Coupe and Lauryn Kahn play nasty, vindictive, totally hilarious frenemies. This is the most recent in the “Frenemies” series, but it’s worth it to watch all three. [Funny Or Die]
When it comes to judging — or rather, assessing — the appearance, weight, and other such physical attributes of People That Are Not Me, I am forgiving to the point that someone close to me refers to me (endearingly? maybe? I hope?) as “Shallow Hal” (post-hypnotherapeutic incantation, obviously). It’s not that I can’t see it, I just don’t care; what you look like means absolutely nothing to me. I tend to see a person with a personality, rather than a body with a face. And yet, when it comes to myself, I am cruel as can be. I say things to and about myself so callous and demeaning, I literally would not say them to my worst enemy. Look, I don’t even have a worst enemy, but in the event that I did, I would not be even half as mean to them as I am to myself. Body Dysmorphic Disorder: I got it on lock. Comedian Annie Lederman (who, by the way, looks really familiar, and I’m not sure if it’s because I ran into her at a party or something or because she bears a striking resemblance to Emily VanCamp, nor will I ever know, but we do have one mutual friend on Facebook) did an uncanny job of capturing the dichotomy between what you see when you look at me, which is an average, acceptably attractive human female, and what I see when I look in the mirror, which is Danny Devito. ACCURATE. [Annie Lederman via Huffington Post]
Aubrey Plaza, as an actress, does dead-eyed and monotone-voiced really well. Which is why she’s actually perfect to play Daria, in a live-action version of the popular MTV cartoon. She basically is Daria, right? Unfortch, this movie isn’t real (yet!), but the faux trailer is a good start. [College Humor]
Listen up, potential wedding guests. You’re gonna wanna come to our wedding, okay? The Kerr and Solano clans are a lot of fun. But guys, we are going to need a headcount, so that we can make sure we have enough booze and snacks for all y’all. So kindly make it your beeswax to fill out this RSVP card and let us know whether you’ll be partying with us or if you’re gonna be totally lame. In case you can’t read the small print, we’ve helpfully enlarged the card, after the jump! [Reddit] Keep reading »