Megan MacKay, can we be friends? Because your “Ray Rice makeup tutorial” (hey, watch it first before you get offended!) is the most cutting commentary of our complete cultural fucktitude over Ray Rice that I’ve seen. You can watch more of Megan’s work on YouTube for her takes on LEGO’s female scientists, Hobby Lobby and Planned Parenthood. [UpWorthy]
Warning: What you are about to see is equal parts hilarious and uncomfortable. YouTubers The Fine Bros have corralled a bunch of elders and forced them to watch the trailer for “Fifty Shades of Grey,” which left some squeamish and others completely intrigued. My favorite commentator is the lady who refers to the movie subject as “the s-word” (because apparently saying ‘sex’ is filthy?) and the dude who says he’ll go see the movie because “when I saw that her mouth was taped, that was enough for me.” Just prepare yourselves to watch folks your grandparents’ ages talking about getting it on, and enjoy.
The good people of Vancouver were none too pleased at a new piece of artwork that appeared in view of the city’s SkyTrain commuters: a nine-foot-tall, bright red, naked, erect Satan statue, who saluted viewers with one hand while (you might say devilishly) reaching for his penis with the other. The Lord Of Darkness appeared courtesy of a guerilla artist whose identity is still unknown. The city removed Satan from the Grandview-Woodlands neighborhood with a terse statement: “The statue was not a piece of City commissioned artwork and consequently it has been removed.” [New York Daily News; Van City Buzz]
I would never condone recreational painkiller use by domesticated animals. Just say no, dogs! But if they’re going to get high off of pain medications due to a trip to the vet, while, I guess that’s okay. Just make sure you film it for a supercut of high-off-their-ass pooches who have no idea what’s going on. Oh, if only these guys could talk … [The Daily Dot]
Nothing brings joy to our hearts and barren wombs like “Apparently Kid”! And his appearance on “Ellen” yesterday did not disappoint. Noah Ritter — the five-year-old boy whose interview with a local newscaster went viral for his strong opinions about carnival rides and adorable overuse of the word “apparently” — took some time out from kindergarten to visit Ellen DeGeneres. Noah filled her in on his new favorite word and the perils of walking to the bus stop. Someone get this kid an agent! [YouTube]
Hey fellas, the next time you run into Channing Tatum and his hand touches your junk by way of a hello, don’t be alarmed — he’s not getting frisky, he’s just being friendly. That’s the dick graze! This hilarious video features Chan (rocking a very ’90s haircut, BTW, which really emphasizes the thickness of dat neck) rapping about his preferred greeting method, while Jillian Bell chimes in with the chick version — the tit graze (obviously). [NYMag.com]