Tag Archives: funny

Creative Ways To Announce A Pregnancy In Any Profession

dog walker pregnancy

Facebook is overrun with pictures of baby bumps or “side belly cleavage,” as I like to call it, originating with women announcing their journey from TTC (trying to conceive) to TWW (two-week window after ovulation) to Chosen Ones With Tiny John McCains in Their Bellies. As friends, we’re overjoyed when we see these in our feed, obviously, because we’re all going to get free baby lessons once our friends duplicate (this  is the correct terminology, right?).

There is a contingent of people who find the public baby bump pics, ultrasound avatars, or photographs of loaf of bread in the oven a little smug. But my key objection is the sheer lack of originality. Your ovaries spit out an egg that caught the flying shuttlecock of your mate mid-Fallopian tube — that is some world-class tennis you’re playing, lady! Your prowess in implanting a fertilized embryo deserves something a little more personalized.

If you’ve received the lucky news that you’re adding an initial to your Pottery Barn towels, tell your friends and family one of these fun ways: Keep reading »

Amorous Polish Donkeys Reunited At Zoo After Slut-Shamey Separation

donkeys 092614

It isn’t just teenaged girls who are slut-shamed for their sexual behavior. A pair of donkeys at a zoo in Poznan, Poland were unfairly and unjustly separated after their “amorous” “lovemaking” upset local mothers.  Keep reading »

Stop What You’re Doing And Watch The “Ray Rice Makeup Tutorial”

ray rice makeup tutorial
"I Really Like This Color!"

Megan MacKay, can we be friends? Because your “Ray Rice makeup tutorial” (hey, watch it first before you get offended!) is the most cutting commentary of our complete cultural fucktitude over Ray Rice that I’ve seen. You can watch more of Megan’s work on YouTube for her takes on LEGO’s female scientists, Hobby Lobby and Planned Parenthood. [UpWorthy]

Watch Old People React To The “Fifty Shades Of Grey” Trailer, Read Scenes From Book

Watch Old People React To '50 Shades Of Grey' Trailer, Read Scenes From Book
LOL

Warning: What you are about to see is equal parts hilarious and uncomfortable. YouTubers The Fine Bros have corralled a bunch of elders and forced them to watch the trailer for “Fifty Shades of Grey,” which left some squeamish and others completely intrigued. My favorite commentator is the lady who refers to the movie subject as “the s-word” (because apparently saying ‘sex’ is filthy?) and the dude who says he’ll go see the movie because “when I saw that her mouth was taped, that was enough for me.” Just prepare yourselves to watch folks your grandparents’ ages talking about getting it on, and enjoy.

Vancouver Fails To Appreciate Naked, Erect Satan Sculpture

The good people of Vancouver were none too pleased at a new piece of artwork that appeared in view of the city’s SkyTrain commuters: a nine-foot-tall, bright red, naked, erect Satan statue, who saluted viewers with one hand while (you might say devilishly) reaching for his penis with the other. The Lord Of Darkness appeared courtesy of a guerilla artist whose identity is still unknown. The city removed Satan from the Grandview-Woodlands neighborhood with a terse statement: “The statue was not a piece of City commissioned artwork and consequently it has been removed.” [New York Daily News; Van City Buzz]

These Derpy Dogs Are Stoned After A Visit To The Vet

the daily squee
dog stoned
"You're So High Right Now!"

I would never condone recreational painkiller use by domesticated animals. Just say no, dogs! But if they’re going to get high off of pain medications due to a trip to the vet, while, I guess that’s okay. Just make sure you film it for a supercut of high-off-their-ass pooches who have no idea what’s going on. Oh, if only these guys could talk … [The Daily Dot]

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