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For The Week Of September 5-11, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re not wrong to think that something is coming for you, because it is and when it hits, it’ll be as if the whole world will brighten that shade of grey, as your cynicism will be challenged in a rather direct way. No matter, it’s not like you haven’t been bored for too long already. So, yes, consider this week the one that’ll put your life a little more on track. Keep reading »

For The Week Of August 29-September 4, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Twists and exciting turns are coming, as you’ll start to see the light of a different future. Yes, cryptic happenings are on the horizon, which will change your point of view and ultimately your trajectory. While it doesn’t mean you won’t want the same things, it might just mean changing the form of how you first assumed it will happen.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You do know how to present well, but that doesn’t mean that people can’t see through your glossy veneer. Try all you might to appear as if you’ve got it all together, but what really will that get you? If you need help, don’t be shy about accepting it. There is support available and no shame in wanting it. Besides, who really likes perfection anyway? So boring!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Commitments you’ve made or your ideas about relationships are about to start to slip into reverse and have you going either into a major time warp or into a radical reassessment of what you view as romance. No, life doesn’t always work in linear ways, but this week will have you all over the map and where you will wind up is anyone’s guess.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You are not the same person as you used to be, so when old temptations come back into play, it might not have the same tragic outcome as it usually would. As it happens, redemption is something that is possible for you now, but unless you face the dragon, you will never know how strong you have actually become.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

People have weird tastes and there’s no accounting for it. If you aren’t their cup of tea, whatever. Accept it and move on, instead of thinking you can work harder to get what you want. Sometimes targets you aim for just aren’t worth the ammo spent. So, this time, if you find you’re in this situation, quit while you are ahead, as there is nothing to win trying to play with a brick wall.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Use your sixth sense, because it will come in handy in all sorts of ways, even if what your gut is telling you to do is too out of the ordinary. Otherwise, trying to rely on being logical or even kind in the most simplistic way can backfire on you, as the personalities you come into contact with this week will be working in very bizarre ways.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Foibles in communications will make you crazy and it might seem as if you and your honey are slipping off the same page, but if you remember what you truly love about each other and keep that at the forefront of your thoughts, you can rise about the madness that will ensue. Yes, not everything will be smooth, but if you know you’re ultimately in it to win it, then all will be fine.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

No one is perfect, but as long as you can function, you have nothing to complain about. Yes, getting to the finish line of each day will be an accomplishment unto itself, as your confidence may take a few nosedives throughout the confusion that will arise this week. But if you can take baby steps to at least go through the motions, it will minimize your agony.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

People who gloat are annoying, because everyone knows if they were truly happy they wouldn’t have to brag to feel good about themselves. So, this week, when a competitive someone around you feels the need to try to step on you to get a leg up, get in touch with your compassion, because, as it stands, those people suck and need your sympathy, not aggravated attention.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’ve learned a lot from your past, and have come a long way. However, to leap into the future the way you want, you will have to go over some things that didn’t work out in your favor from days gone by and ask yourself “Why?” Yes, time to do some major soul-searching, as it is time to reconcile some mistakes and sort out how changing the future can correct the past.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

A major case of c**kblocking can begin this week and from an unlikely source. Of course, it’s likely it won’t change anything with whomever you are romantically into, but seeing that other in such a light can be problematic. It’s never pleasant to find out that someone who you thought had your back doesn’t actually have it, but in fact might want to stab it instead.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

The ride to the top will get a little bumpy, but if you can roll with the punches gracefully, it will earn you the support you need to get to the next level. However, the transitions will confuse. Yes, many conundrums to face now, but if you’ve got the brains to sort them out, you’ll also have what it takes to sort out other upcoming opportunities — which could bring you major success.

For The Week Of August 22-28, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Time to start assessing where exactly you stand on all the things that matter, as it’s time to discern if it’s going to be one of those long winters or not. Chances are you will like what you see, but on the small chance it’s not, that just means you’ll have to hustle a little harder, as there is still some time left on the clock.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Despite what you might hear, you are going to have to pay attention to your intuition, as it’s going to be at its peak now and can lead you out of pending despair — if you bravely face the truth and its consequences. Yes, we’d all like to see the world with rose-colored glasses, right now, you should know that point of view will eventually catch up with you in a bad way.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You aren’t one to trust everything you hear, especially when there’s so much information coming at you. However, you know you’re not one to get sucked into vapid sweet talk either, so do know these facts will add up in your favor and it’s about you believing it. So, your task for this week is understanding that your fear of being a sucker is as big as your fear of accepting the truth.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’re near the finish line of a tumultuous cycle and all will start to feel a lot rosier this week. If you’ve been putting forth towards your dreams in the bigger sense, then this will be the time when rewards will start to roll in and you’ll understand your calling in a bigger sense. You know it, feeling good is going to be a more intense sensation, inside and out!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You can’t care what anyone else wants. If this means going all out selfish and closing off the world to just do what you want, then so be it. It’s not like you’ll be icing them out forever, but sometimes that nagging is just too much and for some reason the people around you just don’t understand the word “No.” Thankfully, though, they will understand a closed door in their face.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

We all love dirty little secrets when shared by that one and only, which is why this week will be so special, as those trust issues that have been driving you a bit batty over the course of your latest tryst finally get settled with a big bang. Yes, that key to that mystical land called trust will become yours; so don’t screw it up now by being judgmental about what you hear.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can always count on being good to yourself will put a smile on your face. So, as this week becomes all about being-with-my-baby-and-no-else-will-matter, know it won’t make you too popular with anyone but your baby. However, you can’t feel guilty for your pleasures, because as it goes, you need to get it good while the good can be got!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Embrace practicality, organization and routine as your new tenets, because you’ll have no time for much else anyway. However, this is more of an attitude that you’ll need to adopt, rather than a indication of this week’s pressures —this is your time to start revving up your engine, but until you light that spark inside, nothing is going to happen.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Not everything has to make sense, least of all love. Seems just about anything can surprise you now, as something way out of the ordinary will start to float your boat in that scheming, horny devilish way. Yes, a new attraction will hit, bringing out that darker and lustier side in you — and you’ll love it.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

There are endless excuses to evade the truth, or if you want to take it in baby steps, that is fine too. However, if you’re postponing it due to what you think is a pending disaster, realize it might not be — as you might actually be delaying your happiness instead. As it stands, nothing is set in stone now; so do take part in creating your destiny, rather than avoiding it.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Be warned: no matter what you say, your honey is going to take it as nagging. Seems there will no winning this week, without waging a small battle each time. Whatever, a little spunkiness here and there never hurt anyone, even if it’s inspired by crabbiness. If anything, it’s putting up with him when he’s like this that’ll really let you know you love him.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Whatever you need this week, whether it’s more time alone or getting him to do what you want, you’re going to have to throw some money at the problem. Call it the easiest solution to the dullest of issues, as dealing with it in any other way will bore you. This week, it’s invigorating relaxation you want, not tiresome tedium.

For The Week Of August 15-21, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re going to have to hustle a bit to get your schemes in order now, as things will likely be falling apart fast if you don’t stay on it like white on rice. Yes, time to push back all unimportant appointments and put out fires as they spark, even if they aren’t yours. No, this won’t be the sexiest week — that is, until you save the day.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Trying to be friends is impossible. After all, if things don’t come natural to you, forcing yourself to “try” always equals coming across as false — to yourself and often times to that other. So, as you move ahead with this week, pay attention to your feelings, as the trepidation is there for a reason, like a form of self-protection.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

People can be such crackheads. While you make it a job to be painfully honest, understand it’s not the same for others. So, keep this in mind as someone talking an impressive game might not be as forthright as you want. Not that you should sympathize, as it is likely they are trying to sound as if they’re on your equal plane. No matter, a liar is a liar.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Hot attractions make you burst at the seams, as you’re not one to hide excitement when you’re feeling it. However, this week, someone will be stirring your curiosity in a more mysterious way and it’d be best if you keep this one on the down-low until you can sort it all out and figure this secret’s place in your life. He or she will not have proven their worth in just a week.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Perhaps it’s work stress or annoying family issues, but whatever the case, it’ll be making you need your outlets in a bigger way. Yes, expect to feel dirtier and hornier this week — but lucky you, your honey will be on that same vibe to, so don’t be shy in initiating XXX scenes, as they’ll be one thing in your life that will be as easy and tasty as pie.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Life is flying by you so fast, it might seem as if you’ve hardly have anytime to absorb all the recent events and sort out where you want the future to go. You know it, that mood to break out those talks with your latest piece will be happening, as you’ll be feeling a bigger need to find a secure set of shoulders you can count on.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Every day will feel like a struggle, as everyone around you will think they’re right and of course, everyone will have a differing opinion. While you’ll wonder if it’s worth the battle, don’t waste time deciphering that answer. As it goes, when things get so hectic, it’s best to just bow out and let the bloody mess work itself out. Until then, enjoy going under the radar at the beach instead.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This week, don’t bother with the underwear. It’ll just be another thing getting in your way, as your unbridled passion and inner romantic will be taking over and making you act out on all sorts of insane impulses. No matter, it’s about time you had something in your life that makes you want to get off the couch.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Get ready as the flakes will be out this week, making you want to kill as the disappointments add up. So, as you read this now, save yourself and make a note not to set any plan in stone this week, because there will be more than enough communication snafus that will be out to bite your ass.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Don’t wait for your turn to talk. Strike while the iron is hot, even if it’s just for you. Yes, your show of power will put another off, but a change of mind will come in time. After all, there is never a good time for truth, especially when it comes with a painful sting, but once it settles, you’ll get the respect and results you’re ultimately aiming for.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’re just getting your stride going, so keep your eye on the prize. As it goes, this is your time to move ahead of the pack, as you have all the elements going for you — expect people. No, you won’t be getting the support you will need, but screw it, that validation isn’t necessary now. In fact, it may help you — sticking it to those slackers will be your best motivation yet.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’re not one to be shy, but somehow someone will be making you a bit timid — despite the fact you can talk night and day about them to others. Honey, wake up and realized you’re obsessed! While talking non-stop to others may make it somewhat real, only actions can make it truly come alive. So, work it now and don’t settle for looking without touching.

For The Week Of August 8-14, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It might feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders, so avoid letting yourself get run down. However, it’s likely this is more psychological than physical, as you’re playing your own worst enemy a little harder these days. Whatever the case, rely on traditions you have to pamper yourself, as it’ll take some self-bribery to truly motivate you properly this week.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

No matter how many judgments you have about yourself, you’ll be happy to discover that you are actually someone’s idol. Yes, love in the form of worship will be working its way to you and will cheer up a few dark spots in your life. As it goes, it’s just your perspective that needs some shifting and it seems that kick in the booty will come soon enough with ribbons and bows.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your trust issues can be such a bitch, but luckily the one person you trust the most, as in yourself, will prove to be a winner, as a hunch you’ve been hauling around will finally be confirmed, as the green light you’ve been hoping for will finally shine bright and give you the go ahead for the future you’ve been dreaming of.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You can’t force anyone to believe in your ideology by just saying it; they’ve got to watch you live it, as that is where you’ll gain the most fans. So, this week, despite just wanting to bark demands and have everything fall into place, realize it won’t be that easy. Motivation this week means taking action and truly being what you say.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Although having conflict is evil and can drain the life out of you, this week, when you get your sweet revenge, you’ll finally learn the sweeter points of war. Yes, those bitches that have doubted you and waited for you to fail will finally get a show they won’t forget, as they can all kiss your booty as you ascend up that ladder of success.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

This is your week to shine, as love and commitment will finally be one in the same. If you’re with someone, then expect the thrills to increase and more exciting responsibilities that bind to occur. If you’re single, work those sparks, as full on fire can ignite now. Yes, this isn’t the week for you to be sitting at home and knitting tea cozies.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Summer will start to truly sizzle now, as love, sex and destiny will all be happening in obvious ways. Yes, no more having to scour the scene for clues, as the mystery of emotions will start to unravel and reveal something sweet for you to hold onto. Of course, whether you get bored of this victory shortly will remain in question… However, doubtful. So don’t get dramatic!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

The world will revolve around you, dammit! To get it so will mean being a bit more assertive about where you want to go. So, no being a wallflower, and reach out to everyone with what you want. The more contact, the better. After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained, but as you’ll discover, there will be a lot of others who’ll want to spin around your axis.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Break out the bubbly, as good news will likely land into your life in terms of career. However, this can upset the balance on the homefront in some way, as a touchy ego won’t be so easy to maneuver around. No matter, don’t let anything or anyone rain on your parade now, no matter how hard someone wants to guilt-trip you. This is your week, so take it.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Madness does make you curious, but this time around, be ready to look beyond the surface, as the show that’s being put on can appear to be more dramatic that it actually is, so beware. If you want the truth, it’ll mean sitting back and taking in the bigger picture. As it goes, if you look long and hard enough, you will see everything for what it is.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’re going to have to do a lot more leg work than you would like, but if you want what you want, it’ll mean setting an example and the minions will follow from there. Yes, power can be a bitch to wield, but if you stay focused, the rewards will arrive one by one. So, have faith, as now things won’t move too fast for anything or anyone but you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Hold people to their word! Otherwise, if you start to give in now, there’s no telling how far you’ll stretch your limits and once you go there, what’s the point? If you do, it’ll put you on the defensive, rather than the offensive, and that is just not an acceptable position for someone as charming and divine as you. Seriously!

For The Week Of August 1-7, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Being part of a team means being open to suggestions. This week, keep yourself wide open because ideas from others will be way more practical than yours. If you can humble yourself to give them a try, you’ll see results fairly fast and so to your liking that you might even realize you’ve underestimated some of those around you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Just as one direction of your life tips upwards, another will start to go down. Who knows which side will reap the benefits and which won’t? Thankfully, as the sign of balance, you will take this all in stride, as patience will be the only way to work through to getting all back on track.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your faith has been rocked to its core and, at this point, you’re exhausted. No, no one ever said life was easy, and especially with the high standards you’ve set up. Whatever, no one ever led an extraordinary life without making extraordinary decisions either. So, if you can’t stand by that now, realize it’d make all the hard work you’ve put in go away in vain.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

The stress will be rising and forcing all sorts of kinks out of you. While nothing else can be done about the mishaps, at the very least, you should take care of you and feed those bizarre hungers, as you never know where inspiration can come from now. Taking those dips into the darker side of your psyche can prove to be an eye-opening experience.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Time to make good on an old promise and put your love life back as a real priority. If this means throwing some money into it, then so be it. If this means taking a trip out of your comfort zone, don’t hesitate to get on board. As it goes, the future is coming into view and if you want to mold it into perfect form, it’ll mean adding a dose of the unknown right now.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’re not one that likes being part of the status quo, so don’t hesitate to bend your rules to avoid that fate now. As it so happens, you do have tricks up your sleeve and the more cleverly you can pull them out, the more you secure your victory. After all, you have to think of your peace of mind, and if you want any now, it’ll mean seizing the winning point on your redefined terms.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

A change of heart can happen out of the blue, making you wonder whom you’ve been sleeping next to. If this does happen, don’t beat yourself up or over analyze, because it’ll be one of those, “It is what it is” situation. People are freaks and there’s no accounting for mental stability, no matter how well they present themselves. Of course, if it’s you with a change of mind, take that insanity plea and run.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

High emotions may get to you more this week, but whatever, have that breakdown and be done with it. As it goes, once you purge, you’ll be in a better frame of mind to take the bull by its horns, as this week’s tiny little nuisances will creep up on you every time you aren’t looking, slowing you down and making you want to kill. Yeah, a normal week, but times 1000.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re going to have to learn to tell your baby when to shut up, because while they think they know what’s best for you and that their sage wisdom can save the day, it won’t. In fact, the more you let them ramble on and on, the more your concentration will get shot. So you know, yes, your tolerance for idiocracy this week will be very low.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You can’t be everyone’s best friend, so prepare to be the bearer of bad news. After all, honesty is the best policy and if you want to move ahead now, it’ll mean clearing your path of any rubble and the only way you can assure that is with your words. While it may not be pleasant, it will be necessary and ultimately, it is the right thing to do.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your hotness will radiate like a 1000-watt bulb, so don’t second guess yourself with anyone. If someone does throw you shade, realize it’s their intimidation and move on, as you must have no patience for the weary. Yes, this week is all about you and if you want what you want, it’ll mean knowing what you deserve without hesitation.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Everything you know might start to get shaky now, but it’s about trusting yourself to get through this mess. This means you won’t be pelted with situations steeped in insanity, but more like a psychological screwing of sorts. Either/or, now is the time when knowing where you want to go will matter the most, as your focus will be the most secure thing you can hold onto.

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