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For The Week Of November 9-15, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Be careful of all the things you admit to and whom you admit them to. Hidden motives will be among people close to you, which will create a minefield of distrust. Pay attention to your instincts, as they will guide you to safe shores. In time, those you can no longer trust will make themselves blaringly obvious.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Throwing money at the problem isn’t a bad thing, as long as those things you are flashing the cash for are l’objets des arts that will make you feel even more beautiful, appeasing the inner princess in you beyond. As it goes, this is your week to spoil yourself rotten and give yourself the love that others are just too stupid to show you without example.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Venus is officially in Scorpio, which means the ball will be completely in your court to pick and choose the plays you want. If this isn’t the case, then you aren’t looking at the facts hard enough. You’re hot stuff and there are men hungry to get a piece of you. Be cruel yet kind to make it worth your while, because sometimes wielding the power is sexy enough.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

To lure the worthy into your den, it’s time to start batting those eyelashes a bit more gently. Being anything other than evasive won’t work in scoring you the excitement you are craving. As it goes, this time around, it’ll be the part of the hunted rather than hunter that will truly satisfy your needs. However, don’t be scared to run faster to make them even crazier for you.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Yeah, friendship and sex have their separate places. While it works to be friends with someone you are having sex with, it is never simple to be having sex with a friend. Although, if ever there were a time to do the nasty with someone you are on good platonic terms with and to change the status of your relationship, it would be now.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

We all sleep with people for different reasons at various points in our lives, and life goes on. This week, when opportunities to get ahead might require a little more “muscle,” be careful! These crossroads will throw you into a tizzy with your morals, fantasies and ambitions — which one wins out only you can control.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Exotic adventures are the way to go to get your orgasm levels humming in a perfect harmony that could completely realign your chi. If you are heading abroad or having sex with someone culturally different than you, then consider yourself on the right track and enjoy yourself silly. If you are not doing either of those, then it is highly recommended that you try to do one of said options.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Let the skeletons out of the closet and let the chips fall where they may. No one is going to judge you as hard as you judge yourself. Take this chance by releasing what you feel so oppressed by, because at the end of the day, whoever is really going to love you the way you should be loved won’t give a crap about any of the dramas you create in your own head.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Do whatever your baby wants and call it a day. He’ll be brimming with all sorts of genius ideas, even if they seem a bit erratic at first. Put your faith in him and he’ll appreciate the show of confidence. In fact it might be so drastic, it might feel as if your old lazy lover has gotten a lobotomy and been reprogrammed to be all about you!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

To savor any meat worth its weight in gold, it’ll take some concerted effort in planning. No, this isn’t the sexiest suggestion in the world, as there is nothing that kills a buzz for you more than organizing. However, this isn’t just any time for you, and if you approach the details as foreplay, you might find a newer and more mentally invigorating way of getting off.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Embrace your feelings of vulnerability and realize it’s a good sign, as it means that someone currently turning you on is also really turning the screws of your psyche, affecting you deeply in ways you can’t even fully comprehend. Don’t talk yourself out of it, because it won’t work. While you can repress it temporarily, realize it will only grow back ten times stronger.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Having life honky-dory all day long is sweet, but that is not what makes you hot. Tension, personality clashes and challenges will be coming at you in droves, making you sweat under the collar. While there won’t be easy resolutions for your issues right now, who cares? The fact is that you will be feeling so fired up, any release you get will be that much more intense.

For The Week Of November 2-8, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Seems still waters do run deep, as circumstances that you didn’t think were really moving along will give you a jolt of surprise when confessions start to pour in and emotions you didn’t suspect were there are, in fact, there. This will turn you a bit topsy-turvy. Your instincts will kick into autopilot. Get ready for a cliffhanger kind of week.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Image matters to you. Not to say you are totally superficial, but you do believe the way someone holds him/herself is not just on the surface – you think what shines from the inside should be powerful enough to negate the flaws on the outside. Of course, these little tensions have a strange way of turning you on and, well, sometimes you have to dig deeper to find the beauty within.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

There will be a major moment of clarity when it comes to your feelings for that special someone and knowing what you are willing to lay on the line. Seems transformations are in store, and to get that ball rolling, fate will throw you a crazy oddball surprise – one that’ll assure you that your current state of affairs is truly on the up-and-up.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

End your boring routines this week. You know what works for you and what doesn’t. Trying to make any more excuses is directing your energy the wrong way. Be bold and be willing to start to make those changes that will effectively lay down the foundation to a lifestyle more your speed. If this means changing up the scenery altogether, do it for your libido.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You will be acting out in all sorts of ways that may make you unrecognizable to even yourself. Instead of going the loner route, trying to sort out crazy emotions that seem to erupt suddenly, ride it out. Hit the town and have fun with this new side of you. This will help you unleash pent-up emotions and teach you that being safe won’t get you laid.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll be in a more serious mindset, which will make you dive into an introspective mood. However, what you will discover is that emotions from the past are not as dead and buried as you thought. With nagging sentiment lurking about, be ready to dig deep into your psyche to sort through the mess. Yes, this is your week for the full exorcism that will finally set you free, once and for all.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Loosen up those lips and let the words pour out of your mouth. Realize your hopes and ideals are within arms’ reach and make the efforts to make that stretch. Although you do think the world should come to you, there is no time to be petty about who should do what and sticking to roles. Be progressive: your body will thank you for it.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Who cares how much pride you are going to have to fork over if it means your redemption? It’s never too late to win back something you’ve lost, especially if it’s holding you back from moving ahead. Yeah, groveling and backtracking are not your speed, but to show you care, humility will be as effective as Spanish Fly.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

As long as you can stand your ground and be pushy with your agenda, it’ll work wonders in the sexy bravado category. It will captivate your boo more intensely and get him to do as you say. If you’re single, don’t waste any of your mystique on lying around at home in your grubbies. Work it where you can and watch your love life take a turn into more exquisite territory.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

There is nothing wrong with living in fantasy land, but don’t think that you have to be the only one steering the wheels. Give that someone who has the imagination to keep up the chance to co-pilot the ride. While this will require you to give up some of your control freak tendencies, realize you’re not always the one with all the good ideas.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You can run and you can hide, but it’ll only buy you time. The inevitable is coming and there’s nothing you can do. The more you resist your emotions and the situation you’ve gotten yourself in, the more dismal other parts of your life will get, as your focus and anxiety levels will suffer. Get real with yourself and step up to the plate already — not everyone is out to burn you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Put your foot down and let him know where your boundaries lie. The nurturing route is sweet, but not everyone responds to the soft touch; obviously, by now you see he doesn’t. This time, it’s all about tough love and doling it out as you see fit. Besides, as you should know by now, breaking out the whip is your most effective method to getting want you want.

For The Week Of October 26-November 1, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You will feel suspicious this week. It seems as if your sweetie isn’t telling you everything. However, this could mean ruining a surprise that is meant to be fun. So, if you want to keep pushing for answers, do it, but at your own risk. Of course, if your nerves are telling you it’s not something delightful, then go ahead and burst the bubble.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Budget concerns will make you want to hide, but this is the time when you really can see how far and strong you can be as a team. Let out your innermost fears and wear your vulnerabilities on your sleeve. Let your boo sort out the dilemma and hear him out. If you put two heads together, it’ll most definitely ignite a genius plan and a few white-hot flames.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Don’t let anything hold you back if another can’t keep up with you. It’s not that you should be slowing down; they should be speeding up. As much compassion as you would like to have, there really isn’t any point because after time you will find that despite all the empathy you might have now, it will eventually turn into aggravation.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Digging back to your past is crucial to help you bridge the gap between your ideals and your reality. Somehow you always start off on the right foot, but after a while you can easily lose sight of your needs and think that it’ll all piece itself together nicely in the end. However, you should know better now. Moving into this week, don’t forget lessons you have already learned.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

When it comes to dealing with your baby, prepare for some frustration ahead. Although you may have his utmost loyalty, you will have to share him, as needy friends will be entering the picture and testing your patience. Although he will think he is being altruistic, you will think he’s being a sucker. This week will be about reconciling those differences.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll be in full-on workaholic mode, making you more focused on yourself than ever. This will give you just the right mindset to start thinking for the long-term and what you really want your life to be about. The legacy you leave begins now. This will be reflected in your love life too — you’ll decide which booty-call number to delete and which one to reconsider.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Take off into fantasyland ASAP! Let your mind go and don’t stop to think about repercussions. Life has its own agenda right now. As long as you are open and willing to play the game of blind faith, you will find there is more than enough exquisiteness to set your loins on fire for at least the next few weeks!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Let your sex kitten out of the cage. The only thing that is going to feel right this week is being bad. If you think this is going to intimidate others, let it. Don’t lie to yourself anymore, thinking you have to be softer on the sidelines to get what you are after, because the more power in your punch, the better the balls that get thrown back into your court.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You don’t have to have all the answers right now, but you do have to ask the right questions. When it comes to perfecting your love life to be a sleek machine of passion, devotion and inspiration, it’ll mean verbally dissecting what’s happening and knowing your options. However, don’t feel the need to be the whole equation, only half.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Keeping your head in the clouds is fantastic for the beginning stages of a relationship. But if you are several months in and you aren’t feeling as if there is a routine being established, then you have to wonder what is up and if you are getting all the facts straight. Are there valid reasons for why you are only getting half the picture? Time for more research.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Despite how uptight you may get over the thrilling love ride you are about to go on — because control will be taken out of your hands — if you are creative, you will find places to put your hands that will be exciting enough to quell your anxieties. Ignore the rules and forget the consequences: trust fate. If you do, life is about to turn a very interesting corner for you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Take some down time with your honey and slow it up. Pace yourself. This is the time to really dig deep into each other’s psyches and get to the heart of your emotions, relationship and dreams. Chances are this will go well and will result in intense bonding and hot sex. However, to get, you will have to give. Share the spotlight and you’ll see there is room for two.

For The Week Of October 19-25, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re going to have to let all those little annoying opinions and condescending comments slide, because if you don’t, it’ll drain you of more energy than it’s worth. It’s time to get a thicker skin. Don’t take things you hear so personally, as it’s just that time of the year where there will seem to be less sensitivity in regard to you. You just have to roll with the punches.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Chill out and examine the facts. You are under no obligation to make any fast decisions right now, so put everything on hold if you must. Time to focus your energy on building your esteem and getting back in control — and if this means spoiling yourself rotten with a new image and extravagance, then so be it. Even the stars are saying it’s time to splurge!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

All those crazy ideals you’ve had flashing in your head and visions you thought would never come to pass will start getting pieced together like a funky puzzle where you just know the bigger picture is even more grandiose than first imagined. Enjoy the views. This is a time you should savor every second, as it is the start of a legendary moment in your life.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your intuition will be so blaringly on point that you won’t be able to make any more excuses for people or situations you can’t accept as bad. Stop trying to fight it — your idealism won’t win. Bite the bullet now. This is your window of opportunity to escape as unscathed as possible. Otherwise, the cuts will only get deeper and more intense from here.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Bitter people will try to compete with you. If you give in to their jabs, you will only be asking for trouble, as your energy will get steered in the wrong direction, making you a bundle of nerves that won’t be giving off any enjoyable energy to make you f**kable to the outer world. So with that said, take full advantage of having your VM pick up all unwanted calls.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

If you focus on the lighter things in your life and keep sweeping the serious issues under the rug, it will give you all the insight you will eventually need to deal with those harder problems. Otherwise, trying to tackle it from such a hardcore state of mind will only wind up giving you migraines and an overriding feeling of guilt — AKA, no fun.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

As long as you say it, it will happen. Although it might not be exact to your order, trust the universe is working on your side and wanting to see your dreams happen. While you will get what you want, be patient: it’ll wind up even better. Until then, enjoy the ride.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Your sex drives amps up to insatiable levels, making you a fiend. Be discriminating with how you give it out, as all are not worthy. Besides, if you really want to get off right, it’ll require a man with a strong hand, the type that makes you want more without feeling desperate. Yes, sex, respect and hotness can be one and the same if you are prudent with picking the right player.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

As long as you can keep a sense of balance in your life and stick to boundaries with people who take more than they give, then you will be OK. This week, demands will intensify and you will have to maintain your balance with all your might. Although offers that come in will seem good initially, do take your time before signing on any dotted line.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

This won’t be an easy week for love, as you’ll have to put in some manual labor to help out your honey. Seems the mundane parts of the relationship will be taking precedence, which will slightly bore you. While you’ll rationalize that every relationship has its downs to balance out the ups, you do have to wonder how soon that feeling should occur. From there, it’s up to you.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

A sudden shift in your emotions happens later this week, throwing you into a panic and making you have to think fast to make up for the bonehead decisions you’ve already made. This will put you on the fast track to try and win back that missed opportunity. Not to say he is the answer to your dreams, but you will never know unless you really quell that curiosity.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You have all the world rooting you on; don’t screw it up! Give others something to write home about and prove yourself to be the sign of the romantic. Seems current ruts you will be thrown into will give you the perfect platform to create some drama and attention to act as the savior. Know this is also a test of your creativity. Play to win and show others how it’s done.

For The Week Of October 12-18, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Don’t even try to second-guess anyone’s motives. If you have to get to the bottom of the story, be direct and go for it. Otherwise, if you let your mind wander anymore, it will take you to the darkest and most dramatic conclusions, draining more life from you than necessary. Seriously, your neurosis is much deadlier than anything else that can harm you right now.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

If this week doesn’t have you feeling topsy-turvy with your emotions, then consider yourself lucky, as in having a solid life that is impenetrable from the universal forces that are sure to throw some major fireworks into your psyche, having you feeling the effect of decisions you’ve made more intensely and feeling as if you might have to break free from it all.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

There won’t be anything holding back your ego this week, as you’ll be hell-bent on reaching the top of the ladder you’ve been climbing. Whatever your ambitions, this is when you will get out-and-out ruthless, being driven by all the subconscious longings you’ve had lodged in your past that need rectification now. To say the least, world watch out!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Finally, it’ll feel as if fate is playing on your side again, as you’ll hear words you need to hear and get opportunities that appear fantastical. No, this isn’t the time when life will follow any rational plotline, but it will be better. Seems you will be in your element, as spontaneity brings more than a few surprises to really wrap your legs around.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

By the week’s end, just give into your libido and f**k your brains out. It’ll be the only thing to get you thinking properly again — it will align your chi. Otherwise, all work and no play could be your downfall, as the pressure gets more intense with money issues, power plays and determined frenemies looking to bring you down. You know it: Hop on top and don’t look back!

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

As long as you can think it is, it’s possible. Even if you only have a fantasy to hold on to, go with it. You have nothing to lose this week if you want to get lost in your head and see your love life with rose-colored glasses. If a miracle is going to happen, it might happen now, and thinking it is the only way to creating it.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

All those irritations that made you into a passive-aggressive mess lately are about to get flipped around, putting you into power lady mode and making you very aggressive with those who bug you. Seems this new direct approach will be more than just effective, but downright scary to those around you — which, no doubt, will please you beyond belief.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This week, a switch should be going off in your brain which will suddenly make you see how amazing, incredible, sexy, smart and perfect your baby is for you. Yes, let the groveling begin! Time to pull out all the romantic stops and fly free on the wings of love/lust. Give all that you can, because right about now is when fate says it’s time to pay the piper.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Time to redefine domestic bliss, as your nesting mode goes into overdrive. If you’re with someone, consider yourself booked. If you’re single, then expect to be extra focused on shacking up with someone to close the doors and throw out the key with — which means sharpening your bulls**t meter and passing on those with “potential” for those who are already flexing their might.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

As the queen of thinking fast on your feet, this is when your off-the-cuff monologues are going to step up to a whole new award-winning level. The things you will spew won’t only seem insane but fantastical, even to you. However, despite the traffic accident you think you’ll cause, it seems you don’t know it all and that learning something new is in your cards.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Time to put decisions into action and to really test your self-esteem. The strategizing session is over and implanting ideas needs to start now. If this means any last-minute battles with demons, you better be done with them by the 17th. After that, excuses won’t work and you’ll be completely on your own.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’re not the apologizing type and why should you be? If that someone can’t get who you are and how you operate and expects you to coddle him by lowering your own enthusiasm and strength, it’s time for him to think again. This time around, when it comes to discrepancies in relationship points of view, you should definitely stand your ground.

For The Week Of October 5-11, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Keep it cool when it comes to impressing that cute new someone this week. There is no reason you have to work at it. Besides, if you start the ball rolling now, you inevitably will go into your manic mode and wind up doing everything. Stop, think and stop. If you want to change those failed relationship patterns of your past, this is where it all starts. Let him come to you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Trying to stay polite in your speech is sweet and all, but you know you are currently feeling some rage, so let it out. Situations and people you’ve been making excuses for no longer deserve them. Get real with yourself; then get real with them. No one gets any pleasure from getting the short end of the stick, so turn it around and get the best.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Pay attention to your instincts. They’ll be in turbo alert mode for the next few weeks, saving you from tremendous aggravation. Promises made, confessions spilt, plans set — whatever the case, you’ll know if there is real sincerity and truth behind it all with the precision of a surgeon. What you do with it though, you’ll have to wait and see.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Get the coordinated outfits going and the mega watt smiles beaming, because it’s time to show off as an IT couple. Whatever the case, whether it’s a job function or a family thing, playing into a perception of how others want to see you will benefit you both financially down the line. If anything, think of it as a role-playing exercise.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Beware of s**t trickling down into your home life. Chances are big for stress to hit at the office and for you or your honey to be the other’s whipping post as a result. If this winds up being you, call it out when he misbehaves and ride the guilt out long and strong. If it is you, well, be ready with a sob story and to turn the situation around at a moment’s notice if he calls you on it.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Routines are fine if you are a gerbil; otherwise, time to break out of your comfort zone and realize there are more ways to get off than just one. If you don’t change this way about you now, you might wind up very sad and lonely, as the boredom and anxiety brewing in your bedroom may reach its tipping point soon.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Who cares who is going to judge you, if it means getting off? Feel free to spill your secrets and show that you are more than just a pretty face. The dirtier the fantasies, the more delicious your rewards — as it seems that someone who can properly fulfill all your demented little dreams is merely just a phone call away, if you want it that is.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You are going to have to put your ego aside and play fair. Dealing with your baby will seem a little harder, as you can expect he’ll be speaking up for himself a little more these days — but seems to be his bravado will turn you on just enough to dull the pain from having to lower yourself to his demands.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re superficial and you know it. Own it, love it and embrace it. Don’t make excuses for yourself because the moment that you do, that is when things will start to backfire on you. Be proud of all sides of who you are. Because if the person you are hanging with is right, they will see you as honest, not shallow.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Let the words fly out of your mouth, because if you run out of pure emotions, your diatribes will be way more effective and poignant than if you try to edit yourself and plan what you’re going to say in advance. Besides, by now, you should know that everything you do is way better if you are flying by the seat of your pants.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Consider yourself screwed. Seems the wild game of cat and mouse you’ve been playing had too many players involved – it’s all about to catch up with you. Best to own up to the naughtiness immediately and take it from there. Truth will be the only thing to set you free, but even so, it might only grant you a pardon. Whatever the case, consider this karma doing its thing.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

As long as you make whatever you want sound pretty, people will do as you say. And lucky you, influences will cause you to have poetry pouring from your mouth, so use it for good and share all those feelings, thoughts, plans and desires bottled inside that sweet little head of yours. The music coming from your mouth with be irresistible.

For The Week Of September 28-October 4, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Settle any debts — either monetary or emotional — and get your power back. Whatever circumstance has been making you feel insecure lately will be magically reversed, but only if you wish to see you are way above what has entrapped you. From here the future is open, beautiful and full of bright new opportunities!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Sublime forces are at work, settling your mind and body into a state of total relaxation and bliss by the week’s end. This will come in the form of utter apathy or finally getting all the pieces of the puzzle put in their proper place and realizing what a good thing you have. Either/or, expect that you’ll get all the insight you need to plan your next move.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

People who think you have all day have you all wrong. If they inherently aren’t getting the basic side of you, making you feel special in one form or another, realize they won’t ever. Real romance doesn’t mean working hard to prove yourself. If they don’t get the awesomeness that is you STAT, they aren’t for you, end of discussion.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Reality is about to shine its light upon your ego and show the enormity of importance that you live your life under. Not to say you shouldn’t think you’re that delightful, but consider that perhaps, maybe perhaps, your baby has got a point in how one-sided your points of view are. Time to take a good look in the mirror and start owning up to being a “we,” not just a “me.”

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Unfortunately, this is the week when your relationship isn’t just about you and your boo — but your families too. Whoever’s relatives are coming into the picture, yours or his, it won’t be pretty. Seems disaster will plague you, as drama, raucous opinions and just utterly bad behavior will be happening. How you both deal with this will be a true testament of your bond.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Put your feelings out there and let go. Free yourself of the shackle and chains in which you bear your emotions alone. Tear down the barriers; say what you want and how you want it. If all will work out, it will, but if you want action, it’ll mean taking responsibility for yourself and throwing the ball in their court. After all, it’s never going to work unless you’re both playing.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

A jolt to your long-term thinking is going to happen and sudden changes to your trajectory are in the stars. Don’t be surprised if you unexpectedly get sick of routines and the comfort zone you are in and crave a lot more excitement. Sure, this might just be a wild lost week or it could be a whole new way of life. Whichever, be open to anything!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Laying down the law means no more negotiating. As compassionate as you may be to hear another’s sob story, realize that a deadline is a deadline and once they have passed the time allotted, you have to stand on it as is. After all, if they can’t work at your speed, what kind of wavelength are they on? Do you really need to spend your precious time waiting? Think not.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Stop looking for excuses to bury your head in. Time to drop the rose-colored glasses and get back in the trenches. Just coasting along, thinking everything will fall into place isn’t going to happen. If it was going to, it would have already. Time for action and realizing you have to be the one to steer your destiny — as in picking a destination — instead of letting one pick you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

A hotheaded friend may explode at any given minute. Seems pent-up feelings about how you’re dealing with your current dalliances and their fascist opinions will clash this week. Although you’ll do whatever you want to do anyway, do realize the judgmental police are out and waiting for you to mess up. While this doesn’t sound nice, do consider they may have some insight.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Career woes are about to come to a close, freeing up your mind and self-esteem back to normal levels and giving you the ability to start acting out on your whims. Expect a wild surge of emotions to come flooding in and go with it. Consider this acting out of your subconscious to be the most emotionally truth-revealing experience you’ve had in ages.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Always being the cheerleader is a pain the ass and a fairly thankless job if you aren’t rooting for the right team. This week, put down those pompoms and see what happens when you aren’t the one valiantly supporting relationship matters at hand. After all, it takes two. If you aren’t feeling the same enthusiasm back, this is the time to deal with it.

For The Week Of September 21-27, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Make your man work it and love it. There’s no reason you always have to be the one working it in bed, as that isn’t going to give your mind something to truly get lost in during those long hours when you are all alone and need that grand romantic fantasy to get inspired. After all, what else will drive you to get your eager beaver back in the saddle over and over again?

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your patience is starting to wear thin and this is when you’ll be starting to get restless. As the places you think you should be are not aligning with the places you are in, you’re going to have to get brave to get your trajectory back on track. As of now, this is not the time to be wasting your energy on waiting.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your standards aren’t easy. The fact that you think that the ultimate prize you’re after should get handed to you on a platinum platter is hysterical. You know you would feel suspicious if it occurred miraculously, since it’s the drama, the struggle and romance that make you thrive. If it’s not a page turner, drop it.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

There will be a lot of things motivating you this week. Among them won’t be a sweet love affair that’ll take you into the winds of oblivion. Instead, drama may unfold at the office, as in a flirtation with someone that could make for a potentially messy situation. Of course, trouble has always been something that excites a girl like you. So, sure, get blown away!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Every time you sabotage yourself with some kind of reality-based comments that have you thinking in a purely linear way, smack yourself! Life is the product of your thoughts and ambitions. If you aren’t willing to see past the glass ceiling, then only you will be to blame. Options are there. Choose wisely.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Time to pick up the pace and forge a deeper intellectual connection with whomever you have on the speed dial. Just joking around and being all cutesy is fun, but it’s not giving you the juice you need to really feel the love. Brains matter. There is no reason you can’t break out those MENSA questions at will. Until you have Einstein on your reel, keep fishing.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you are going to sign on the dotted line, this is the perfect time to do it. Love and commitment are in your stars this week, as you will be feeling the peace of mind it takes to figure out what exactly it will take to make you happy and be in it to win it. Go ahead — work it out with your baby and let the love shine in, because it’s all there for the taking.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Timing is everything. If you find you and your object of desire aren’t synching up so well in the scheduling department, then this is the time you really will have to see how much you want it and how much time you are willing to sacrifice to make it happen. Of course, if this isn’t a two-way street and he’s if he isn’t making the first move, don’t even bother turning on your ignition.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You won’t have any self-control when it comes to lust this week, nor should you have to hold back. Your tastes will be sublime and there is no reason you can’t taste the fruits of your desire. After all, why dwell on the consequences when painting in the whole picture will take time? In fact, the slower the burn, the hotter the sensations.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Turn up the charm and make them worship you. This is your time of the year to let love affairs get out of hand. Seems you have powers beyond even your comprehension that will lure them exactly where you want them. So if you want to make it matter, don’t waste it on just anyone. Aim your target accordingly and you will surely capture yourself a bountiful feast.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can feel your way through another flirtation that seems to have potential. This time around, you’ll need backup. It’s time to really be clear with yourself about what you are after — and go with it! The less you leave to the imagination, the more real it will be. At this stage in your game, it’s time to learn that honesty and directness have their good points.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

According to researchers, a man shows how much he cares with time and money. This week keep this in mind: If you don’t have both in spades, it’s time to negotiate with yourself what he is worth to you. Patience is great, but not if it is costing you valuable time and self-esteem. Look at the cold hard facts — they don’t lie.

For The Week Of September 14-20, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

A new leaf will turn for you once you decide to change a dirty habit. It will uncover a state of bliss that you haven’t felt for ages, making you feel invincible and ready to take charge. This isn’t the time to take “no” from anyone — least of all, yourself. Remember this and you will have the dandiest week ever.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Ask a close friend if you have been making too many excuses for that special someone or if that someone is making too many concessions for you. If you find that there is an imbalance in the union from an objective point of view, then take that as fact and sort out the rest of the data on the table to see exactly how it adds up. Your conclusions should be riveting.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Forget that naughty side to you and saddle up with a PG version of yourself, as you should be placing an emphasis on the friendship developing in your current love tryst. The less pressure you put on the more intense areas of the “getting to know you” phase, the more you get that relationships are supposed to be fun — your crucial lesson for this week.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Just when you thought you were old enough to rise above the peer pressure, in comes a deluge of voices that confuse you and make you want to scream. Go ahead: do it! As that might be the only way for you to stop from falling into the pit of popular opinion, and the only way to get you to listen to yourself and see that you have to set your own standards.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Free your imagination. There’s nothing holding you back, other than you and the reasoning you subscribe to. Time to switch up your attitude and realize the impossible is possible — but without your belief in it, you will only be stuck in a bitter rut that’ll keep you as your own worst enemy. If that sounds acceptable to you, proceed as you have been. Otherwise, it’s time to change.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

The sexual tension gets explosive this week. All your awkwardness comes to a head, as the chemicals in your brain won’t be reacting in a way you’re used to and this can lead to a few embarrassing moments. Thankfully, if you’re barking up the right tree, whoever is watching your antics will find these moments of utter gracelessness endearing, rather than humiliating.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Sign your booty over on the dotted line. This is the time when love should start coming together in a sweet little package, giving you a sense of direction and comfort. If you’re single, time to set your intentions out there by rationally scouring your mind for what is your realistic ideal. It’s time to sharpen your aim. A good eye will get you everywhere.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

With your libido lagging these days, the one way to pump it back is to pump it up. Revive yourself by jumpstarting a new fitness routine, getting all your annual doctor appointments out of the way and dealing with all those physical aspects of yourself that will lead you back on the road to being a peak performer.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Sitting on the fence is not going to win you any favors. If you want it, you got to be in it to win it. Enough with thinking things have to play out in a certain fashion for it to be right! You’re the writer of your own story. If you want it to be a legendary masterpiece, it’ll mean laying yourself on the line and thickening the plot.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

For a gal like you, it’s not just the things you commonly love with a dude that’ll cozy you up to him, but also the things you hate. This week they’ll be nothing more invigorating than showing off your bad attitude to that special curmudgeonly someone. Seems being able to bitch together will be one of the most romantic things you can do to nab the heart of your intended.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You can’t trip over your words this week. If you want something, you are going to have to be clear — as in starting the facts, sticking to direct eye contact and being cognizant of relaying your emotions obviously. This isn’t the time to see if anyone is a mind reader. Reach out and make yourself known; the universe is listening.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Money, luxury and comfort will open up to you at a new level, letting you relax for a few. Take in the rewards of work well done. The issue now is not to get complacent. While you are cruising along swimmingly, don’t forget to keep your eye over the horizon, as that will be the only way you will be able to maintain.

For The Week Of September 7-13, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

All the answers you want about your current love relationship are in how you both deal with your joint finances. Consider money the metaphor for your bond. If this means taking off the rose-colored glasses to see that things will only go so far, in terms of sharing or potential, then you will have to be braver than ever to face the music. Accept that your ideal lifestyle is non-negotiable.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Don’t get too detailed about feelings or plans with your honey or whomever you’re shacking up with these days, because your mind will be wandering erratically from emotion to emotion. There won’t be any accounting for what you truly want right now, as you won’t be able to see cause and effect clearly. Until you can, don’t commit to anything.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

The past is coming back to haunt you. What you thought was something you let die will spring back alive and prove to be way more intriguing than you ever thought. Instead of trying to poo poo all the outcomes, let loose the control and just go with it. You have nothing to lose! If it all goes in the crapper anyway, you can then say, “I knew it.”

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Forget your friends. They’ll be aggravating the hell out of you. Sure, they want to be helpful and give you advice, but unless you’re asking for it, they really have no right and that gives you complete clearance to tell them to “Shut the f**k up!” If there are going to be voices in your head, they better be your own. Because when it comes down to it, you will have the right answers.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

All the drama you indulge in, and which brings out your self-sabotaging behaviors, gets a reprieve. Expect an epiphany that’ll start to clear the cobwebs that keep you from seeing your own capabilities. However, realize this won’t put you on easy street right away, as this only marks the beginning of a new journey — but at least this is a voyage in which you know your destination.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You know who the flakes are in your life. Though, you are the only one to blame if you allow them to let you down once again. Enough is enough. Your idealism is only going to get you so far; you are procrastinating on the obvious. Time to accept that maybe you are your own worst enemy and realize that the truth can hurt, but it will hurt less if you stop trying to deny it.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you’re a swinging single, be careful whom you hook up with this week. Chances of lasting repercussions that will have you wanting to borax your vagina out the next day are high — as in when the sun comes up, it’ll reveal disturbing annoyances that’ll repulse. Of course, you’re never one to resist dancing with the devil, so at least make sure the protection is steady and strong.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Old issues die hard and that’s why you and your baby will be having a deja vu in terms of tension and arguments. Seems an inherent crack in your relationship’s foundation is not as patched-up as you thought. However, instead of thinking you can change the other person, get real with yourself and make choices on what you can and can’t live with.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Love foibles will be making your life more like a comedy every day, but as long as you keep a sense of humor and level head about you, the mishaps will make your romance even that much more memorable — as it’ll be those little flaws that will endear you the most and show you the real character behind your latest catch.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your legendary fickleness will be making its grand appearance, as you won’t be feeling the love as much. The only exception is if you have hooked up with someone from your past. Otherwise, whoever has been in the picture will no longer seem to cut it, as your mind will start wandering down memory lane and have you realizing standards you once had aren’t so easy to forget.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your serious attitude towards relationships will start to ease up and finally you will realize that having fun isn’t such an awful fate. Give a little and you will get a lot. However, give a lot and you will get it all. Just don’t be stuck to your stubborn ways for too long and sit on the fence trying to decide; act and you will receive.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You will hear everything you want to hear, but the problem is that you will have this nagging feeling that you won’t be able to rely on it. What to believe? Honey, always trust yourself. Sycophants will be all around and, if you allow them to, they will ruin your day with their kiss-ass lies. Action is the only currency you can bank on this week, not words.

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