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For The Week Of January 4-10, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

There’ll be a feeling of destiny taking over your life, which will mean magical coincidences will be unraveling right before your eyes and effortless changes will make your life totally creamy and dreamy. Yes, big shifts are under way, and as it goes, your life today won’t be quite the same tomorrow. So, savor these moments now, because a major adventure is about to begin.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Decision time is coming, as the honeymoon phase ends and reality sets in, making you really see what chips you have on the table and what you are willing to gamble. While you’ve made up your mind by gut before, this time around prudence is welcome. Even if you do make your conclusions abruptly, at the least you should respect your situation enough to be thorough.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

There is nothing wrong with slowing down your pace, taking in the moment and being a bit old-fashioned. The fact is, sharing ideas and building mental bonds is what turns you on the most right now, but you will only get to the meat of this intellectual bonanza if you stop thinking you have to keep running a five-ring circus.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

This week, you’ll be more fired up to flaunt yourself. You’ll really feel as if you’ve got it and others want to see it. Yes, your confidence will be riding high and it’ll make you one hot commodity, so don’t be silly and waste those talents on just anyone. Know that some discrimination now will go a long way, in your heart and, more importantly, in your body.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

It’s the New Year and your birthday month, so chances are you’re still coming down from the festive frenzy — but it’s not like you need excuses anyway. This is the time of year that if it isn’t crazy, then something is wrong. If you have to get bitchy and bossy, feel free. After all, someone needs to take a leadership role, might as well be the smartest one of the bunch — you.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

As you step further in this New Year, you are going to have to be clearer and more forceful in your actions and expressing what you think is special enough to bring along and what is just wrong to haul along any further. As the repressions of the holidays have painted a thorough picture for you, time to open those eyes wide and really see what is true love or true lies.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Work on curbing your horniness for just a few and take a time-out to reconnect with your baby in a PG kind of way. This means having fun with your clothes on and enjoying the companionship side of your bond. If possible, to keep it chill, plan more activities with friends, because as it goes, building your social world together now will be the best foreplay you can ask for.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You won’t be able to fight your fame this week, so give it up. Go with the flow and take each day as it comes, as the demands for your time won’t give you space to plan anything for you. The good news is that all this fanfare will make you feel hot and sexy; the bad news is it won’t give you time to indulge in the groupies immediately — but that doesn’t mean you can’t take numbers.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re going to have to keep a sense of humor this week, if you want to get any. Seems that someone will be acting on a much flakier level than usual and his excuses will seem too fantastical to be real, but forget taking anything too personally this week, or it’ll be just too lonely to bear. Realize this isn’t desperation either, but just the way it has to be right now.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Don’t let your imagination get away with itself, because this isn’t the week where anything obvious is going to happen and it’ll leave much room for interpretation — but don’t lose your mind over it either, because the truth may just be that boring. If anything, this is your time to whip out the compassion, as there will be much dullness in the air.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

No matter how far your confidence nosedives at times or what kooky story you try to convince yourself of, realize your life and your relationship are A-OK. In fact, love won’t be getting better than it will this week, as you realize you’ve been going along at cruise control and feeling normal all the while. Love it, because the bottom won’t be falling out.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You can talk and talk, but it’s like he just can’t get you. To say the least, frustration is coming and it’ll seem as if the red tape is going to dampen your love buzz, as his conservative values clash with yours. Whatever. Go ahead, throw your tantrums. At the least, that’ll be one way you can entertain yourself amid the surrounding deadbeat energy.

Mercury Retrograde Survival Guide

Has your life gone haywire in the last week? Communications amiss? People from the past randomly showing up? Feel like you might be losing your mind, as no one you know seems to make any sense to you any more? Fret not, it’s not you: It’s the universe! Yes, blame the cosmos, as Mercury, the planet of communication, halts and appears to go backwards, causing all sorts of chaos on mankind.

Frightfully, this bizarre phenomenon happens three times a year and, fortunately, this will be the last time in ’09. It officially began at 2:39 pm UT (Universal Time) on Saturday, Dec. 26 and lasts until Jan. 15, though the effects can be felt up until Feb. 4. What does this mean? In general, it means a period of pandemonium for all things regarding communication. That’s right, forget trying to make any major decisions — and definitely don’t sign any contracts (unless the deal comes from someone in the past or it is renewing), back up your software, expect problems with travel and don’t rely on any of the information you get at this time. Keep reading »

For The Week Of December 28, 2009-January 3, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

In your heart and mind there is love. Remember this as circumstances won’t go as planned, and the new twists and turns give your love story even more character than imagined. This will be a true test of your bond with your boo and how you two work together as a team, as you’ll have to take a detour route … Oh, how more sickeningly sweet you two will become.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Ego battles will take front-and-center and could lead you to a standstill with your baby. You’ll both be acting out passive-aggressively and using others as your pawns to get what you want. However, chances are this plan will backfire — others won’t share the priorities you set as intensely. If ever there were a time for a bit more of a sense of humor, it’s this week.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

A big dose of reality is coming for you, making your new year start with a major bang. Seems big news is coming and this could unfurl a whole other path you didn’t expect to take. However, don’t let your imagination run away with you, because chances are you won’t be able to guess this surprise until it happens and when it does, fireworks!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

A weird case of paranoia will strike, making you doubt choices you want to make — but screw it and throw caution to the wind! Playing it safe has never been your style. Sure, you can be smart, but don’t be a prude. Do what feels good, but just be aware of where to draw limits, and throw in just a touch of prudence to your plans.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You better know what you want going into this week, because you are set to start a crazy emotional roller coaster ride that will pit circumstance against sentiment, and life as you know it will get super dramatic. The only thing you should know is to trust your gut. Where you will be this week won’t be too foreign, as you’ve always known on some level this existed.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

The stroke of midnight will signify a lot more endings to you than just the prior year. For you, it’ll mark a significant step into a future that relinquishes you from past traumas for good. This is your cycle to set to your liking and the earlier you can begin it, the better. Your independence is your strongest asset now and one you should not think of as lightly anymore.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Having different levels of respect for romantic relationships and friendships is wrong. Respect is respect and if you are not getting it properly, no matter what kind of bond you have, it’s unacceptable. Ask yourself if your honey is acting the way you’d expect your BFF to act. Chances are the answer is no; for that reason, it’s time to recalibrate your brain to redefine better boundaries.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

As an Aries, you have a fab way of just switching gears and taking care of yourself in dire situations, as your survivor instincts are sharper than most. This week, with so many shifts and flakes to deal with, expect to hone your abilities even more, as you’ll have to be the brains behind many of the activities you take — many of which weren’t even your idea to begin with.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re going to have to remind yourself of the bigger picture, as the emotional turmoil and communication mishaps happening at the zero hour will have you wondering why you give so much credit to the wrong people. Dealing with hopes and fears isn’t the sweetest way to end your year, but at the least, you’ll know what you are up against going into 2010.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

If it’s any consolation, there will be lots of rough energies in the air, making it hard for anyone to make this week as grand as it usually tends to be. So, as you tiptoe through your days, keep this in mind: your energy will be dipping into dangerously low levels and your need to judge everyone will be on. Oh well, sometimes one just has to swallow a little bitterness to taste some sweet.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

This is going to be a major win or lose time in terms of your relationship. If things have been hunky-dory, then expect the next turn to be one that will light up your life in magical ways. If things have been sketchy, then expect something to give. Whichever extreme you’re on, expect a few more weeks to fully land back on your feet.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Time to play the mindful observer, as all you’ll need to know is just waiting to happen. If you get a good seat now to watch the show, you’ll find that the thoughts and feelings provoked from this experience will be eye-opening. There will be more than a few new sides to that special someone that’ll have you reexamining what you want from them — which can be good or bad.

For The Week Of December 21-27, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll be on top of the world, as true love and mutual feelings light up your life. However, don’t turn this into fuel to burn others, as bragging isn’t going to do you any favors. This feeling of bliss should be making you rise above rather than pouring salt over frenemies’ wounds. If you do find yourself using your emotions as a weapon, it’s time to reconsider your motives.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’ll find solace in someone you least expect, as you and your honey won’t be seeing eye-to-eye on much and creating havoc everywhere you go. Just as you’ll feel as if you are totally alone, compassion will arrive, giving you the insight you need to see past the agony and help make all things right for there to be a happy Christmas for all.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

It’s not what that someone says that will matter now. It’ll be his actions that will give you all the information you need to know. Yes, as it goes, the pressure of the holidays makes people dumb and words sometimes can escape. But oh well, not all that you desire can come to you on a silver platter, so be thankful for the little things — they’ll be far more powerful than talk.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Travel plans hit snags, making you think your happy holidays will get obliterated, but surprise, surprise, your honey finds a way to save the day, reinforcing why you love him so. However, if you’re single, snafus will wind up playing fate into your hands in the most bizarre ways, landing you in a place where things heat up fast and redefining “chestnuts roasting over an open fire.”

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Don’t blame the holidays for the insanity you’ll feel, because the universe will be hitting the stall button right as you’re on the precipice of a major enlightening event. Expect plans to hits snags, dirty secrets to pop out and gossip to run amok. Sure, the holidays are always messy, but you will take the prize for the most tales to tell. At the least, marvelous presents should compensate.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Your honey is going to be turning into a major passive-aggressive freak in T-minus zero minutes and there’s nothing you can do about it. Insanity will spew from his mouth; deciphering any remnants of logic will be impossible. While this might be temporary, it doesn’t mean you have to coddle this behavior. Instead, make sure all your drinks this season are doubles and bottoms up!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Not all friendships are the same caliber. The ones that are true gold will be more than apparent, as the one that’s total crap will practically drive you to murder. This “friend” will start mouthing off in the wrong way, trying to interfere with your bliss and turn this season inside out. Luckily, you’ll have the decorum to acknowledge this person’s behavior discreetly and to dispose of her/him immediately.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll be hot and cold when it comes to love. On one hand, there’ll be many things that will make you grateful for your boo, but then on the other, you’ll see how short he falls in many other categories. Solution: make the most of the social invites. Not everything can be perfect all the time, but with beer goggles you’ll at least numb yourself from turning into a total psycho.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Who cares what delusions you’ll have to convince yourself of, because, as you know, the drill of the holidays is that family is always a bit over the top and that your love life is what it is — the more low key you can make it, the better you will be for it. ‘Tis the season for you to turn the other cheek and let bygones by bygones; if you can do this, next week will be all yours.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

If you’ve said all that you want to say, then you will be doing OK. However, what other people admit to you may make your eyeballs pop out of your head and have you doing a double take on their character. Thankfully, their actions should be more comical than conniving. However, if you are withholding secrets, expect the guilt to finally eat you alive this week and for guts to spill.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You can’t fight the system now, so you might as well just fall in line and take what you can, as this isn’t the time to make a fuss with anyone — least of all your honey. Best to lay low and keep that sense of humor intact, because if you think too deeply on anything, you’ll be asking for a big ole heaping spoonful of depression and confusion. Accept love is stupid and keep on keeping on.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your motivation will be dropping at fast levels and you will have not much interest in other people’s festivities. However, going through the motions won’t kill you. If you can manage to do the least, you will come out alive and can give yourself a big ole pat on the back for being so selfless, because as it goes, this week won’t feel as if it has anything to do with you.

For The Week Of December 14-20, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

No one said love was going to be easy, so prepare, as it seems all those logistics of the day-to-day will be what will makes you the most insane right now. Sure, you want to accommodate everyone, including your families, but it seems not everyone will be able to fit into your plans. If you have to choose what to compromise, don’t make it yourself.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Get ready to enter one of those phases with your baby where learning what ever is old is new again — or if you’re in a new relationship, having that time where uncovering all the details of each other’s life is like turning the page in one of the best books you have ever read. Yes, obsession takes a more substantial turn, so live it up and get ready to swoon!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Make luxury a part of your life, as you need to set new themes in your psyche that have you reinstating who the true Queen is in your life. Yes, splurge senselessly if you must, as in whatever it takes to shake you into knowing you are at your best in decadence. After all, if you can’t set the example, who will? Don’t leave the important things up to fate. Take control now!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Breathe a sigh of relief, as answers to a few of your most dire dilemmas will come into sight, giving you flashes of genius and a goal in mind. To drive it to the highest heights though, work your sexiness and charisma to the umpteenth degree and cheerlead the excitement that is you, as you are the sole person to truly ignite the sparks for maximum heat.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’re not one for public displays of drama, but sometimes to really emphasize what you are feeling, you’re going to have to take the center stage on a bigger platform and plead your case. Sympathy is out there. When given that compassionate shoulder you need to cry on, you can also get the insight to know what is truly right and what is straight-up unacceptable.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Just when you thought this holiday season was going to suck hard, a close friend will open up an opportunity that will have you seeing your life and prospects completely differently. Be willing to let go of preconceived notions fast and jump into a new direction STAT. The quicker you can make decisions now, the higher your chances are to get something truly dynamic to hold on to.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Be aware that all eyes are on you. If you’re into voyeurism, you’ll be one happy camper, as this is your time to titillate as you see fit. However, if you’re not that kind of Pisces, then take cover. Because if you try to express anything important, that someone whom you’re relaying these feelings to won’t be listening in the way you want, and grave misunderstandings may occur.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Leave all your troubles behind, because ridiculousness needs to be your theme. Yes, forget responsibilities, as they aren’t going anywhere anyway. Zone out into la la land. If possible, take a trip. If you can’t, start planning one. Escape is your drug right now and the universe is asking you to swallow a handful, as that is the only way to revive yourself back to being at your best.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

If you find yourself having surreal experiences of the truly whack kind, consider yourself on track with the cosmos. Yes, freaky times are in your stars, and whatever way they come to pass, it’ll put you on a definitive path that’ll heighten your sexual prowess to animalistic levels — even you will be wondering what the hell is going on, but in a totally fab way.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Communication is key in your negotiations this week. But rest assured that if you persevere properly, peace of mind will occur. This will mean being painfully honest in a way you’ve never been before, as in no sugar-coating or projecting coolness to divert your raw emotions. As it stands, the agreement made will only be as good as your argument, so be clear and courageous.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your intense emotions don’t always make romance run smoothly, so keep this in mind, as you’ll have to compromise and deal with life and love in a different way. Seems that this week you will have to chalk something up for the team and put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Don’t worry; it’ll buy you passage to where you want to be, albeit through a roundabout route.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Screw convention. Now is the time to do what your heart desires — the more extreme and original, the more positive the response you will get. Time to show off your innovation, as if it were an art form. Otherwise, the boredom you will suffer from traveling on the beaten path will not only break you down but your audience too. Do you want bad reviews? No!!!!

For The Week Of December 7-13, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Spill your guts on every single feeling you have about that someone, because, believe it or not, he needs the reassurance more than you. Who could have ever thought there would be someone more analytical than you, but you seem to have connected. Now is time to enjoy having the ball in your court fully and freely.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

One way you know the holiday season is in full swing is when your aggravation levels turn red when dealing with your opinionated family. However, this year, as they pull their same ridiculous stunts, you’ll be able to counteract them with your new and realized self that cares a lot less. Finally, something fun to open up during the holidays — your latest can of worms.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Sit back and let the magic unfold. Comfort is the key to knowing if you’re in the right place, as things will flow forward naturally if meant to be. Otherwise, if you break out your control freak now, it’ll only mess up the vibe and blur you from truly gauging the equality factor of your latest tryst. Yes, to win this round, you’re just going to have to let it ride.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

With your brain going at a turtle’s pace and your heart racing at the speed of lightening, you are going to have to pick a side and stick with it. Nothing about this week is going to be too sweet, as there will be way too many confusing options to choose from. Think of it like being a kid in a candy shop, but with a few sour balls in the mix.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

To exert your power you are going to have to throw some cash at the problem. This can be any way you see fit. If this latest funk requires a splurge for a cure, then go for it. If it means hiring a hit man, then go for that too. Whatever the case, you are the boss and you have the power: enforce it. It’s the only way to get to the other side.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Exorcizing your brain of the past will be your number-one priority, as you’ll reach a dead end and accept there are no more ways to reconcile what has happened. Luckily, once you are decisive about it all, a total 180 will happen, finally making your future wide open with possibilities. So, prepare to do some daydreaming, as setting new aims turns into your new obsession.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Being diplomatic doesn’t mean doing whatever you’re told. Bullying tactics aren’t kind and if you want to end this mess, it’ll mean time to take a stance and mean it. No more being indecisive, thinking fate will unravel its bigger plan on you, as others call your shots. No, this time around, it’s all you and what you say will be the new law.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

There is a reason you were born first in the zodiac, and it’s because you seem to be able to get a clue a lot faster than most and can point to the plan of action with military precision at any moment’s notice. When others don’t get this power of yours, they only screw over themselves. So, do take control, but don’t let those who jump ship bother you. You’ll get the last laugh soon enough.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Set plans in motion with your baby and get on the same idealistic page. No more sitting around, making excuses, putting everyone else ahead of you and just being flat-out bored. This is time to start switching gears in your mind and turning hopes into more than just ideas. Take a spontaneous leap of faith now; it’ll be the best present you’ll get EVER!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Pay attention to the subtle word choices people use with you this week, because not all is sunshine and roses. Go ahead and dig for more answers, because what you find out will only be to your benefit. Not to say another is trying to screw with your mind, but he just can’t seem to bolster the esteem to say what he’s really thinking.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Let logic rule. Things that should be in your life will be blaringly obvious. Otherwise, know that if you’re spending too much time rationalizing situations that don’t add up, you’re seriously barking up the wrong tree and deepening the agony you’ll inevitably face. Besides, the other incentive to a clean break now is that by month’s end a new cycle of possibilities will begin.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

While the beginning of the week will start with you feeling as if you’re floating on air, by the end you’ll have another attitude. Yes, you can chalk this up to moodiness, but whatever the case there will be a major turnaround in your emotions and some drama to endure. However, this is all a day in your life and nothing will be altogether too shocking — at least for you.

For The Week Of November 30-December 6, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Who cares what happens behind closed doors? Let go of judgments and dare to give into your curiosities. This is your time to free yourself from the rules you’ve placed on yourself and explore the possibilities. No one is asking for more than you can give, so be kind to yourself and dip your toes into the unknown. Besides, it’s those naughty little secrets that’ll turn another on the most.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You won’t win if you keep comparing yourself to everyone around you. Plus, you won’t be able to be objective right now anyway, as you’ve been too busy blowing up the image of others around you. Instead of beating yourself up, trust that you have a good thing and where you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be — but if you don’t start setting sights higher, you will get left behind.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Drama and love don’t have to go hand-in-hand. While some obstacles are unavoidable, be prudent with what you are buying as excuses. Sure, it takes work to be in a relationship, but sacrificing your pride and testing your patience don’t qualify as such. Draw the line between abuse and understanding and get a leg up on your love life immediately.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Let your idealism run away with you and expect more than you imagined. The only way to get what you want in life is to aim high. If you keep short-changing yourself, thinking no one can give you that fantasy, then you might as well throw in the towel. But this week, things are going to change; though, you must set the target with a vision for all to come into your line of fire.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Think back to the vivid dreams you’ve had or pay attention to the ones you’ll have this week, because as it goes, your psychic powers will be in sharp form and could reveal one of the hidden mysteries that have kept you wondering. To make the most of it and to be your own psychic hotline, before you go to bed, focus on your dilemma of choice and then dream away the answers.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

A new hope is around the corner, so don’t give up yet. Chances are a twist in your current love story line is about to happen, throwing you in a maddening passion that will have you exploring all sorts of extremes you never thought you would. Seems the magic of love or the very strong power of lust will be taking you far out of your comfort zone.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Give those jealous haters their day now and let them think what you want. Don’t you worry, darling — you will get the last laugh! Be patient with what fate deals you now, as the cards in your current hand might not be so great, but they’re helping you perfect your game and problem-solve. When it comes down to it, you’re the one risking the most – and you’ll be the one to win it all.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Keep your momentum up by putting yourself out there and showing off your stuff. Even if you’re attached, working your flirt muscles will do wonders for your esteem, as it’ll give you the heat to come back home and reignite things the way you once thought they should be but got too lazy to maintain. If single, be obvious — it’s the only way to feel the burn.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Scrap all that you know. Work from the gut instead. Spontaneity and feeling the moment are your friends now, opening you up to opportunities you never knew existed. Throw caution to the wind and take the consequences as they come. Not to say this will bring you all the riches you desire, but it’ll change up your point of view enough to see that new possibilities are out there.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You can’t fight magic when it happens, so don’t even try to talk yourself out of a invite that comes this week, as this leap of faith will be what opens your eyes to a whole new way of looking at someone who’s been in your life. Take a risk, no matter what others are saying, and prove them wrong — this is your week to do all the things you love in a truly shocking style.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Intimacy doesn’t always happen the way you envision and the longer you hold on to the way you think things should be, as opposed to how the actually are, you will lose out. Yes, time to scrap your stubbornness, as it will be your downfall. Time to loosen up the reins and give yourself some slack. Besides, hasn’t that old ideal of perfection you’ve held on to let you down enough?

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

There are many sides to your affections and revealing them all can be quite a shock to another’s system. But if you have the right catch on the hook, opening up will stimulate him to reveal all his secrets, which will play quite nicely into making the next step of your courtship even more intriguingly dangerous and devilish.

For The Week Of November 23-29, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

A little tension can go a long way, if it’s twisted and turned properly. This week, when you and your baby reach a boiling point on a heated topic, it’ll have you thinking he’s a total twit, however, a completely hot twit. His passion and dedication will cast an aura of manliness you’ve never quite witnessed before … seems cause and effect won’t be quite so linear this week.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your prim and proper image won’t get you far, unless you are willing to show off your dirty dog underneath your white-glove etiquette. Send those dirty texts, those libidinous pictures and a few naughty presents, revealing that side to you that normally would only come out behind close doors. Showing off your sense of humor about sex now is your biggest turn-on and power play.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Remember, you’ve been screwed over enough times when someone has pitched love on an installment plan. The truth is the debt never gets paid and you are typically left with an overly idealistic hope for a miracle to save the day — giving more to compensate and wasting precious time all the while. Sure, it’d be beautiful if it ever worked out, but most of the time it doesn’t.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You have nothing to lose when it comes to playing the game of love. No matter how crazy you want to be, as long as you set the pace in the way you want, you will get that someone to follow. However, be fair when setting the speed, because as it goes, some people do need to build up their momentum to be able to keep up with you.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

There is a fine line between being compassionate and being a sucker. If you wish to not fall prey to the latter, then you will have to toughen up your skin and realize that being stubborn isn’t rude or wrong, but just a fact of relationships, and the only way you will really be able to even the playing field. Not to say it’s about winning; it’s about truly being happy.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Information will be coming at you so fast and often that you won’t even have time to process it all. While it may feel good to go with the flow and make decisions at this pace, don’t. There is way more than meets the eye with this bout of instant gratification and, while you’ll want to say “yes,” understand reading the fine print won’t make you a buzz kill; it’ll make you one smart cookie.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Bolster your class and refinement, as a slew of bitchiness is coming your way from haters who can’t comprehend your congeniality or power. Keep your head held high, because you are in the right here to dole out the slicker condescension and to turn the moment out. Plus, it’ll be in your coldness that you will attract the hotter prospects too, ultimately sending those wenches down.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You never know where you will wind up day-to-day, and that is a beautiful thing. Go with the opportunities that pop up, even if some aren’t as pretty as you’d like. Taking one chance will lead you to another, and link you into a series of divine magic and messes that will make your life a living piece of art.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Intimacy is something you know how to do right, so don’t give up now when your boo needs you the most. When it comes to asking, he isn’t the best. While you don’t like having to revert to the “mommy” role, this time you’ll find your nurturing ways are like gold in his eyes. So help him make that leap of faith — the one who’ll ultimately reap the rewards is you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Live and laugh, and love whomever you want! This isn’t the time to get too concerned with boundaries and negotiations, as it is about partying with your body and just realizing that you do best without rules. Languishing in your freedom now will be the best thing you can do to remember that you have the power to make the choices you want.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your day-to-day routines change, but your mindset will still be rooted in the same place it ever was. This will force you into a time-out with yourself. You’ll want to reevaluate why you are so hard on others when it comes to intimacy and always wondering why effortless fairy tales that star you aren’t possible. Yes, flaws in your master plans will be blaringly obvious, as will the solutions.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Nobody can shake you now that you’ve made a decision. While you think that you’ve made a tough choice lately, when this week rolls around and you find yourself with new opportunities that can turn the tides, you might find that there are a few flexible bones in you that crave trouble more than you suspected. Last minute changes may just happen.

For The Week Of November 16-22, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

The only person standing in the way of your peace of mind this week will be you, as self-defeating ideas permeate your mind and you consider backtracking to a place you never should have been in the first place. Yes, the past will be haunting you. While it might feel good in that instant gratification way, trust the consequences will cut far deeper than you’d assume.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You never know what inner reserves of self-esteem you have until backed against a wall and made to defend yourself. This will be one of those Wonder Woman weeks. You’ll feel as if some crazy force of nature from inside you will erupt and throw others into a state of shock, in total awe of the amazing hero you truly are.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

A whole new flash of thrills, excitement and genius is about to light up your life — especially if your birthday is on the 16th! A new moon is happening on that very day. As astro legend has it, if your birthday falls under a new moon, you are granted a super lucky year. If you aren’t born on that day, sexy surprises will occur nonetheless, so make a wish and watch it happen.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Vindication comes as all those suspicions you have had about that certain someone start to make sense in a definitive way. This could mean him unveiling his flood of emotions, confirming it all, or it could mean finally being released from his hold, as you realize he’s truly an ass. Either which way, a cathartic moment is about to begin, and it’ll give you the freedom you ultimately crave.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Listen closely to what friends have to say, as there could be information circulating around your social group that is vital to your romantic well-being. Seems someone you know has been playing confidante to someone who should be directly telling you this news. Be willing to ask the tough questions, as nothing right now will be cut-and-dry.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Power struggles will create all sorts of tensions in your love life. While it’ll bode well in the boudoir, it won’t be doing so well when it comes to the real world. Expect tempers to flare at bizarre times and a high chance of disputes to break out publicly. While this isn’t your style, the trade-off of discovering this new form of foreplay will be totally intriguing.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Forget wishing for that old worn-out miracle — there’s one a new one that’s truly worth your while in reach. All you have to do to grab it is give up old illusions. Understand you can take responsibility for your emotions and still maintain your dignity, and life will open up like a magic forest and drop you off right into the fairy tale you’ve dreamt of — but with a better casted lead!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Maintaining a sense of mystery is pertinent now, as revealing all your cards won’t do a thing for heating up your object of desire in just the way that will win you big prizes. Not to say you should play games for the material benefits, but being patient will up the ante and give you a definitive scale in which you can see your power and see whom, exactly, you are playing with.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You can’t always bank on knowing everything about the one you love. This week, when conversations take a sharp turn to the intense, you will love what you learn. You’ll want to curl up even tighter with the one you are closest to, as it seems that fate is forcing the obvious and for you two to go that extra step toward true intimacy.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Detective work isn’t going to work. The only way to get the answer you are looking for will be to go directly to the source. Otherwise, trying to piece together information will only make you skeptical of what you can trust, and, as it stands right now, you are being your own worst enemy by not just stepping it up and showing off your courage.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Don’t over-think your situation. Instead, take a few deep breaths and see practicality is your friend. If you just do what is logical, the solution is within arm’s reach. Avoid trying to protect yourself so fiercely that you don’t get the obvious accomplished. Yes, this will require that you have to step out of your comfort zone, but don’t worry — it’ll feel amazing.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You aren’t one to ever settle and this time you will be forced to do so, if you don’t come up with a better plan of action. The cards are not stacked in your favor. To turn the tides will mean laying on some thick sweet talking and real workable ideas that can inspire the impossible.

For The Week Of November 9-15, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Be careful of all the things you admit to and whom you admit them to. Hidden motives will be among people close to you, which will create a minefield of distrust. Pay attention to your instincts, as they will guide you to safe shores. In time, those you can no longer trust will make themselves blaringly obvious.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Throwing money at the problem isn’t a bad thing, as long as those things you are flashing the cash for are l’objets des arts that will make you feel even more beautiful, appeasing the inner princess in you beyond. As it goes, this is your week to spoil yourself rotten and give yourself the love that others are just too stupid to show you without example.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Venus is officially in Scorpio, which means the ball will be completely in your court to pick and choose the plays you want. If this isn’t the case, then you aren’t looking at the facts hard enough. You’re hot stuff and there are men hungry to get a piece of you. Be cruel yet kind to make it worth your while, because sometimes wielding the power is sexy enough.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

To lure the worthy into your den, it’s time to start batting those eyelashes a bit more gently. Being anything other than evasive won’t work in scoring you the excitement you are craving. As it goes, this time around, it’ll be the part of the hunted rather than hunter that will truly satisfy your needs. However, don’t be scared to run faster to make them even crazier for you.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Yeah, friendship and sex have their separate places. While it works to be friends with someone you are having sex with, it is never simple to be having sex with a friend. Although, if ever there were a time to do the nasty with someone you are on good platonic terms with and to change the status of your relationship, it would be now.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

We all sleep with people for different reasons at various points in our lives, and life goes on. This week, when opportunities to get ahead might require a little more “muscle,” be careful! These crossroads will throw you into a tizzy with your morals, fantasies and ambitions — which one wins out only you can control.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Exotic adventures are the way to go to get your orgasm levels humming in a perfect harmony that could completely realign your chi. If you are heading abroad or having sex with someone culturally different than you, then consider yourself on the right track and enjoy yourself silly. If you are not doing either of those, then it is highly recommended that you try to do one of said options.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Let the skeletons out of the closet and let the chips fall where they may. No one is going to judge you as hard as you judge yourself. Take this chance by releasing what you feel so oppressed by, because at the end of the day, whoever is really going to love you the way you should be loved won’t give a crap about any of the dramas you create in your own head.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Do whatever your baby wants and call it a day. He’ll be brimming with all sorts of genius ideas, even if they seem a bit erratic at first. Put your faith in him and he’ll appreciate the show of confidence. In fact it might be so drastic, it might feel as if your old lazy lover has gotten a lobotomy and been reprogrammed to be all about you!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

To savor any meat worth its weight in gold, it’ll take some concerted effort in planning. No, this isn’t the sexiest suggestion in the world, as there is nothing that kills a buzz for you more than organizing. However, this isn’t just any time for you, and if you approach the details as foreplay, you might find a newer and more mentally invigorating way of getting off.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Embrace your feelings of vulnerability and realize it’s a good sign, as it means that someone currently turning you on is also really turning the screws of your psyche, affecting you deeply in ways you can’t even fully comprehend. Don’t talk yourself out of it, because it won’t work. While you can repress it temporarily, realize it will only grow back ten times stronger.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Having life honky-dory all day long is sweet, but that is not what makes you hot. Tension, personality clashes and challenges will be coming at you in droves, making you sweat under the collar. While there won’t be easy resolutions for your issues right now, who cares? The fact is that you will be feeling so fired up, any release you get will be that much more intense.

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