• friskyscopes

For The Week Of October 5-11, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Keep it cool when it comes to impressing that cute new someone this week. There is no reason you have to work at it. Besides, if you start the ball rolling now, you inevitably will go into your manic mode and wind up doing everything. Stop, think and stop. If you want to change those failed relationship patterns of your past, this is where it all starts. Let him come to you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Trying to stay polite in your speech is sweet and all, but you know you are currently feeling some rage, so let it out. Situations and people you’ve been making excuses for no longer deserve them. Get real with yourself; then get real with them. No one gets any pleasure from getting the short end of the stick, so turn it around and get the best.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Pay attention to your instincts. They’ll be in turbo alert mode for the next few weeks, saving you from tremendous aggravation. Promises made, confessions spilt, plans set — whatever the case, you’ll know if there is real sincerity and truth behind it all with the precision of a surgeon. What you do with it though, you’ll have to wait and see.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Get the coordinated outfits going and the mega watt smiles beaming, because it’s time to show off as an IT couple. Whatever the case, whether it’s a job function or a family thing, playing into a perception of how others want to see you will benefit you both financially down the line. If anything, think of it as a role-playing exercise.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Beware of s**t trickling down into your home life. Chances are big for stress to hit at the office and for you or your honey to be the other’s whipping post as a result. If this winds up being you, call it out when he misbehaves and ride the guilt out long and strong. If it is you, well, be ready with a sob story and to turn the situation around at a moment’s notice if he calls you on it.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Routines are fine if you are a gerbil; otherwise, time to break out of your comfort zone and realize there are more ways to get off than just one. If you don’t change this way about you now, you might wind up very sad and lonely, as the boredom and anxiety brewing in your bedroom may reach its tipping point soon.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Who cares who is going to judge you, if it means getting off? Feel free to spill your secrets and show that you are more than just a pretty face. The dirtier the fantasies, the more delicious your rewards — as it seems that someone who can properly fulfill all your demented little dreams is merely just a phone call away, if you want it that is.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You are going to have to put your ego aside and play fair. Dealing with your baby will seem a little harder, as you can expect he’ll be speaking up for himself a little more these days — but seems to be his bravado will turn you on just enough to dull the pain from having to lower yourself to his demands.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re superficial and you know it. Own it, love it and embrace it. Don’t make excuses for yourself because the moment that you do, that is when things will start to backfire on you. Be proud of all sides of who you are. Because if the person you are hanging with is right, they will see you as honest, not shallow.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Let the words fly out of your mouth, because if you run out of pure emotions, your diatribes will be way more effective and poignant than if you try to edit yourself and plan what you’re going to say in advance. Besides, by now, you should know that everything you do is way better if you are flying by the seat of your pants.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Consider yourself screwed. Seems the wild game of cat and mouse you’ve been playing had too many players involved – it’s all about to catch up with you. Best to own up to the naughtiness immediately and take it from there. Truth will be the only thing to set you free, but even so, it might only grant you a pardon. Whatever the case, consider this karma doing its thing.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

As long as you make whatever you want sound pretty, people will do as you say. And lucky you, influences will cause you to have poetry pouring from your mouth, so use it for good and share all those feelings, thoughts, plans and desires bottled inside that sweet little head of yours. The music coming from your mouth with be irresistible.

For The Week Of September 28-October 4, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Settle any debts — either monetary or emotional — and get your power back. Whatever circumstance has been making you feel insecure lately will be magically reversed, but only if you wish to see you are way above what has entrapped you. From here the future is open, beautiful and full of bright new opportunities!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Sublime forces are at work, settling your mind and body into a state of total relaxation and bliss by the week’s end. This will come in the form of utter apathy or finally getting all the pieces of the puzzle put in their proper place and realizing what a good thing you have. Either/or, expect that you’ll get all the insight you need to plan your next move.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

People who think you have all day have you all wrong. If they inherently aren’t getting the basic side of you, making you feel special in one form or another, realize they won’t ever. Real romance doesn’t mean working hard to prove yourself. If they don’t get the awesomeness that is you STAT, they aren’t for you, end of discussion.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Reality is about to shine its light upon your ego and show the enormity of importance that you live your life under. Not to say you shouldn’t think you’re that delightful, but consider that perhaps, maybe perhaps, your baby has got a point in how one-sided your points of view are. Time to take a good look in the mirror and start owning up to being a “we,” not just a “me.”

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Unfortunately, this is the week when your relationship isn’t just about you and your boo — but your families too. Whoever’s relatives are coming into the picture, yours or his, it won’t be pretty. Seems disaster will plague you, as drama, raucous opinions and just utterly bad behavior will be happening. How you both deal with this will be a true testament of your bond.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Put your feelings out there and let go. Free yourself of the shackle and chains in which you bear your emotions alone. Tear down the barriers; say what you want and how you want it. If all will work out, it will, but if you want action, it’ll mean taking responsibility for yourself and throwing the ball in their court. After all, it’s never going to work unless you’re both playing.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

A jolt to your long-term thinking is going to happen and sudden changes to your trajectory are in the stars. Don’t be surprised if you unexpectedly get sick of routines and the comfort zone you are in and crave a lot more excitement. Sure, this might just be a wild lost week or it could be a whole new way of life. Whichever, be open to anything!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Laying down the law means no more negotiating. As compassionate as you may be to hear another’s sob story, realize that a deadline is a deadline and once they have passed the time allotted, you have to stand on it as is. After all, if they can’t work at your speed, what kind of wavelength are they on? Do you really need to spend your precious time waiting? Think not.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Stop looking for excuses to bury your head in. Time to drop the rose-colored glasses and get back in the trenches. Just coasting along, thinking everything will fall into place isn’t going to happen. If it was going to, it would have already. Time for action and realizing you have to be the one to steer your destiny — as in picking a destination — instead of letting one pick you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

A hotheaded friend may explode at any given minute. Seems pent-up feelings about how you’re dealing with your current dalliances and their fascist opinions will clash this week. Although you’ll do whatever you want to do anyway, do realize the judgmental police are out and waiting for you to mess up. While this doesn’t sound nice, do consider they may have some insight.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Career woes are about to come to a close, freeing up your mind and self-esteem back to normal levels and giving you the ability to start acting out on your whims. Expect a wild surge of emotions to come flooding in and go with it. Consider this acting out of your subconscious to be the most emotionally truth-revealing experience you’ve had in ages.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Always being the cheerleader is a pain the ass and a fairly thankless job if you aren’t rooting for the right team. This week, put down those pompoms and see what happens when you aren’t the one valiantly supporting relationship matters at hand. After all, it takes two. If you aren’t feeling the same enthusiasm back, this is the time to deal with it.

For The Week Of September 21-27, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Make your man work it and love it. There’s no reason you always have to be the one working it in bed, as that isn’t going to give your mind something to truly get lost in during those long hours when you are all alone and need that grand romantic fantasy to get inspired. After all, what else will drive you to get your eager beaver back in the saddle over and over again?

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your patience is starting to wear thin and this is when you’ll be starting to get restless. As the places you think you should be are not aligning with the places you are in, you’re going to have to get brave to get your trajectory back on track. As of now, this is not the time to be wasting your energy on waiting.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your standards aren’t easy. The fact that you think that the ultimate prize you’re after should get handed to you on a platinum platter is hysterical. You know you would feel suspicious if it occurred miraculously, since it’s the drama, the struggle and romance that make you thrive. If it’s not a page turner, drop it.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

There will be a lot of things motivating you this week. Among them won’t be a sweet love affair that’ll take you into the winds of oblivion. Instead, drama may unfold at the office, as in a flirtation with someone that could make for a potentially messy situation. Of course, trouble has always been something that excites a girl like you. So, sure, get blown away!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Every time you sabotage yourself with some kind of reality-based comments that have you thinking in a purely linear way, smack yourself! Life is the product of your thoughts and ambitions. If you aren’t willing to see past the glass ceiling, then only you will be to blame. Options are there. Choose wisely.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Time to pick up the pace and forge a deeper intellectual connection with whomever you have on the speed dial. Just joking around and being all cutesy is fun, but it’s not giving you the juice you need to really feel the love. Brains matter. There is no reason you can’t break out those MENSA questions at will. Until you have Einstein on your reel, keep fishing.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you are going to sign on the dotted line, this is the perfect time to do it. Love and commitment are in your stars this week, as you will be feeling the peace of mind it takes to figure out what exactly it will take to make you happy and be in it to win it. Go ahead — work it out with your baby and let the love shine in, because it’s all there for the taking.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Timing is everything. If you find you and your object of desire aren’t synching up so well in the scheduling department, then this is the time you really will have to see how much you want it and how much time you are willing to sacrifice to make it happen. Of course, if this isn’t a two-way street and he’s if he isn’t making the first move, don’t even bother turning on your ignition.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You won’t have any self-control when it comes to lust this week, nor should you have to hold back. Your tastes will be sublime and there is no reason you can’t taste the fruits of your desire. After all, why dwell on the consequences when painting in the whole picture will take time? In fact, the slower the burn, the hotter the sensations.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Turn up the charm and make them worship you. This is your time of the year to let love affairs get out of hand. Seems you have powers beyond even your comprehension that will lure them exactly where you want them. So if you want to make it matter, don’t waste it on just anyone. Aim your target accordingly and you will surely capture yourself a bountiful feast.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can feel your way through another flirtation that seems to have potential. This time around, you’ll need backup. It’s time to really be clear with yourself about what you are after — and go with it! The less you leave to the imagination, the more real it will be. At this stage in your game, it’s time to learn that honesty and directness have their good points.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

According to researchers, a man shows how much he cares with time and money. This week keep this in mind: If you don’t have both in spades, it’s time to negotiate with yourself what he is worth to you. Patience is great, but not if it is costing you valuable time and self-esteem. Look at the cold hard facts — they don’t lie.

For The Week Of September 14-20, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

A new leaf will turn for you once you decide to change a dirty habit. It will uncover a state of bliss that you haven’t felt for ages, making you feel invincible and ready to take charge. This isn’t the time to take “no” from anyone — least of all, yourself. Remember this and you will have the dandiest week ever.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Ask a close friend if you have been making too many excuses for that special someone or if that someone is making too many concessions for you. If you find that there is an imbalance in the union from an objective point of view, then take that as fact and sort out the rest of the data on the table to see exactly how it adds up. Your conclusions should be riveting.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Forget that naughty side to you and saddle up with a PG version of yourself, as you should be placing an emphasis on the friendship developing in your current love tryst. The less pressure you put on the more intense areas of the “getting to know you” phase, the more you get that relationships are supposed to be fun — your crucial lesson for this week.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Just when you thought you were old enough to rise above the peer pressure, in comes a deluge of voices that confuse you and make you want to scream. Go ahead: do it! As that might be the only way for you to stop from falling into the pit of popular opinion, and the only way to get you to listen to yourself and see that you have to set your own standards.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Free your imagination. There’s nothing holding you back, other than you and the reasoning you subscribe to. Time to switch up your attitude and realize the impossible is possible — but without your belief in it, you will only be stuck in a bitter rut that’ll keep you as your own worst enemy. If that sounds acceptable to you, proceed as you have been. Otherwise, it’s time to change.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

The sexual tension gets explosive this week. All your awkwardness comes to a head, as the chemicals in your brain won’t be reacting in a way you’re used to and this can lead to a few embarrassing moments. Thankfully, if you’re barking up the right tree, whoever is watching your antics will find these moments of utter gracelessness endearing, rather than humiliating.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Sign your booty over on the dotted line. This is the time when love should start coming together in a sweet little package, giving you a sense of direction and comfort. If you’re single, time to set your intentions out there by rationally scouring your mind for what is your realistic ideal. It’s time to sharpen your aim. A good eye will get you everywhere.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

With your libido lagging these days, the one way to pump it back is to pump it up. Revive yourself by jumpstarting a new fitness routine, getting all your annual doctor appointments out of the way and dealing with all those physical aspects of yourself that will lead you back on the road to being a peak performer.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Sitting on the fence is not going to win you any favors. If you want it, you got to be in it to win it. Enough with thinking things have to play out in a certain fashion for it to be right! You’re the writer of your own story. If you want it to be a legendary masterpiece, it’ll mean laying yourself on the line and thickening the plot.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

For a gal like you, it’s not just the things you commonly love with a dude that’ll cozy you up to him, but also the things you hate. This week they’ll be nothing more invigorating than showing off your bad attitude to that special curmudgeonly someone. Seems being able to bitch together will be one of the most romantic things you can do to nab the heart of your intended.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You can’t trip over your words this week. If you want something, you are going to have to be clear — as in starting the facts, sticking to direct eye contact and being cognizant of relaying your emotions obviously. This isn’t the time to see if anyone is a mind reader. Reach out and make yourself known; the universe is listening.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Money, luxury and comfort will open up to you at a new level, letting you relax for a few. Take in the rewards of work well done. The issue now is not to get complacent. While you are cruising along swimmingly, don’t forget to keep your eye over the horizon, as that will be the only way you will be able to maintain.

For The Week Of September 7-13, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

All the answers you want about your current love relationship are in how you both deal with your joint finances. Consider money the metaphor for your bond. If this means taking off the rose-colored glasses to see that things will only go so far, in terms of sharing or potential, then you will have to be braver than ever to face the music. Accept that your ideal lifestyle is non-negotiable.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Don’t get too detailed about feelings or plans with your honey or whomever you’re shacking up with these days, because your mind will be wandering erratically from emotion to emotion. There won’t be any accounting for what you truly want right now, as you won’t be able to see cause and effect clearly. Until you can, don’t commit to anything.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

The past is coming back to haunt you. What you thought was something you let die will spring back alive and prove to be way more intriguing than you ever thought. Instead of trying to poo poo all the outcomes, let loose the control and just go with it. You have nothing to lose! If it all goes in the crapper anyway, you can then say, “I knew it.”

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Forget your friends. They’ll be aggravating the hell out of you. Sure, they want to be helpful and give you advice, but unless you’re asking for it, they really have no right and that gives you complete clearance to tell them to “Shut the f**k up!” If there are going to be voices in your head, they better be your own. Because when it comes down to it, you will have the right answers.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

All the drama you indulge in, and which brings out your self-sabotaging behaviors, gets a reprieve. Expect an epiphany that’ll start to clear the cobwebs that keep you from seeing your own capabilities. However, realize this won’t put you on easy street right away, as this only marks the beginning of a new journey — but at least this is a voyage in which you know your destination.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You know who the flakes are in your life. Though, you are the only one to blame if you allow them to let you down once again. Enough is enough. Your idealism is only going to get you so far; you are procrastinating on the obvious. Time to accept that maybe you are your own worst enemy and realize that the truth can hurt, but it will hurt less if you stop trying to deny it.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you’re a swinging single, be careful whom you hook up with this week. Chances of lasting repercussions that will have you wanting to borax your vagina out the next day are high — as in when the sun comes up, it’ll reveal disturbing annoyances that’ll repulse. Of course, you’re never one to resist dancing with the devil, so at least make sure the protection is steady and strong.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Old issues die hard and that’s why you and your baby will be having a deja vu in terms of tension and arguments. Seems an inherent crack in your relationship’s foundation is not as patched-up as you thought. However, instead of thinking you can change the other person, get real with yourself and make choices on what you can and can’t live with.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Love foibles will be making your life more like a comedy every day, but as long as you keep a sense of humor and level head about you, the mishaps will make your romance even that much more memorable — as it’ll be those little flaws that will endear you the most and show you the real character behind your latest catch.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your legendary fickleness will be making its grand appearance, as you won’t be feeling the love as much. The only exception is if you have hooked up with someone from your past. Otherwise, whoever has been in the picture will no longer seem to cut it, as your mind will start wandering down memory lane and have you realizing standards you once had aren’t so easy to forget.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your serious attitude towards relationships will start to ease up and finally you will realize that having fun isn’t such an awful fate. Give a little and you will get a lot. However, give a lot and you will get it all. Just don’t be stuck to your stubborn ways for too long and sit on the fence trying to decide; act and you will receive.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You will hear everything you want to hear, but the problem is that you will have this nagging feeling that you won’t be able to rely on it. What to believe? Honey, always trust yourself. Sycophants will be all around and, if you allow them to, they will ruin your day with their kiss-ass lies. Action is the only currency you can bank on this week, not words.

For The Week Of August 31-September 6, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Your patience is running thin. To remain intact, realize it’s time to make a compromise or a total cut in your emotional dealings. No, it won’t be as painless as you’d wish, but trust it won’t be as harsh as you imagine. Don’t be scared of making the change, because if you don’t make that move now, the universe will do it for you and it won’t be as compassionate.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Emotionally, you’ll be too drained to deal with the nitty-gritty of life. Then, to also have to deal with picking up the slack for someone else who you already know isn’t as capable as you, that’s just another drama. However, options always abound and unless you look to see the obvious, then you can consider this week a peek into your Christmas future.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your cynicism will get a shock to its system as all that bulls**t you’ve been through, which has caused a callus to form over your heart, will start to get diffused by a miraculous romantic concoction. You’ll be wondering if you’ve stepped into an alternate reality. Sure, it might last a day, or it might last forever. The point is to keep an open mind.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your optimism for love is like a bulletproof vest that protects you from shots of reality that would have others, who have no vision, running for the hills. This week, though, even you will take the grave wrong turn. But it will give you the clarity to see that someone isn’t truly all that.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Be careful of saying things you feel at the moment you feel them. Seems this week your emotions will be too unpredictable and changeable to make any promises, which can cause a major upset if you reveal too much. As it goes, you won’t be in a place to make any solid commitments — even though it might feel like it one minute, your mind will change in another.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

There will be subtle jabs at your confidence from an undermining source — someone who you thought had your back. While this duplicity will anger and upset you, don’t react suddenly. Be gracious about separating yourself from this bad energy, as it won’t be worth confronting. Rather, use this knowledge as power to beat them at their own game. Show them who’s the master.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ve seen all sides to the case in dispute. Now it’s time to call all your inner voices in for a huddle to get to the verdict. Dealing once and for all with your state of distress will set you into fight or flight mode. However, do realize that you must be prudent, as all sales are final with no exceptions made.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

If you find yourself living in your own version of Groundhog’s Day — where everything just repeats itself over and over again, and no matter how many different ways you approach the situation, you always wind up at the same place — don’t fret! A change is coming. It will pull all you’ve learned into perfect order, finally making sense of your madness, at least just a little.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Drama hits your friendship and this time it won’t be as easy to gloss over as in the past. It might be time that you have to let someone go or, at the least, take a time out. Whichever the case, emotions will be running high. The more you allow yourself to vent and f**k the pain away, the more you will ensure yourself of landing on your feet.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Being able to think for the greater good is vital for you right now, as it’ll win you the trust you seek. Otherwise, just going for instant gratification won’t win you any fans, or any true satisfaction. As it goes, right now is about laying down tracks that will make a solid foundation for your future. If you can’t see that straight, then realize you’re probably barking up the wrong tree.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Throw a party for yourself this week because there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. An epiphany is due to you! It will give you a sense of clarity you haven’t had in ages. However, you must be prepared for whatever lesson you will learn, as there is no stopping the caboose now, as now it’s all about fast-tracking.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

If you have someone to boogie down with, do so. This is a hot week to get your groove on and really work out the tension in the deepest parts of your psyche and body. Let loose and get as freaky as you’d like to, because the more you let your imagination run you wild, the more control you will feel you have over your fate. It’s sometimes about ending so you can begin again.

For The Week Of August 24-30, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Confusion will make you dizzy, as everyone and their grandmother will spew opinions about your love life. Friends, your subconscious, your neighbors, and even the IT guy at your office will say things that’ll sound significant. However, you don’t have to make a decision right away; so don’t freak yourself out more than necessary. If he can’t wait, he’s not worth it.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

So yeah, you’re social. You like going out, meeting people and, yes, you like to talk. The problem with that this week is your exaggerated words might come back to haunt you. Be prudent with what info you share with not-so-close acquaintances. Sure, shock-value confessions will give you the spotlight, but don’t risk that price to pay. It won’t be worth it.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your patience finally comes to a head, as you get answers you’ve waited ages on. You’ll discover whether your insane optimism is truly a blessing or a curse. Yes, what actually occurs over this week will depend on the tracks you’ve laid in the past. So, if it goes swimmingly, know there is a method to your madness. Otherwise, back to the drawing board and, perhaps, a shrink.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Love won’t be coming to you on a silver platter right now, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t treats to be had. This week it’s all about working it in a new style and with a new agenda. Ask around, call up different friends, and venture off into uncharted territories. The more cunning and adventurous you are, the more surprising the finale will be.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Take the plunge in a big way, like book a foreign adventure with your current boo! Testing your commitment is a big bonus now, as it seems you both have been chomping at the bit to see some indication that there is hope for a future together. There’s nothing like being thrown into the exotic unknown to see how your team work will survive.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

An intense feeling of love and admiration will instantly wash over you for the one you’re with or the one you want to be with — but don’t let that haze blind you into believing that person can walk on water. Seriously, a happy relationship isn’t always about some crazy unconditional state of mind. It’s about respect. Until you master that, stop making more promises than necessary.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

To get an accurate trajectory of your relationship, look to the details — and not with compassion. Sure, he might get the big things right, as in remembering your birthday and being kind to your friends, but if he’s not good with the little things, this is your time to pinch him a little harder to get maximum perfection. A little gentle nudging will bring results.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

As the sign of war, you love a good fight, but this week it can go all-out ugly. So be careful about the battles you choose and how you go about trying to prove your points. A little honey will go a lot farther than vinegar. If you want to actually get some tension-releasing sex out of this deal, it’ll mean throwing in a bit of diplomacy with your snarkiness.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Be ready to jump over obstacles and get creative when it comes to getting the attention of that hot someone you’ve been sweating. This isn’t the time for synchronicity to work in a linear manner and the stakes will be high, so think fast and move faster. The good news is that if you do solve this riddle, your rewards will be plenty.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

No matter how sweet the intentions you share with your baby, it doesn’t always mean you’ll see eye-to-eye on everything. Tastes and experiences will differ from moment to moment and it’ll be up to you to determine if you can negotiate around the situation. Of course, not all journeys will bring back gold. That’s just the way the ball bounces.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Hurry up and say what’s on your mind. You have no more time to lose – get off the fence! If you want to step up to the plate and take responsibilities for your emotions, it’ll mean being courageous enough to claim your prize. Not to say you have to have your whole plan worked out, but at least get the materials to build your dream life.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Batting your eyes and dropping subtle hints is all you have to do to take that next step. If you try to do anything more, you will only regret you’ve made such grand efforts. In this phase of gaining dominance, you only have to be smart and efficient with how you express yourself. A little will go long enough.

For The Week Of August 17-23, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Taking an apathetic approach will do wonders for your state of mind. Not only will learning how to say “F*ck it!” be a powerful lesson in stress relief, it’ll also put out the right signals to Mr. Man about how to get you back into feeling the inspiration – and it will let him know time is up on having too much of a good thing without returning the favors.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Pay attention to your hunches and don’t let your talent to make excuses get the better of you. Whether you are avoiding taking back control due to fear, laziness or just all-out confusion, sitting on the fence is the worst route to take. Push and shove immediately, as taking a side will knock everything into its proper place.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Thankfully, you have your friends because this is the week you will need them on the speed dial — to get them to talk you off the ledge at any given moment. Your moods will be crashing in all sorts of directions and logic will seem hard to grasp. While you might fight reason initially, trust in the end it’ll be what saves you from a mound of humiliation.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You of all people hate to follow rules, but if you don’t create some structure in your life to follow, then you will be leading yourself down a slippery slope. Best to have a plan set and ideals in mind. The more of a clue you give yourself now, the less likely you will be caught off-guard with crappy situations that shouldn’t plague you.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

This is one of those weeks when shocking revelations make themselves known, turning you on beyond words. Forget trying to talk yourself out of falling deeper into the emotions you wrestle with. What’s the point? It would be like realizing you have a winning lottery ticket and purposely not cashing it in.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Hot monkey sex and all the libidinous fantasies you have brewing in your mind will come to a head this week as your secret desires can no longer be held back, darting you ahead into the wild unknown like a savage beast hungry from too long of a hibernation. Yes, this is when your raw instincts will come alive and lead you into territories never ventured before. Enjoy!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

In the scheme of things, giving into your baby’s current demands isn’t so dismal. Besides, it’s time to throw him a bone, as he has always chivalrously given you the bigger end of the stick (and quite gently and effectively too). Plus, if you don’t start showing some gratitude then you’re just biding your time before there’s an expulsion from paradise.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

All your psycho theories get a run for their money this week as actions you set into motion start to sprout out their consequences, giving you a clue on how well you know a certain someone. Hopefully, this surprise will be a good one, as in a chemistry that ignites and a partner that knows how to correctly play back with you. Otherwise, know if it’s not happening now, it never will.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Good times are here and best to get to enjoy them while the getting is good. Yes, communications will run smoothly and saying how you feel will open doorways you never thought you’d get past. So ask those questions that plague you and set your mind straight. Know that whatever info is given is done with great trust, so embrace it all.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Plans you have been going with will hit a bump by the end of the week. From there, expect to switch directions and sort out a new destination. Just don’t waste time mourning what you could have had, as it won’t do a thing to move you in the right path. With no time to waste, trust this really is a blessing in disguise.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Asserting your will doesn’t have to be a daunting thing, if you are correct. This week express yourself. If those you’re dealing with are sane, they’ll get your smart ideas and be willing to back you up. Arguing has no place in your life now and if you do have to push hard to prove your point, realize you just have to find other ears to pay attention.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

All the answers you need are staring you in the face. The obvious is in the details. If you look closer at your situation, instead of the dreamy bigger picture that keeps driving you forward in the wrong direction, you’ll find cracks in the foundation that need to be sealed or completely trashed. Either/or, this week is all about working, communicating and negotiating. Good luck.

For The Week Of August 10-16, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

If you have any itching and nagging sensations, do not blow them off. There is a reason you are twitching about with this anxiety and although you would like to go into denial about what truth could be staring you back in the face, it won’t go away on its own. If you want any resolution, you’re going to have to be the one to go get it.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Expecting your baby to want the best for you is obvious. This should be the least he provides for you, if he truly wants you to be his #1. Of course, what he thinks is good for you and what you want can be totally opposite. Unless you speak up and share your thoughts, you might be heading into a comical mess that if not caught quickly will turn tragic.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Emotionally, you’ll be feeling stuck. On one hand, you think you are getting what you want. On the other, it’s not exactly as you imagined. While you’re a pro at improv, realize it’ll be how you have to always operate if you want to stay on this current path—but God knows leaving it up to chance isn’t your strong suit. You know it: This week, it’s time to make some real decisions.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Don’t assume anything this week. What you be suspecting has a big chance of being the farthest thing from what your logic might drum up. Instead, be willing to talk everything out to the umpteenth degree, even if you think you are being annoying and too anal. It’ll be worth your while to pay attention to the details — and you have the right to do so.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Your sense of security gets scrutinized and it’ll mean streamlining your finances and getting into a super-practical state of mind. While this is your specialty, this probably won’t be your honey’s specialty. So, with that said, expect those uncomfortable money talks to mar your week with unavoidable stress.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Some compassion towards your boo will go far this week, as softening him into your clutches will make him loopy for anything you say and agreeable to any of your demands. Seems winning power won’t be so hard this week, but only if you make that sweet and loveable side of you last more than just a few hours.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you feel as if you’ve been living in rewind mode lately and you can’t seem to get your head out of the past, realize there is a bigger reason for it. There are deeper messages for you to comprehend than just sorting out smiles and sadness from days gone, as in a lesson you learned and forgot, or skipped over, that is going to come back to haunt you now.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Friendship should be the cornerstone to any relationship, and if you can’t have that, then the rest will be impossible to come by. However, if that is all you have and the sexy sparks have died down, that isn’t helping the matter either. Sure, you have someone to show up to parties with and to text you through the day, but is living in an image really that satisfying?

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Keeping a chipper sense of humor will work wonders in charming others to do as you say. As it goes, you will be dealing with an exorbitant amount of nimrods that’ll say the most awkward and irritating things to you, but giving in and letting them get under your skin won’t do you any good. Have fun with it and use your words to play them like the chew toys they are.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Resist over-exaggerating to get your points across, even during moments of the most whacked communications. Overcompensating won’t do anything but add to the slush pile of words that can corrupt the mind and heart of whom you wish to love, cherish and ravage. At best, less is way more this time around.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Remember, you’re loved. So why stress about anything else? Seeing that you’ve mastered the hardest part of existence — getting someone to give a crap about you — all else should be cake. However, once you stop freaking out and start sorting out the smaller steps to your bigger picture instead of trying to make one giant leap, all will be even better.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Generosity is not a quality you lack. However, just handing it over on a silver platter to any pretty face isn’t the most prudent thing to do — especially considering superficial allure is your kryptonite. This time, turn fate on her ass and change your method of operation around. Selfish behavior will be rewarded.

For The Week Of August 3-10, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It might feel as if the world is working against you right now and to some extent it is, but if you are indeed as bright as you think you are and can work the angles, you will find that there are more than a few loopholes you can work your way through to move out of the turmoil that has seemingly trapped you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Who you choose to associate yourself with is your business and anyone that tries to manipulate you isn’t giving you enough credit to be able to handle yourself. Sure, it’s nice to have people care about you, but there is a fine line between being protective and controlling. Until they can find that distinction, it’s best not to listen to anyone else but yourself.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Emotionally speaking you’ve been feeling more intense than most can even begin to comprehend and while you can try to explain yourself, chances are it’ll only upset you and leave you feeling more alone than before. Best to use your escapism tendencies to deal, because trying to go about anything rational now will be an unnecessary downer.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Agreements are about to be made and sealing important deals will lift a massive amount of stress off your shoulders, getting you back into a chill position in your life. Slink back into play mode with your honey and realize that if he has been willing to put up with you for the last few weeks as is, you‘ve got yourself a real keeper.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Your relationship with money is one of the most solid ones you’ve got. However, when someone enters the picture, you’ll wonder if something has been lacking in your life all the while and if your material instincts have been leading you astray. Seems there are a few vital things you’ll want that money just can’t buy.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ve had your heart in the right place, but your mind less so. This week, a magical alignment happens and puts you back on the right karmic page, driving you ahead in the proper direction that isn’t just good for your soul, but everyone around you too. Yes, others will finally stop wondering what crack pipe you’ve been smoking out of. Hoorah!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you have paid attention to your gut, this week won’t be a big shock to you, as the thing you thought would come to pass will happen this week. If you haven’t been listening to your inner voice, then this is when you will reconsider why and deal with those issues that make you your own worst enemy.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Strategy and calm emotions will be your key to getting through this week with the least amount of drama as possible. As it goes, keeping friends close and enemies closer will have played a vital role in how this week will sort itself out and deliver you onto a new drama that not only has you peeved, but also wondering if you’re psychic.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Choosing the best for you is easy, as the choice that will work is the one that isn’t pressuring you to drop all other choices. Getting control of matters at hand means knowing what’s behind the forces pulling you. If you truly want the life you say you want, with one that is for your ultimate good, then you will understand that freedom isn’t a bad thing.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

This is when the big talks stop and the action begins. Yes darling, time to end those lighthearted flirty games and get down to business, opening up and discussing that emotional agenda you have locked up in the most guarded places of your heart, revealing that you do indeed have a delicate sensibility that isn’t all just jokes and giggles.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’ll be so doped up on love; not much will phase you. However, a tide of stressful events is coming that’ll shift the power dynamics in your life — which most likely have to deal with your finances. No, this isn’t the best news in the world, but be grateful that you have a trusted source to curl up to during this rocky period and do so.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’ll reach your last bit of patience and snapping won’t be out of the realm of possibility. While the tantrum aspect of it won’t be pretty, something surprisingly hot will grow out of it and what blooms will be worth its weight in gold. However, don’t expect anything to be so linear this week.

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