Tag Archives: frisky rant

Frisky Rant: If You’re Privileged And You Know It, STFU

Frisky Rant: If You're Privileged And You Know It, STFU

A little background on me. I’m almost 35 years old, I went to an in-state university (UC Santa Cruz), I worked two jobs almost full-time during school, my parents helped me financially in ways that they could, and I had to take out student loans that I am not yet, but almost done paying back. I consider myself much luckier than many. I was able to find a way to afford to go to college in a country where getting a higher education has become more and more expected and less and less feasible. I do not for a second think that I am better than those who had to incur more debt in order to do so. The same cannot be said for xoJane writer Jessica Slizewski, who penned one of the most idiotic and tone deaf pieces I’ve possibly ever read on the internet, entitled “Unpopular Opinion: I Don’t Have Student Loans And I Don’t Feel Bad For People Who Do.” Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: The Real Problem With Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” Cover Art & Her “Black Jezebel” Brand

Frisky Rant: The Real Problem With Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda" Cover Art & Her "Black Jezebel" Brand

Last week, Nicki Minaj released the artwork for her new single “Anaconda,” featuring the rapper in a squat position with her large posterior aimed directly at viewers. The image was met with mostly support from fans and critics but some questioned if the image was “too racy.” In response to those criticisms, Minaj tweeted several Sports Illustrated photos with White swimsuit models in similar poses and the message “angelic” and “acceptable,” hinting at society’s racial bias that does not treat Black bodies with the same respect as White ones — a statement that was met with more controversy. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: My Boobs Are Not A Threat To Your Marriage

Frisky Rant: My Boobs Are Not A Threat To Your Marriage

Recently blogger Lauren of Apples and Band-Aids caused an uproar among bloggers when she wrote a post claiming that racy social media images by sexy female strangers were a threat to her marriage. To wit:

When your bare shoulders and stretchmark-less bellies and tanned legs pop up, I not only worry if my husband will linger over your picture. I worry how he will compare me to you.

As I wrap myself into his arms at night, I wonder if he is seeing you there instead of my mess of a body left over from pregnancy. I wonder if he thinks I’m lazy and that I don’t take good care of myself. I wonder if he wishes I looked more like you than who I really am.

And then the insecurity monster comes back to bite at our relationship again … me, begging for affirmation, and him tiring from saying the same thing over and over.

Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: IDGAF If You Say I Look “Like A Tranny”

Frisky Rant: IDGAF If You Say I Look "Like a Tranny"

I’ve wondered for a long time if maybe I have higher levels of testosterone than other women, because there’s always been a lot about me that is just distinctly un-feminine (in the sort of standard way of looking at masculinity and femininity). I don’t want to state any facts about testosterone because I am not an endocrinologist and I don’t want to engage in pseudo-science, but suffice it to say that when I hear the experiences of transmen who have undergone hormone therapy I’ve related to the differences they observe. And, in fact, I’ve always had an easier time relating to and making friends with men. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: Grownups Don’t “Shush” Each Other

Frisky Rant: Grownups Don't "Shush" Each Other

About once a week, I “work from home,” which really means that I work from a coffee shop near my apartment. It’s a pleasantly balanced crowd — the other young professionals tapping on their laptops give it an “office away from the office” feel, but the parents with strollers and groups gathered around tables remind me I’m in a public space. I get my best work done with a nondescript hum in the background, hence why I rarely work from my actual home in my pajamas. It’s easy — no, ideal — for me to block out low volumes of noise in order to concentrate on my work.  In fact, I actually listen to a coffee shop sounds “white noise” audio on loop when I’m at The Frisky’s office.

So it was with great annoyance that last week I had the misfortune to sit next to a woman at my coffee shop WHO TALKED REALLY LOUD LIKE THIS BECAUSE SHE HAD NO SELF-AWARENESS ABOUT THE SOUND OF HER VOICE. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: On The Great Robin Thicke Feminist Knee-Jerk Fiasco Of 2013

Frisky Rant: On The Great Robin Thicke Feminist Knee-Jerk Fiasco Of 2013
Rejected Robin Thicke Songs
Robin Thicke & Paula Patton Announce That They’re Separating
Songs about Paula Patton that did not make the cut, unforch. Read More »

The first time I really listened to the lyrics of “Blurred Lines,” I was like, “This is my JAM!” It only took a few minutes of Googling and reading my favorite feminist blogs, though, before I started becoming horrified and dismayed at the feminist community’s reaction to the song. The Daily Beast kicked off a knee-jerk party by calling it a “rape song,” and from there it was over. Feminist blog after feminist blog started jumping on the bandwagon, then the fervor spread to major news outlets, and all summer I was mired in language that made me feel excluded from a community into which I’ve invested not only my time and energy, but also my identity.

Let me be clear, Robin Thicke as a person seems like a giant douchenozzle and his latest album is pathetic. But I looooove “Blurred Lines.” The accusation that it’s “rapey” is unfounded if you look at the entire song in context: It’s about two sexually expressive people flirting. That’s it. At no point in the song does the male narrator imply that he’s willing or going to bypass consent. The idea that it’s about the “blurred lines of consent” was projected onto it by people who came to the song with prior hangups. The “blurred line” he’s referring to is the line of knowing or not knowing if the person you’re flirting with is into you. Like, “I’m pretty sure I know you want it, but you haven’t expressly said so, so we’re still in this hazy flirting territory.” He doesn’t say — at all, ever — “I know you want it, and whether or not that’s actually true, I’m going to take it.” But nonetheless, that’s what it was made out to be. Keep reading »

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