A new study found that mutual dislikes — rather than likes — help humans bond initially. “There’s something really powerful about the discovery of shared negative attitudes,” said Jennifer Bosson, the lead researcher on this study. She found that we tend to connect when we have a third entity to demean because it makes us feel as if we instinctively understand each other better.
I know this sounds awful, but I think nearly all of my long-lasting friendships (and some relationships) began this way. My childhood best friend and I met when I was accidentally seated next to the kid who picked his warts and ate them in first grade. I cried so hard that the teacher changed the seating chart. My new neighbor and I talked about how weird Wart Boy was and we’ve been friends ever since. I met my college best friend on the steps of my freshman dorm. An awful frat guy tried to make a pass at me and I made fun of him. She laughed. We became instant besties. I know we are taught to be nice and perky to make friends. But screw that. I will continue to form bonds over things I dislike. It’s more fun that way. [NY Mag] Keep reading »
It’s time again for “Shortcuts.” For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss guy friends who want to take things to the next level, mercy-killing a relationship, and guilt over being “the other woman.” Keep reading »
There I was in the grocery, pressing the ends of a cantaloupe and sniffing it, trying to decide if it was ripe. Across the produce section, I spotted my landlord. I waved, a normal courtesy I extended the two times a year I happened upon him in real life. He left his cart, and came rushing towards me. As he came closer, I realized he was mad. “Why haven’t you paid your rent in four months?” he yelled.
I felt adrenaline surge through my body. What was he talking about? I always paid my rent. Never so much as a day late. Every month, a week before it was due, I wrote a check to my roommate and best friend, Leah*. Keep reading »
I am 25 years old with lots of girlfriends and a sizable collection of purses. Reunions with old pals usually involve squeals or hefty grins and, yes, cute bunnies make me go “aww.” For some girls, these moments of elated feminine energy are non-stop, but I can only take small doses.
A former tomboy, at 13 I was jumping in mud puddles (still am), and at 18, I was wearing torn jeans with paint spots. It wasn’t until I was 21 that I learned how to walk in high heels. Keep reading »
Can men and women be just friends? If you ask any Hollywood film producer, the answer is a resounding “no.” Hollywood’s magic formula for success seems to take seemingly platonic friends, and make them “suddenly realize” how in love they are. (See: “When Harry Met Sally” for proof.) But what about real life? Are platonic friendships between men and women ever truly just that?
Stories of truly platonic relationships do exist: Witness our Jessica’s story of platonic friendship, after the jump… Keep reading »