Can men and women be just friends? If you ask any Hollywood film producer, the answer is a resounding “no.” Hollywood’s magic formula for success seems to take seemingly platonic friends, and make them “suddenly realize” how in love they are. (See: “When Harry Met Sally” for proof.) But what about real life? Are platonic friendships between men and women ever truly just that?
Stories of truly platonic relationships do exist: Witness our Jessica’s story of platonic friendship, after the jump… Keep reading »
When it comes to my long-distance girlfriends, I know what it takes to keep those relationships tight despite the years and the miles apart: a willingness to pick up the phone. If we’re not having heart-to-hearts once in a while — say, every couple of months — then I’m not feeling like the connection is all that. A good, long chat between two girlfriends is like sex is to a couple, and if a relationship doesn’t get fed, it’s going to starve to death.
But the truth is, these days I feel like my closest ladies are starving me and I’m starving them. I’m not sure whether to blame our busy lives or the fact that technology has zapped all the intimacy out of communication and also keeps us too busy for the real thing. I’m talking to you, Facebook.
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As a divorced woman in my 30s, meeting a man wasn’t always a top priority, but when I gradually started dating again, I called in my two wingwomen who were also on the prowl, Dana and Mary, for support. Both of these beautiful 30-somethings have had my back for years. They’ve been my wingwomen in everything from moving into a new apartment to keeping me sane throughout my divorce. I couldn’t have adjusted to single life again without them.
So when Friday night came and I was raring to go out, I called my girls. We put on our heels, stepped up our makeup, and headed to our favorite lounge hoping to meet the men of our dreams. Keep reading »
If you are planning on making your marriage last, steer clear of divorced people. Yes—break out your gas mask, because a new study shows that divorce is highly contagious. Researchers found that having a close friend or co-worker who’s divorced increases your chances of getting divorced by 75 percent. Even knowing a friend of friend going through a divorce increases your chances of splitsville by 33 percent. Researchers call this phenomenon “divorce clustering.” So why is divorce so contagious? Watching friends go through a divorce is thought to make one look at their own relationship under a microscope. That and being surrounded by divorced folks lessens the stigma. Screw the swine flu; divorce is the new pandemic. [Daily Mail] Keep reading »
Last weekend, I was hanging out with a male friend who I’ll call Stan. Over the course of our convo, he brought up a mutual friend who writes a rather detailed blog about her sex life. Stan was obviously disturbed by the amount of sex she appeared to be having, and the circumstances under which she’s having it. He was so perturbed that, well, the term “slut” may have been thrown around once or twice.
I, of course, objected and a fight ensued. “Look, Chloe,” Stan said. “You’re a very opinionated woman …”
I couldn’t help but notice that the tone he used for the words “slut” and “opinionated” sounded exactly the same. Keep reading »
Some women are forever attracted to jerks. Others are great at building healthy relationships with good guys. Still others are addicted to unrequited love. Everyone has a pattern. Me—I find myself, on repeat, forging relationships with men who don’t think we’re actually dating. In other words, I’m an expert at the “fakelationship.”
So what exactly is a fakelationship, you ask? If you’ve ever been in one, you know it. It’s a “friendship” where you text, email, talk on the phone, and hang out pretty much constantly. Where if 48 hours goes by without some kind of contact, you feel like something big is missing from your day. In some fakelationships, you hook up while maintaining that you’re “just friends.” In others, it feels purely platonic, though the level of emotional dependence is way stronger than a typical friendship. Think “When Harry Met Sally,” before the titular characters realize they’re actually in love.
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Our editor Amelia is turning 30 in a week and her essay on the subject really resonated with Frisky readers, both younger and older than 30. With that in mind, we’ll be reposting our “Before 30” series, which originally ran late last year, over the next few weeks. Enjoy!
From the time you were in pre-school and your mom picked your play dates, you’ve been building relationships with people. And sometimes, when you have things in common and get along with one another, you become friends. You might think that you have enough friends in your life, but really, can you ever have too many? Plus, you never know when you’re going to need a hand saw, so you better have someone in your cell phone who owns one. Keep reading »
You know what’s nice? When you meet someone and they’re awesome and you like them and they like you and BONUS, their friends RULE. And you know what sucks? The opposite of that. When the dude you’re into has friends that are just THE WORST. Still, I’ve been known to suffer through a lot of beer guzzling with a dude’s former frat pals or a guy’s practically mute guitar-picking crew, just because I like him. But how much is a man willing to deal with when it comes to the woman he likes and that posse of gossipy bitches she calls her “best friends”? I’m lucky — I think my friends are the awesomest chicks in all of awesometown. But what if, say, my besties were made up of Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Kristen Stewart, and Heidi Montag (or, for visual purposes, the Heathers)? How would a dude deal with a woman whose friendship circle included those three for company? I went to the you-know-whos to find out. Keep reading »
Annika’s post this week about the difficulty in making friends as a grown-up got such a huge response, I thought it warranted a reply here. Who knew so many of us had a friend shortage? Well, as someone who grew up on the move — I lived in 10 different homes in four different countries on three different continents before the age of 18 — my friend-making skills were constantly put to test. As a result, I learned some tips that have served me well as an adult well beyond college, when making friends was as easy as swinging a 6-pack within a 5-mile radius of campus. After reading through all 60+ comments (and counting) on yesterday’s post, I’ve compiled some of the best reader advice as well as some of my own favorite tips for making new friends, after the jump. Keep reading »
You know that awkward stage between acquaintance and friend? That in flux place where you chat whenever you happen to run into each other but never make actual plans to see one another? I am there a lot. I meet someone and we hit it off, but then what? We become Facebook friends? How do you really turn a few fun chats at the coffee machine into an actual friendship? Well, luckily for you I have often been in new situations where I didn’t know a single soul, so I have been forced to cast aside my shyness and forge ahead to build new friendships. Here are my tried and true techniques for turning a casual acquaintance into a friend… Keep reading »