Here is a fact: I have never had a f**k buddy/friend with benefits. This is likely for the same reason it’s become common knowledge that I am incapable of having a one-night stand without getting a case of the sadz — I cannot stop myself from associating sex with love. The nature of a f**k buddy situation is that the two people involved like each other as people and as sex objects, but not as boyfriend/girlfriend material. The difference between a friends with benefits situation and a one-night-stand, of course, is that usually in the case of FWB, the two people involved already know each other and, in theory, have ruled out any interest in the other person as a potential mate, at least for the time being. Now, I’ve had one-night-stands with friends and thankfully have maintained those friendships even after our clothes were back on, but a successful, ongoing, fun friends with benefits situation has eluded me. Well, here’s a confession: I want one. Bad. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: friends with benefits
Don’t worry — Ashton hasn’t left Demi Moore for a younger woman. He and Natalie Portman are just filming a scene for their movie “Friends With Benefits.” Closeups of people kissing make me feel weird. [Marina del Rey, CA, 5/14/10] Keep reading »
Remember when you were in high school and college and dating really just meant “hanging out”? Once you reach a certain age — ahem, 21, when you can legally go out to a restaurant and order a bottle of wine — the definition of dating becomes much, much simpler. In order to be dating someone, you need to be going out on dates, among other things. After the jump, 25 signs you’re not actually dating. Keep reading »
Another day, another wasteful scientific study about “hooking up.” According to a new University of Iowa study on ““The Contexts of Sexual Involvement and Concurrent Sexual Partnerships,” people who are engaged in a “friends with benefits” relationship are more likely to have sex with other people outside that relationship. In other words, a bunch of researchers got together and determined that if you’re having casual but regular sex with a friend, you’re more likely to also be having casual sex with other people at the same time. Keep reading »
Usually, this story would just be about Justin Timberlake landing a role in a new film called “Friends With Benefits.” But there is a bigger issue here, other than questioning whether JT can successfully act in something that isn’t “Saturday Night Live.” See, Justin’s “Friends With Benefits” is just one of three projects currently in the works with the same title. You’d think this title would’ve been used already, since the term has bopped around our lexicon for years, but it hasn’t. It looks like the entertainment world can use a little help deciding whom to bestow the coveted title to. Read on and decide who you think deserves the prize. [Deadline] Keep reading »
Breaking news! Hooking up won’t lead to ruination, death by AIDS, and a locust plague. A recent study by University of Minnesota School of Public Health found young adults who had casual sex were in a no worse emotional state than ones who had sex in committed relationships.
Researchers spoke to 1,311 young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 about their last sexual encounter and found that the one-fifth who last had casual sex and the four-fifths all felt emotionally similar afterward. “We were so surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, an assistant professor at UM. “The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, ‘friends with benefits,’ and hooking up is hurtful. That’s what we’ve been teaching kids for decades.”
Obvi. That’s because conventional wisdom is crap. Keep reading »
When I first met my good buddy, Zac, three years ago, I had a huge crush on him, but he let me know he didn’t feel the same and the feeling eventually went away. We’ve been on good terms since then, and recently we decided to become f**k buddies. Things have been going alright, and we really haven’t been experiencing any of the usual problems associated with the friends with benefits situation. The thing is, I sometimes want a more intimate relationship. I get the urge to just hug him or kiss him or the want to be held by him, and I look forward to the times we get to be alone together, even if we’re just watching tv and doing homework (we’re roommates too — easy booty call). I’ve started having daydreams about him, and I know it’s a bad move but I feel myself slipping back into the old crush habit.
He’s always given very mixed signals to me, one of the things that led to problems between us earlier in our friendship when I wanted things to move in a more steady direction with him but he turned me down. Our level of sexual chemistry is extremely high, and we’re so close on a friendship level that I feel like I almost want more. Am I being naive in thinking and hoping that a sex buddy could turn into something more? I don’t know whether to bring it up and risk ruining what we already share, let it go and keep heading down this path, or cutting it off before I get my heart broken. — More Than A Buddy
I’m 23 years old and have been friends with a 26-year-old guy–let’s call him Ben–for about two years. We met online, and instantly hit it off. We started doing the unofficial dating thing for about four months before I talked to him about making it official, because for all intents and purposes we were bf/gf anyway. Ben said he wasn’t ready for a relationship at that point, and as secretly devastated as I was, I cooled things off in the sex department and remained his friend.
Fast forward to two years later: We’re seriously besties, see each other at least twice a week, and text daily. He’s very affectionate towards me, and while we sleep in the bed and he’s a serious cuddler, we don’t have sex. Or kiss. Though he does say I’m beautiful, and devotes most of his attention to me when we’re out, even with his friends. He’s taken me camping with his family, and I’m always invited along when his parents come down from Michigan for the weekend to hang out and have dinner. He’s a very sweet, quiet, not-really-sexual kinda guy, but I’ve realized recently that I’m very not over him.
I recently revisited his original profile on the dating site on which we met, and it’s still active. On it, he even says that he’s been thinking about wanting a serious relationship with someone. Um, hello? What about me? I feel he’s sending me mixed messages that I don’t know how to read. While I do want to know how he feels about me, I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. I really can’t see myself being friends with him if he started dating some other chick (or if I started dating some other dude, for that matter), but I don’t want to give him an ultimatum. I definitely feel like he has feelings for me, but is maybe feeling the way I am? Like he doesn’t want to hurt the friendship? I don’t know … any words of wisdom on how I should go about handling this?
Sex sells and Madonna’s made 500 million bucks at it. But even M, one of the most lusted after women in the world and is the author of a porn tome simply called Sex, can get the brush off by a boy toy. In a recent interview, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s supposed future husband, said, “She is my friend, just a friend.” As if! Haven’t we all heard the “just friends” line once or twice? There’s plenty of bad news we’d rather hear from a guy that’s seen us naked than that kinda of buddy line. A bunch of not-so-hot things we’d rather hear from guy, after the jump…
Friends with benefits? Been there, done that, and now, I can’t go for that! Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for free love, but there’s something about the repeat offense of a dude who will do you over and over again, hang out, and share his thoughts and feelings, but is too scared to say you’re in a relationship. Call me old fashioned, but what’s he so afraid of — treating a lady right? Last time I checked, combining sex with friendship is the very definition of a boyfriend! As if day-to-day diddling wasn’t hard enough to navigate, now that Valentine’s Day is rearing its ugly head, FWBs just seem even more useless. Here’s why… Keep reading »