We’ve all been there. Someone you were hot and heavy with will suddenly disappear, as if wiped from this earth, only to reappear in the form of a typo-laden text message one night while you’re doing a face mask in your sweatpants. Like that mosquito that you try endlessly to kill before going to sleep, this text irks you. Maybe you were bummed about the way things ended, and you’re considering entertaining this missive. Maybe you hate this person forever, but didn’t mind having sex with them and could be persuaded to do it again. Communication these days is so very tricky, but never fear, I am here for you. In this day and age, it can be difficult to figure out what precisely constitutes a booty call, and how exactly you should respond to it. Whatever your situation may be, you’re facing the age old question — is it a booty call or nah? Here are some situations you might find yourself in, along my expert assessment so that you might tackle these situations head on. Keep reading »
Nobody handles The Talk very well. Usually, it’s a stilted affair, capable of rendering even the most confidently grown to their pre-teen self, stuttering and drawing circles in the condensation left by their wineglass, assiduously avoiding eye contact. Defining the relationship, or DTR, if you’re of the ilk that favors cutesy acronyms, is a necessary evil, but something that not a single soul is very good at. The nature of modern dating is such that the traditional markers of what make a relationship real change every day and it can seem like there’s a decided lack of stability. It’s not as easy as getting someone’s letterman jacket and walking down Main Street to the soda fountain anymore. The way we date now easily lends itself to shirking real commitment. First dates in the traditional sense are replaced by weird group outings in which you attempt to get to know someone you made goopy eyes with at a bar while surrounded by a buffer three people deep, including his friends from college and that dude at work, Josh. It’s a honest miracle that anyone even makes it to The Talk, because the obstacle course that stands between you and a relationship is harrowing.
The fun doesn’t end once you’ve actually sat down and faced the person of your intent, with all your emotions out on the table. The kind of relationship you can neatly explain to your mom in a hastily composed text message is a thing of the past. It makes sense that the end result of a nebulous and frankly, confusing wooing process, is also difficult to pin down. With that in mind, here are some possible results of the dreaded Talk. Keep reading »
In my two-part travel sex episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I rather cynically declared that the entire male population of New York City is unfuckable. That, I am willing to admit, was a bit of an exaggeration. Or at least I hope that it is, because I’ve decided that it’s impractical and silly to rely on my relatively infrequent travel schedule as the only opportunity I take to get laid. Therefore, I’m in the market for a fuck buddy, aka someone to sex on the regular without commitment. While I keep my eye peeled for possible candidates, I’m reminding myself, and now you, of six very important rules for having a successful friends with benefits relationship. Watch above!
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There he is. Your eyes meet. The butterflies in your stomach are loud enough for the entire room to hear. Your palms moisten and your palpitating heart seems to want to beat out of your chest. You muster up the courage to walk to him, but someone has you beat.
Think quick. You make a detour to the bathroom, as to not draw too much attention to yourself. Who was that girl? It doesn’t matter anyway, right? The two of you only casually hookup.
Friends with benefits, hooking up, whatever you decide to call it — gets messy. Sure, you get the “buddy and the boo,” but tippy toeing around those invisible boundaries of “Am I wrong for feeling this way?” gets old. A casual relationship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a clear division of what you’re willing to accept. Read more at College Candy…
Friends with benefits often get a bum rap. But I am happy to report that they are acing it in the condom department. An online survey, the results of which were published in the Journal of Sex Research, found that FWBs are the most likely to use condoms during sex. Of the 376 mostly twentysomethings who were questioned, about half said they were involved in a FWB situation. On the downside, the FWBers reported being less sexually satisfied and less able to discuss their sexual desires with their partners. No surprise there. Keep reading »
Having been a fan of ”Breaking Upwards,” the heartbreaking debut film from co-writers/co-stars/cohabitators Daryl Wein and Zoe Lister-Jones, I couldn’t wait to see the couple’s follow up, ”Lola Versus.” Starring mumblecore goddess Greta Gerwig, ”Lola Versus” tells the story of a woman on the verge of 30 who’s left understandibly devastated after her fiance dumps her three weeks before the wedding. However, after salty food and casual sex doesn’t help fill the void, she must figure out how to move on with her life without sliding back into the arms of her self-centered ex.
In rom-coms such as this, it’s easy to pin the leading lady’s happiness on whether or not she ends up with a guy at the end of the film, which got me thinking: What if some of our most adored romantic comedies had ended up with different outcomes? More specifically, what would’ve happened if these “meet cute”-ies didn’t opt for the embrace of Prince Charming? From Vivian Ward in ”Pretty Woman” to Jamie Rellis in ”Friends With Benefits,” let’s spitball about what would’ve happened after the credits rolled if these leading ladies had chosen themselves over whatever handsome—but probably jerky—suitor.
Leslie Simon is the author of Geek Girls Unite: How Fangirls, Bookworms, Indie Chicks and Other Misfits Are Taking Over the World. Follow her musings on her blog and on Twitter.