When I first met my good buddy, Zac, three years ago, I had a huge crush on him, but he let me know he didn’t feel the same and the feeling eventually went away.  We’ve been on good terms since then, and recently we decided to become f**k buddies. Things have been going alright, and we really haven’t been experiencing any of the usual problems associated with the friends with benefits situation. The thing is, I sometimes want a more intimate relationship. I get the urge to just hug him or kiss him or the want to be held by him, and I look forward to the times we get to be alone together, even if we’re just watching tv and doing homework (we’re roommates too—easy booty call).  I’ve started having daydreams about him, and I know it’s a bad move but I feel myself slipping back into the old crush habit.
He’s always given very mixed signals to me, one of the things that led to problems between us earlier in our friendship when I wanted things to move in a more steady direction with him but he turned me down. Our level of sexual chemistry is extremely high, and we’re so close on a friendship level that I feel like I almost want more. Am I being naive in thinking and hoping that a sex buddy could turn into something more?  I don’t know whether to bring it up and risk ruining what we already share, let it go and keep heading down this path, or cutting it off before I get my heart broken.  — More Than A Buddy

I’m 23 years old and have been friends with a 26-year-old guy—let’s call him Ben—for about two years. We met online, and instantly hit it off. We started doing the unofficial dating thing for about four months before I talked to him about making it official, because for all intents and purposes we were bf/gf anyway. Ben said he wasn’t ready for a relationship at that point, and as secretly devastated as I was, I cooled things off in the sex department and remained his friend.

Fast forward to two years later: We’re seriously besties, see each other at least twice a week, and text daily. He’s very affectionate towards me, and while we sleep in the bed and he’s a serious cuddler, we don’t have sex. Or kiss. Though he does say I’m beautiful, and devotes most of his attention to me when we’re out, even with his friends. He’s taken me camping with his family, and I’m always invited along when his parents come down from Michigan for the weekend to hang out and have dinner. He’s a very sweet, quiet, not-really-sexual kinda guy, but I’ve realized recently that I’m very not over him.

I recently revisited his original profile on the dating site on which we met, and it’s still active. On it, he even says that he’s been thinking about wanting a serious relationship with someone. Um, hello? What about me? I feel he’s sending me mixed messages that I don’t know how to read. While I do want to know how he feels about me, I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. I really can’t see myself being friends with him if he started dating some other chick (or if I started dating some other dude, for that matter), but I don’t want to give him an ultimatum. I definitely feel like he has feelings for me, but is maybe feeling the way I am? Like he doesn’t want to hurt the friendship? I don’t know ... any words of wisdom on how I should go about handling this?

Sex sells and Madonna’s made 500 million bucks at it. But even M, one of the most lusted after women in the world and is the author of a porn tome simply called Sex, can get the brush off by a boy toy. In a recent interview, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s supposed future husband, said, “She is my friend, just a friend.” As if! Haven’t we all heard the “just friends” line once or twice? There’s plenty of bad news we’d rather hear from a guy that’s seen us naked than that kinda of buddy line. A bunch of not-so-hot things we’d rather hear from guy, after the jump…

Friends with benefits? Been there, done that, and now, I can’t go for that! Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for free love, but there’s something about the repeat offense of a dude who will do you over and over again, hang out, and share his thoughts and feelings, but is too scared to say you’re in a relationship.  Call me old fashioned, but what’s he so afraid of—treating a lady right? Last time I checked, combining sex with friendship is the very definition of a boyfriend! As if day-to-day diddling wasn’t hard enough to navigate, now that Valentine’s Day is rearing its ugly head, FWBs just seem even more useless. Here’s why…

Not long ago, I met a guy that reminded me of that sexy NPR storyteller Ira Glass. Instantly, I fell in nerd-love with this doppelganger. After dating for a while, though, we realized we had only one thing in common: sex. So we decided to be friends with benefits. According to a Michigan State University study, sixty-percent of college co-eds have been involved in an FWB relationship, and plenty of my thirty-something girlfriends were doing it to stay satisfied, so I figured I’d give the laid back, no-romantic-attachments approach to getting laid a whirl. A year later, faux-Ira and I still hang out and hump. After our most recent rendezvous last weekend, I began to wonder what I’m doing. What are the real benefits to friends with benefits? Sure, now I have an in-case-of-sexual-emergency-hit-Glass-lookalike. At the same time, I’ve started to realize my situation is causing me to question the meaning of friendship, challenging my chances at romances, and wobbling my emotional stability.

There are times in every woman’s life where her body wants either what her heart can’t handle or her brain knows better. You know the drill — you want a man, but not a relationship. Or, more to the point, you want some loving, but don’t want any complications. All the booty; none of the baggage.

Maybe you’re wildly attracted to a dude physically, but find him mentally or morally lacking—like a tanning technician or a bounty hunter. There’s no way you’d ever date him, but why should you deny yourself the pleasure assets might provide? Answer: Not a reason in the world.