After seeing “Bruno,” one of my male friends went on a 5-minute rant about how penises in movies are always played for laughs. In his opinion, the nudity law of cinema is that when a woman’s naked, it’s completely serious or titillating, but when a peen pops up on screen, it’s meant to be hilarious. He repeatedly asked the question—why?

2008 was a year filled with ups and downs.  We laughed, we cried, and we captured it all on camera!  While 2009 promises plenty of tears—thanks to Brody Jenner’s upcoming show “Bromance,”, we must honor the whimper that was the past 12 months.  So, to commemorate those who weren’t afraid to just let it all out, here are the Best Cries Of 2008:

10. Kenley Was Finally Humbled On “Project Runway”

Project Runway’s most hatable hack, Kenley, wouldn’t even tone it down when Tim Gunn gave her a talking to, but Diane von Furstenberg was finally able to break her! Just the mere sight of the fashion icon turned Kenley into mush.  Damn, wrap dresses really do amazing things for women!

MUSIC

• Jennifer Hudson Jennifer Hudson I don’t want to hate on American Apparel, because I love it, but seriously, Oscar-winning Jennifer Hudson needs to fire her stylist. On the cover of her first solo record, she’s in a basic dress that hipsters have been humping in for years—boring! She’s too fabulous for that fashion faux pas! Maybe she’s just surrounding herself with the wrong kind of people, like her fiancé, Punk, from VH1’s “I Love New York 2.” Anyway, my apologies for putting the look over the sound, but the music isn’t much to write about. It’s just Top 40-style R&B. Still, she’s got a great voice and I’m sure you’ll be hearing “Spotlight” while you’re shopping at your drug store in the near future.

Russell Brand quotes Oscar Wilde as easily as he rocks his ridiculously teased hair.  He’s sexy, he’s suave, but, above all, he’s smart and he isn’t afraid to speak his mind.  Despite getting flack for openly teasing the Jonas Brothers about their chastity rings and the “retarded cowboy President” Bush at the VMA’s last night, I thought [Me too!—Editor] Brand stole the show with his off-handed hilarious comments—of course an accent makes everything sound better. Sure, the hole in the ozone is probably caused by the amount of hairspray he uses on his hair-do, but damn the boy is fine and funny!  From guyliner to his groovy anti-establishment attitude, who is this one man British invasion named Russell Brand?

Picture for a moment, if you will, the opening sequence of a film. A romantic comedy. Close, on the female lead, she stands in her apartment a puzzled look on her face – darn it! She wants love! Dating is hilarious! Sex is hilarious! People chase other people through airports and make embarrassing speeches at corporate functions all in the name of L-O-V-E. This female lead is unemployed. She is a slacker. She’s uncertain what she wants to do with her life, but she is certain that she’s ten to fifteen pounds overweight. She engages in recreational drug use, sometimes even drinking bong water. She fears change and cries at the drop of a hat. But boy is she lovable!

Yesterday we posted a review of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, a movie which has an R-rating despite the fact that there’s a whole lotta peen to be seen. Apparently, the film was able to avoid an NC-17 rating because the ratings board told the filmmakers that star Jason Segal’s penis would have to remain flaccid during the scene in which it’s exposed—an erect penis would have garnered an NC-17 rating. We’re not quite sure why a shriveled penis is less “offensive” than a hard one. Is it because a hard penis implies sexual arousal and THAT is what is inappropriate for children under 17? Segal says that in order to comply with the board’s standards, while still not embarrassing himself on a celluloid with a cold and shriveled package, he went for just slightly engorged. We asked our friend Jon how he would do such a thing, and Jon said that he probably got himself aroused and then let his boner subside a bit before filming began, getting that “meaty” effect. We swear, we have not learned so much about penises in our entire life as we have in the last two days. Anyway, what do you think about how this movie is rated? Do you think it’s strange that the film ratings board makes such a, um, stiff distinction between the two?

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Starring Jason Segel, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell
Okay, ladies this is a very special addition of “We See Chick Flicks”. Both because I loved, loved, loved this movie and for the PENIS factor. Yup, you’ve probably heard about it, and maybe some of you have already seen it, but this movie is very, how shall I put it, frontally loaded. And we’re not talking a little peek, we’re talking the WHOLE pecker (and might we add, the 6-foot-something actor shows his…height). We’re talking full view, slightly hard schlong. Most movies who deign to show the whole male form, wimp out with a little glimpse of the turtle head, but Jason worked hard (pun intended) to show us his full potential. While getting fully hard would have warranted an X-rating, he got right up to that point, a point which we will refer to as “getting long” [Meaty!—Editor], and let me tell you, he’s got nothing to be ashamed of. Now. Moving on.

I am so excited to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall, especially since the star, Jason Segal (who also stars on How I Met Your Mother), has an entire scene in full-frontal exposure. He’s hot, in a funny, goofy guy sort of way.