Tag Archives: football

The 11 Funniest Names In Football (Past & Present)

The 11 Funniest Names In Football (Past And Present)

A few weeks ago, I was watching the Packers- Seahawks game, when it sounded like the commentator referred to one of the Green Bay players as “Ha Ha Clinton-Dix.” All of a sudden, I was paying close attention because I thought I missed an inappropriate political joke. When the announcers continued to say it, I immediately Googled Ha Ha Clinton-Dix to find that he is, in fact, a Safety on the Packers. BEST. NAME. EVER. Now, whenever one of my friends sends me a funny text message, instead of replying “Ha Ha,” I send them a photo of my favorite new player. But he’s not the only man with an unfortunate moniker to grace the NFL. Here are 11 players, both past and present, whose names alone make watching football worthwhile. Keep reading »

The End Zone: The 5 Types Of People In Your Fantasy League

The End Zone: The 5 Types Of People In Your Fantasy League

We’re coming up on Week 4, the season is almost a third over already, and if you’re in a fantasy league, this means you’ve had plenty of time to see the true colors of the people you fake-own football teams with: and as it turns out, that color is obnoxious. If you have the misfortune of being a slave to your lineup week in and week out, you’ve probably met one, or all, of these fantasy league jerks before. Keep reading »

Mom, Teens Allegedly Draw 100-Yard Penis On Football Field

Mom, Teens Allegedly Draw 100-Yard Penis On Football Field

A 50-year-old mom and two teenagers are the prime suspects in a vandalism case that’s tainted a football field in Temperance, Michigan.

Police have accused the trio of using grass killer to burn a 100-yard-long image of male genitalia into the turf, reports WDIV, disrupting the Bedford High School Kicking Mules schedule and causing between $15,000 and $20,000 in damage. Read more on Huffington Post Weird News…

Firing Roger Goodell Isn’t Enough To Save The NFL

Firing Roger Goodell Isn't Enough To Save The NFL

Roger Goodell has to go.” A lot has been said of this over the past eight years since Goodell succeeded Paul Tagliabue as NFL Commissioner. Since then Goodell has endured all manner of controversies, from Ben Roethlisberger’s sexual assault charges to Michael Vick’s dogfighting ring to the bounty scandal, in which he had to suspend Super Bowl-winning head coach Sean Payton for a full season due to the revelation that the New Orleans Saints had been paying players extra stipends for excessively violent tackles. Keep reading »

Arizona Cardinals Running Back Jonathan Dwyer Arrested For Head Butting His Wife

Arizona Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer headbutted his wife, breaking her nose, after she turned him down for sex. He proceeded to lock himself in a bathroom and threaten to kill himself in front of his wife and son if she told the police about the assault.

So that’s four NFL players in some kind of legal trouble over domestic violence in 11 days. Meanwhile, the NFL has been making statements about women as “matriarchs,” citing our community-building skills, ability to produce and raise children, purchasing power, and overall domesticity as the reasons that the NFL likes us. I’m so flattered. I know I was a beacon of domesticity when I yelled so hard at the Patriots for losing to the Giants in Super Bowl XLVI that I had a blood pressure spike and almost fainted. Keep reading »

Chicago Bear Brandon Marshall Is Being Sued For Domestic Abuse

First Ray Rice, then Adrian Peterson, now Brandon Marshall: A third NFL player in just 10 days has been brought into the spotlight for allegedly abusing someone close to him.

It’s not that September 2014 is just the equivalent of a full moon for NFL players, when all of a sudden they become violent toward their girlfriends, fiancées, wives, and children. It happens year round. Ten NFL players in the last two years have been arrested on domestic violence charges. Keep reading »

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