Gather round children and I shall share with you the secrets of the world’s laziest cook. That’s me! I come from a short line of lazy chefs. Namely, my mom, whose favorite prepared meal is Fritos and onion dip and my dad who makes a mean cereal and milk. Needless to say, I am self-taught in the kitchen. My cooking limitations became more troublesome after a series of breakups with boyfriends whom I persuaded to cook for me left all alone to fend for myself for every meal. I had no option but to learn how to become a kick ass lazy chef. I usually end up dining out or getting take out — ideal for the eater willing to exert minimal effort. On the rare occasion that I feel moved to cook (I do possess a preternatural feel for building flavor) or I am forced to prepare a meal (like if I just got sex or I’m trying to!), I have a few go-to meals that I can easily prepare using my one pan, three bowls, set of dull steak knives, and the other pathetic contents of my kitchen. Allow yourself to be dazzled by my never-before-seen collection of lazy people recipes. Bon appetit, lazy peeps!
Last week, in honor of our mission to “Get Bitchin’ In The Kitchen,” I asked you to send me your favorite recipes for a forthcoming slideshow. Well, I got so many recipes that one slideshow just ain’t gonna suffice. Instead, I’m going to post the recipes over the course of the week — and I’m still accepting more, so send ‘em (to firstname.lastname@example.org) if you got ‘em! First up, three yummy pasta recipes from readers Sarah, Allison, and Megan!
Last night, I went to my local crappy grocery store in search of something to cook for dinner. Bypassing the chicken (it looked gross) and beef, I stood in front of the pork section and stared. I like to cook pork, but I usually do a full pork loin and eat it over the course of a few days — but pork loin takes time to marinate if you want it to be really tasty and I needed to eat something now. So I grabbed a pack of three pork chops and thought, Game on, piggy. Keep reading »
Hooray! It’s time to Get Bitchin’ In The Kitchen, which means I’ll be sharing a new Random Single Gal Recipe every day for the next two weeks. The only thing that makes these recipes perfect for single gals is that you should feel free to make it for yourself and only yourself, if you so choose. After all, as a single gal myself, that’s how I cook. Today, I am sharing rmy absolute favorite chicken recipe, as well as a recipe for a simple and fresh green bean salad.
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Men of the world, in case you missed the manual, which details all the things you should understand about women, let me give you a refresher on item #503: Food is just as important, if not more important, to [most of] us as love – oh, and we often use one as a substitute for the other. It is just as important to me that we are compatible at the dinner table as we are in the bedroom. At the end of the day, I’m just looking for someone to eat with. If you want to fall in love with me, accept my other love– food. Acknowledge me, acknowledge my odd eating habits. Love me, love my delicate palette. Understand me, understand that I would eat olives with every meal if I could. Really want to find out what makes me tick? Share a meal with me. Keep reading »
During Kim Kardashian’s Wedding Special, it was not failing to include her groom in her venue choice or that her sister accused said groom of being opportunistic that struck a nerve with me. It was when Rob Kardashian, Kim’s younger brother, got made fun of by his mother Kris for having a fat butt.
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October 15th will be an historic day in the world of misguided celebrity merchandise as it marks the “unveiling” of The Situation’s couture lollipop. Yes, oh, yes, The Situation collaborated with the Sugar Factory to create this bejeweled, Italian treat for your sucking pleasure. Pair the pop with a shot of Devotion vodka to enhance its natural guido flavor. Because fabulous people deserve a designer lolly. At $25 a piece and $12 for refills (huh?), these suckers should be flying off shelves. Flying. [Bon Appetit]
If you like deep-dish pizza, you’re a lot likelier than fans of thin crust to have conservative politics, according to Hunch, a taste-tracking website that cross-referenced millions of responses to discover that the differences between left and right don’t end at the dinner table. Among its findings:
- Liberals are slightly more likely to prefer their vegetables fresh instead of cooked, and more likely to eat fruit at least once a week.
- Conservatives tend to believe there’s little nutritional difference between organic and processed foods.
Read more… Keep reading »
That’s one reason for every gram of sugar in a large Baskin Robbins Chocolate Oreo Shake. If that doesn’t deter you from sucking one down, let me call your attention to the 59 grams of saturated fat. Oh, and the fact that it somehow contains crustaceans. What? [Digg] Keep reading »