Tag Archives: food

Never, Ever, Ever Stop Eating

Never, Ever, Ever Stop Eating

Last week was Body Confidence Week in the UK, a social media marketing campaign led by Dove (of course). I watched on Sunday as the UK body positivity organization Shape Your Culture got the hashtag #fatisnotafeeling to trend on Twitter in response to Facebook adding “fat” and “ugly” as emotions for status updates. Keep reading »

When Breast Cancer Awareness Goes Wrong: Penis & Vagina Cookies

Happy Breast Cancer Awareness month! Would you care for a pink ribbon cookie? Or is that … wait … are those dicks? Or are they vaginas?

Imagine one woman’s surprise when she was perusing the baked goods in her University’s cafeteria and she stumbled upon these bad boys. Thankfully, she uploaded a photo to Reddit to share with the world, providing us a photographic PSA about the dangers of pink icing, and how virtually anything you “design” may look like a private part. Bake with caution, friends. Also, check your boobies.

10 Types Of Customers You Meet While Working In The Whole Foods Bakery

There were a great many things that I enjoyed about working at Whole Foods, particularly in the bakery — not least of all the enthusiastic parents and excited kids, the repeat customers who considered me and my coworkers a sort of tangential social circle, and anyone who was psyched as fuck to get a free cookie (I was profligate with the free cookies). However, because the store markets itself as if it is necessarily moral and responsible to shop there, it also necessarily comes along with some very colorful personalities. I think that some of the people who shopped in the bakery, specifically, had real existential crises: They were in a store that was supposed to be “healthy,” but here they were confronted with fat- and sugar-laden cake! Their brains short-circuited and they became the following people: Keep reading »

Here’s Your New Hobby: Cake Decorating!

I taught myself how to decorate cakes with YouTube videos during a year in which I had a job so boring and soul-draining that, had I not started decorating cakes, I surely would have gone insane. The following year, I got a job decorating cakes, and stuck with it for three years. My training was finished on the job, and with practice I got, well, really, really good.

The point is, decorating a cake like a boss is not that hard. You can do it at home, and you only need a few supplies, time to practice and some patience. I’m going to give you a selection of YouTube videos about the various basic steps of assembling and decorating a cake whose advice I can endorse. Keep reading »

Now We Know How Much Butter Is In A Cronut

Dominique Ansel handed over his cronut recipe on “Good Morning America,” and while Gothamist claims that 26 tablespoons of butter is a “whopping” amount for the entire recipe, I beg to differ. If you want croissants, you’re going to have to accept the fact that you’re eating more than two tablespoons of butter per croissant. What really takes the cronut over the top is the “grapeseed oil as needed” in which you fry the dough.

Also, don’t be appalled at the amount of time it takes — y’all ever made croissants? It’s always a three-day process. Beautiful things take time and attention. Croissants are beautiful things. Oh, and it is worth it. Homemade croissants are ambrosia. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: If You’re Eating Smelly Food On The Train, I Hate You

Frisky Rant: If You're Eating Smelly Food On The Train, I Hate You

I ask very little of the New York subway system. I want trains to come when they’re supposed to, I want them to not break down while I’m riding them, and I want to feel safe traveling from Point A to Point B. Sometimes we’re shoved up against some sweaty man’s wet armpit because we have no choice but to pack into the 6 train like sardines in a can, and other times we must endure the drunken mumblings and rants of fellow riders— this is all to be expected. Some disgusting humans even pick their noses and clip their nails on the train, which is almost forgivable knowing that those individuals will never be loved. But if there’s one thing I DESPISE, it’s stinking up the train with your food. Please, for the love of God, stop. Keep reading »

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