On a recent episode of Conan O’Brien, “Masters of Sex” star Lizzy Caplan explained that while she didn’t grow up in a “naked house,” her parents had one super sexy book that she used to reference all the time. “We had an X-Rated cook book that was a gag gift from my parents’ wedding I think. My friends and I would take it into my room and look at it and it was really…an X-Rated cook book,” she revealed.
And what is an X-Rated cookbook, you ask? Good question. Conan was wondering the same thing as us. Luckily Lizzy elaborated:
“For example, you could make a tart that looked like a breast. Just use a raspberry as a nipple. That was one of the things in the cookbook. One of the things that stands out the most to me though, and can I still picture it when I close my eyes, is well, uh, the meatloaf that looked like a huge dick.”
In honor of Lizzy’s favorite X-Rated cook book, we hunted down the most horrifying, edible dicks that Pinterest et al has to offer. Click on the gallery to see for yourself! [ONTD]
Whether Stephanie Smith and her attempt to earn an engagement ring by making her boyfriend Eric 300 sandwiches and blogging about it annoyed you or not, you won’t be able to help but enjoy one woman’s reaction to the project. Freelance writer Stacy Brook, responded Smith’s joke, which apparently went over our heads, with a spoof blog, Ordering 300 Sandwiches, described as her “attempt to win a man’s heart, while expending as little effort as possible.”
Already on sandwich #18 for “J,” her creations like “The Shitty Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Roll,” (“Today I ordered J a scrambled egg and cheese with bacon on a roll from the local deli. The sandwich was delivered two hours late, and without the promised bacon. Upon this discovery, I looked at J and said, ‘You better get used to disappointment. You’re 299 sandwiches away from a lifetime’s worth.’”) and “Half a Bag of Milano Cookies” (“I bought them, J ate them, and if the Italians are calling them ‘sandwiches,’ as far as I’m concerned, they count.”) are much more within my culinary and romantic comfort zone. Keep reading »
This has been a bad, bad week for Italian public relations. On the heels of Melissa Gorga’s horrifying claims in her book, Love Italian Style, that emotional abuse and marital rape = “just being Italian LOL!”, Guido Barilla, the chairman of Barilla Pasta, went on the record yesterday in an Italian newspaper with some good ol’ fashioned homophobia:
“We won’t include gays in our ads, because we like the traditional family. If gays don’t like it, they can always eat another brand of pasta. Everyone is free to do what they want, provided it doesn’t bother anyone else.”
Just FYI, Barilla, that does bother a lot of people. It bothers me enough that I will not be purchasing your brand of pasta again, and thousands of other people have had the same response: a massive boycott is currently being organized by politicians and LGBT activists in Italy and around the globe. The president of Equality Italia summed it up just perfectly: “We accept [Barilla's] invitation to not eat his pasta.” I hope De Cecco is ready for an influx of new customers who don’t appreciate anti-gay undertones in their fusilli. [Buzzfeed]
Let’s play choose your own relationship adventure. Suppose one day you make your boyfriend a turkey and Swiss sandwich on toasted wheat bread. (This would never happen in my world because I don’t cook, but I am suspending disbelief for the sake of the game.) Then imagine that after he devours your sandwich he says: “Honey, you’re 299 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!” Do you: A) Break up with him because that’s an exceptionally bizarre and kind of sexist proposition and you’re not down with trying to “earn” a ring or B) Step up to the plate and prove that you are wife material by making him 300 sandwiches and and blogging about it?
In a somewhat disturbing New York Post profile, which reads as outdated advice about how to prove you’ll make a great wifey, Page Six reporter Stephanie Smith recounts how she took on the challenge of making her boyfriend Eric (described as a “Star Wars” obsessed Alexander Skarsgård look-alike) 300 sammies in exchange for a ring. Because to him, “sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex.” You can read all about Smith’s quest to woo Sandwich Boyfriend with cold cuts on wheat in enough time “to get engaged, married and have babies before [exiting her] childbearing years” on her blog, 300Sandwiches.com. Oh, she also shares her gourmet sammie recipes. Keep reading »
When I decide it’s high time for me to procure myself some fast food French fries, the last (last!!!!!!) thing on my mind is their caloric content. No, when I decide that I done deserve some fries, I don’t care how many calories they’re gonna cost me, or where those calories are going. They are a treat, and why go sucking all the fun out of treats with things like nutrition facts and diet plans? Why, Burger King, why must you introduce “Satisfries,” with 40% less fat and 30% fewer calories than your regular fries? I mean, maybe the 70-calorie decrease makes more sense if Burger King fries are a staple of your everyday eating, but if you’re a once in a while, gotta-have-my-fries type like myself, why even bother? Especially when you consider that a small order of these new crinkle-cut fries will run you $1.89, as opposed to the $1.59 a small order of regular fries will cost you. My takeaway: for a difference of 70 calories, and a 19% markup, go for the regular fries. Just go for it. [Gothamist]
You might have heard rumors about the anal secretions of beavers (which smell and taste like vanilla beans) being used to flavor food and thought, Oh, the things people will believe! Well, the joke’s on you, sucker. You’ve probably eaten beaver anus and didn’t even know it! This week, the Swedish National Food Agency confirmed that the anal secretions beavers use to mark their territory, called castoreum, is indeed used for vanilla flavoring in things like baked goods, chewing gum and pudding. Although beaver butt juice is rarely used to flavor our food here in the United States, some products do contain castoreum. You’ll see it labeled as on the ingredient list as “natural flavoring.” Oh, that’s about as natural as it gets. Here at The Frisky, we support the use of beaver ass in baking and hope that it will soon become as trendy as chia seeds. Click through for some delish recipes featuring sweet and fragrant beaver anus. [The Atlantic]