There were a great many things that I enjoyed about working at Whole Foods, particularly in the bakery — not least of all the enthusiastic parents and excited kids, the repeat customers who considered me and my coworkers a sort of tangential social circle, and anyone who was psyched as fuck to get a free cookie (I was profligate with the free cookies). However, because the store markets itself as if it is necessarily moral and responsible to shop there, it also necessarily comes along with some very colorful personalities. I think that some of the people who shopped in the bakery, specifically, had real existential crises: They were in a store that was supposed to be “healthy,” but here they were confronted with fat- and sugar-laden cake! Their brains short-circuited and they became the following people: Keep reading »
Dominique Ansel handed over his cronut recipe on “Good Morning America,” and while Gothamist claims that 26 tablespoons of butter is a “whopping” amount for the entire recipe, I beg to differ. If you want croissants, you’re going to have to accept the fact that you’re eating more than two tablespoons of butter per croissant. What really takes the cronut over the top is the “grapeseed oil as needed” in which you fry the dough.
Also, don’t be appalled at the amount of time it takes — y’all ever made croissants? It’s always a three-day process. Beautiful things take time and attention. Croissants are beautiful things. Oh, and it is worth it. Homemade croissants are ambrosia. Keep reading »
I ask very little of the New York subway system. I want trains to come when they’re supposed to, I want them to not break down while I’m riding them, and I want to feel safe traveling from Point A to Point B. Sometimes we’re shoved up against some sweaty man’s wet armpit because we have no choice but to pack into the 6 train like sardines in a can, and other times we must endure the drunken mumblings and rants of fellow riders— this is all to be expected. Some disgusting humans even pick their noses and clip their nails on the train, which is almost forgivable knowing that those individuals will never be loved. But if there’s one thing I DESPISE, it’s stinking up the train with your food. Please, for the love of God, stop. Keep reading »
The creators of the vegan food blog Thug Kitchen are white and excuse me but I’m completely unsurprised. The Washington Post is saying that it doesn’t matter, and Roxane Gay is bringing up the important point that it speaks volumes that a lot of people heard “thug” and immediately thought “black.” And I get that, and I agree.
But personally, when I first saw the blog, I saw someone writing in a voice that was intentionally “black”-sounding and putting the word “thug” on it. And I thought, I don’t know who this person is, I can’t tell from the way they write who they are or where they come from, but I sure hope that it’s a black individual, because otherwise this is an offensive faux-patois they’re using to be funny, and by so doing, they’re saying that black vernacular is funny. Keep reading »