Over the weekend I found myself enduring a 3-hour layover in what may be the worst airport in the world. I’m not going to name names, but it’s in Chicago and rhymes with “Bidway.” I mean, it might have been bearable if it weren’t for the sweltering concourse, the long lines for every bathroom, the astonishing lack of coffee, and frequent last-minute terminal changes that sparked frantic human stampedes. As it was, I felt like I had been banished to a particularly unpleasant section of hell for a never-ending afternoon. Here are a few ways I passed the time, and a few ways I wish I would have passed the time. Feel free to use this list next time you find yourself stuck in a terrible airport for a terrible layover… Keep reading »
Tag Archives: flying
Whenever I fly, I take the same airline and I have their vanilla in-flight safety video memorized by now. Yawn. But with their song-and-dance-filled safety video, Virgin America might actually make us attention to those oxygen mask instructions! Have you ever seen more pep over buckling your seatbelt or inflating your life vest? My only complaint is that I wish flight attendants actually sang in the aisles.
Good news, fliers! The FAA announced plans to ease up on its rules regarding electronics on planes. Soon, we’ll be allowed to use portable devices for the entire flight. I imagine this is a huge relief to flight attendants who are probably sick of playing kindergarten teacher by telling grown adults to turn off their phones one by one. A-hem, Alec Baldwin. Keep reading »
Flying the friendly skies got a little too friendly, apparently. An airline pilot who flies for Delta has been accused of groping a 14-year-old girl’s butt while flying as a passenger on an October 26th flight from Detroit to Salt Lake City. Keep reading »
For most of my life I’ve been extremely afraid of flying. Up until a couple years ago, it was not uncommon for me to dig my fingernails into the thighs of the innocent passengers sitting next to me during takeoff, scream “Goodbye cruel world!” at the first sign of turbulence, or load up on so much anti-anxiety medication before my flight that I once tried to take a nap on a moving walkway at the airport. My first trip to Europe forced me to face my fears, because as scary as a 12-hour flight sounded, the idea of being too afraid to see the world was much, much scarier. I learned some coping techniques and chilled out quite a bit, but I would still categorize myself as an “extremely nervous flyer.”
Sometimes the only way to conquer a fear is to dive into it headfirst. Which is how I arrived at a tiny airport 20 miles outside of Portland, trying to hide my shaking knees as my flight instructor explained the basics of a smooth takeoff… Keep reading »
Over the past few years, I’ve traveled quite a bit and been pretty lucky when it comes to airplane seatmates. I’ve been fortunate enough to sit next to friendly, polite, interesting people who respect my personal space but will happily tell me thrilling tales about their childhood spent in a religious cult when prompted. That all changed this weekend, when, over the course of four short flights, I encountered a morning talker, an excessive ball scratcher, a sulfurous human gas machine, and a man who was smugly eating heaping bites of slimy homemade coleslaw out of a plastic bag. This is ridiculous, I thought, there should be laws against smug coleslaw crunching on airplanes! Since we managed to outlaw smoking on planes, here are some of the in-flight infractions that should be next… Keep reading »
Today I am driving my best friend to the airport. I am ridiculously excited. Not because she’s leaving — of course I’ll miss her while she’s away — but because driving people to the airport is one of my greatest joys in life, followed closely by picking people up from the airport, artisanal cheeses, and Jet Li’s filmography. Want to know why? Read on… Keep reading »
By now you’ve probably heard the story about Melissa Stetten, a model who had the misfortune of sitting next to an actor named Brian Presley on a recent flight. Despite being married and having a child, Brian spent the entire flight flirting shamelessly with his seatmate, as Melissa secretly live-tweeted the entire interaction. This cringe-worthy situation got us thinking about all the crazy/weird/awkward people we’ve been trapped next to on long flights–the former cult member, for example, or the sci-fi writer who mapped out the plot of his entire series in specific, mind-numbing detail. We’d love to hear about your worst airplane seatmates — please share your horror stories in the comments! [Gawker]
- A female pilot in Brazil tossed a passenger off her flight because he was making sexist comments about women’s ability to fly airplanes. As much as I understand her desire to kick him off, I wish she’d kept his bigoted ass on that flight and shown him how well she could fly a plane. Everyone is getting way too nuts on airplanes lately. [Feministing]
- Five things to know about the Paycheck Fairness Act, which got a renewed push this week. [Think Progress]
- Let’s check in on Navy women who serve on submarines two years after the decision to allow them. [ABC News] Keep reading »
Southwest Airlines passenger Jeanie Daniels is butthurt because she was jailed for 10 hours after arguing with a flight attendant about painting her nails onboard. While flying from California to Texas, Daniels whipped out her nail polish and began giving herself a manicure until a flight attendant came by to tell her other passengers were complaining of the smell. Daniels stopped her manicure, but 20 minutes later she went into the airplane’s bathroom to finish the job. The angry flight attendant confronted her as soon as Daniels opened the bathroom door, which prompted a heated argument.
“She was getting so loud, while I was sitting in my seat, and I was just like, ‘Will you stop!’” Daniels told TV station KTRK. “And I was loud when I said, ‘Stop bitching at me,’ because she wouldn’t end the conversation.” But Southwest Airlines had the last laugh: when the plane landed, Daniels was arrested for “abusive profane language” and thrown into jail for 10 hours. (A judge later dismissed the charge.)