florida

The Florida Judge Who Jailed A Domestic Abuse Victim Got A Slight Punishment

The judge sent her to jail for missing her trial date and berated her in court (making her the worst judge ever in my book). More »


Two Florida Alligators Were Found Feasting On A Human Body, Leading The Police To A Potential Homocide

On Tuesday, things took a terrifying turn when authorities in Southwest Ranches, a town just southwest of Fort Lauderdale, were called to a scene straight out of American Horror Story: The Bayou Edition. More »


Florida Woman Calls Gov. Rick Scott An Asshole Because He Is An Asshole

This past Tuesday, Gov. Rick Scott walked into a Starbucks to get his a very expensive, complicated coffee I presume. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for the rest of us,  Florida resident, Cara Jennings, was also at this particular Starbucks and she was not having it. Even more fortunately for us, somebody filmed the exchange… More »


Hulk Hogan Cries Tears Of Joy After Winning $115 Million In Sex Tape Suit Against Gawker

Human bleached out walrus/wrestler Hulk Hogan has won his lawsuit against Gawker media after a jury found the site guilty of unlawfully posting a two-minute video that showed Hogan and Heather Cole engaging in intercourse in July of 2007.

The jury also happened to award Hogan a whopping $55million for economic injuries and… More »


Wisconsin Cat Treks 1,500 Miles To Florida, Is Found And Brought Home To Safety

Latest news in our insane feline overlords: One of them decided to head to Florida for the winter because she just freaking felt like it. Typical asshole cat, right?

Nadia, a gorgeous Russian Blue whose human owner is Cheri Stocker, disappeared on Christmas Eve this past December 2015.

I guess Nadia… More »


Florida Republican Lawmakers Are Doing Their Best To Make Abortion A Felony

On Monday afternoon, Republican lawmakers in Florida voted to advance a terrifying piece of legislation that, among other things, will make performing an abortion or operating an abortion clinic a felony, punishable by up to 30 years in prison. More »


Woman Batters Fiancee Over Re-Gifted Engagement Ring

Shame on everyone involved. More »


Florida Woman Arrested For Drinking Wine And Eating Snacks In Walmart

It was only after she’d eaten the larger portion of a rotisserie chicken that the store’s loss prevention officer called the authorities and had her arrested. More »


Florida Jewelry Store Offers Free Shotgun With Jewelry Purchase

For their temporary promo, any customer that makes a jewelry purchase over $450 dollars is eligible to take a free shotgun home, and the customers have been loving it! More »


Genius Thieving Duo Steal $6000 In Jewelry From Art Gallery, Sign Guestbook

Megan Ohara and David Ziskoski stole $6000 in jewelry from an art gallery, then left her phone number and some penis drawings in the guest book. More »


Kill It With Fire: Ex-Cop Cleared Of Raping Woman On Hood Of Patrol Car

Yesterday, nearly one year after he was accused of raping a woman on the hood of police vehicle, a Florida jury cleared ex-cop Stephen Maiorino of all charges. His accuser, whose identity has been protected, cried out as the verdict was read and had to be escorted out of the courtroom, while Maiorino — who admits to having what… More »


Concerned Mom Mad Son’s History Book Doesn’t Show Bright Side Of Crusades

She may have gotten her Monty Python movies mixed up? More »


Florida Man Steals $540,000 Worth Of Citrus

Bradley Reiter of Winter Haven, Florida must have had a severe case of scurvy!

Or, he just wanted to get away with harvesting 4 million pounds of oranges and grapefruits from groves without paying the grove owners a penny.

The Florida Commissioner of Agriculture, Adam Putnam, said that he managed to steal… More »


Florida Approves Alcohol Serving Restaurant/Shooting Range Combo Near Busy Highway Because Florida

Daytona Beach city commissioners have just a-ok’d resident Ron Perkinson’s proposed $7 million combo shooting range and adjacent restaurant project to be opened in November. The facility will be located near Daytona International Speedway just off Interstate 95.

YEE-HAW MOTHERFUCKERS!

Perkinson wants to stress that the restaurant will be “on the… More »


Cecil Supporters Shower Walter Palmer’s Home With Pig’s Feet

It’s hard not to feel simultaneous feelings of support and annoyed wonder at this particular act of vandalism. More »


Cities That Surprise: St. Augustine, Florida

As the oldest continually occupied city in the United States (settled in 1565!), St. Augustine, Florida is full of stories to tell. It has all the benefits of a close-knit small town with the added benefits of surreal scenery, rich history and creative inspiration. St. Augustine boasts residents whose families have lived in the area… More »


What Happens If You Attempt To Vape Semen?

Today in Things Florida Bros Do For Fun, Apparently, we have a guy from the great sunshine state purporting to vape his friend’s semen — and all it took to get him to inhale was $68 measly dollars. Video evidence of this alleged vaguely homoerotic feat — I say alleged because we don’t actually have… More »


Naked Woman Stops Traffic To Masturbate In Front Of A Car

A nude Florida woman who cops say was on “heavy” drugs Sunday night allegedly stopped traffic to masturbate in front of a couple’s car, then climbed onto the hood. Amie Carter, 31, then allegedly stomped on the car and threw a cell phone at the vehicle behind it, the Orlando Sentinel reports. Read more on HuffingtonMore »


Drunk Pair Rudely Awakened in Dumpster Love Nest

It takes a good stretch of the imagination to get from a hot night at the casino to the back of a garbage truck, but a couple from America’s hotbed of strange and often illegal activity has this morning given us such a tale: As the Tampa Bay Times reports, a Progressive Waste Solutions driver was… More »


Florida Teen Poses As OB-GYN For Like, A Month, Fools Almost Everyone

Today, in things that worry me greatly: A teen in West Palm Beach, FL, has been apprehended by police after “playing doctor” inside a real, live hospital. Dressed in a white doctor’s coat and with a stethoscope around his neck, the teen wandered the halls of St. Mary’s Medical Center, playing doctor and thankfully, not… More »


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