Did you ever read the Ramona Quimby books? One of my favorite stories is when Ramona literally cannot fight the desire to squeeze an entire brand new tube of toothpaste, emptying it in long, satisfying stream into the sink. I wanted — nay, WANT — to do that so bad. The only thing I want to do more is to turn on a soft serve ice cream machine and let it just GO. Just watch that perfectly tubular icy treat just poo out of the machine everywhere. I don’t know why, but it’s a desire that burns deep inside. And like Ramona Quimby before her, this random woman at a McDonald’s lived my dream for me. But first she had a fit for some unexplained reason, stripped down to her thong and destroyed the establishment. Oh, and then she served herself a cup of that ice cream. I’m not sure what her damage is, and I’m sure she’s headed to the clink, but I’d say she’s earned that soft serve. [Dlisted]
Florida’s State Attorney is pursuing 60 years behind bars for Marissa Alexander, a Black woman who fired a “warning shot” in the direction of her estranged husband and his two kids.
In August 2010, Alexander’s husband allegedly read messages from her ex on her cell phone and got so enraged that he strangled her neck and threatened to kill her. She grabbed a gun from the garage, where she was stuck inside, and fired a “warning shot” into the air, near where his kids were standing. She did not injure or kill anyone yet she was unsuccessfully able to argue the Stand Your Ground law. An appeals court threw out the case and in November, Marissa was released on bond from her 20-year conviction. Now, State Attorney Angela Corey is seeking 60 years — three times the original sentence — as punishment. Keep reading »
They say that what you don’t know can’t hurt you, but that’s terribly misleading when it comes to drug laws. Guy Lanchester told police, “I don’t understand,” according to the Miami New Times. Read more on Huffington Post…
Cuddling is the most wonderful, life-affirming, endorphin-inducing activities humans can engage in. But let’s be clear here: it requires two consenting cuddlers. A refusal on one cuddler’s part to engage in spooning behavior does not, I repeat, DOES NOT justify coercion or aggression. Shavonna Rumph of Manatee, Florida learned this the hard way (Florida, I’ve missed you!) when her boyfriend rebuffed her cuddling advances and things turned ugly. Keep reading »
Earlier this month, 20-year-old Alisha Hessler went out clubbing with two male friends, who brought a third male friend with them. At some point in the evening, when that guy tried to reach up Hessler’s skirt, she slapped him. He, in turn, beat her so badly that she suffered a concision and a broken nose. Hessler went to the hospital and filed a police report, but before officially filing charges against her attacker, she gave him a choice. Either he would be arrested and likely face charges for beating her or he could opt to stand in the middle of a busy Tampa intersection for either hours, wearing a dunce cap and holding a sign that read “I BEAT WOMAN. HONK IF I’M A SCUMBAG.” He chose the latter. (Apparently, Hessler originally wanted to the dickbag to sign a waiver allowing her to beat him for 10 minutes, but friends talked her out of it, given that, waiver or not, beating someone senseless, even if they hit you first, is illegal.) Keep reading »
A little bit of good news on this Thanksgiving Day. Marissa Alexander, the Florida woman sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing a warning shot at her abusive husband, has been released on bond. She is now under house arrest as she awaits a new trial. Her pre-trial release comes with conditions, which include:
- Remain under the supervision of the pretrial services program at all times
- Subject to electronic monitoring through the CTC at all times
- Remain on home detention until completion of her case and will be allowed to leave her residence except for court appearances, medical emergencies and to satisfy any requirements of PSP or the CTC Keep reading »
Faith Christian Academy in Orlando, Florida, has forced 12-year-old Vanessa Van Dyke, a Black student who rocks a mane of natural hair, to either straighten her hair or cut it off — or be expelled.
The school claims her hairstyle is in violation of the school dress code, which says, “Hair must be a natural color and must not be a distraction.” It gives examples of inappropriate hair such as rat tails, mohawks and shaved designs. The “distraction” is apparently Vanessa’s complaint to grownups at the school that she was been teased over her hair. Keep reading »
Yesterday, George Zimmerman — the man who shot and killed unarmed teen Trayvon Martin — was arrested and charged with aggravated assault after his girlfriend, Samantha Scheibe, called 911 and said Zimmerman broke all of her things and pointed a shotgun in her face. Now we can actually listen to Scheibe’s 911 call and it’s disturbing to say the least. One thing that stood out to me — Scheibe says, “He knows how to play this game,” as if he’s pulled this abusive, manipulative shit before. Not shocking to the many, many people who have been screaming that this man should have been locked up a long time ago.
Side note, however: while I extend my sympathies to Scheibe and of course believe that no one deserves or should tolerate abusive behavior, WHO DECIDES TO DATE GEORGE ZIMMERMAN in the wake of the Trayvon Martin trial? I realize there are people who believe he acted in self defense, but for real though, who looks at that man and what he did and his shitty history and goes, “That dude, he’s the man for me”? The mind boggles.
Every day, there are roughly 400,000 children living in foster care. One of those children is Davion Only, a 15-year-old boy in Florida who has cycled through foster homes so many times that he has lost count how many there have been. Currently he live inside a group home with 12 other boys.
Recently, Davion did something so heartbreaking it is difficult to imagine: he stood up before 300 people inside a church and asked if any family wanted to adopt him. Keep reading »
Kaitlyn Hunt, a lesbian teen in Florida who was charged with having sexual relations with a minor after her younger girlfriend’s parents objected to their consensual relationship, has entered a plea deal which will require jail time for four months. Hunt, who dated her 14-year-old girlfriend while she was 18, will also have two years of house arrest with electronic monitoring and nine months of monitored probation.
Keep reading »