Today, in things that worry me greatly: A teen in West Palm Beach, FL, has been apprehended by police after “playing doctor” inside a real, live hospital. Dressed in a white doctor’s coat and with a stethoscope around his neck, the teen wandered the halls of St. Mary’s Medical Center, playing doctor and thankfully, not actually treating any patients. According to a statement from the hospital, “The individual never had any contact with the hospital patients and did not gain access to any patient care areas of the hospital at any time.” The teen’s mother scooped up her own Doogie Howser, relaying to authorities that he is actually mentally ill and has been off his meds, which makes this sad rather than creepy. I am thankful that the authorities apprehended the teen, and hopeful that he gets help. [Fox 13 Now]
Walking, talking, child-murdering human garbage heap George Zimmerman was arrested (again!) late last night in Lake Mary, Florida, for aggravated assault in a domestic violence case. According to Zimmerman’s attorney, he is accused of hurling a wine bottle at his girlfriend [Reminder: And I'm still single.]. The judge ordered him to surrender all of his firearms and to not have any contact with the victim or travel to Volusia County, where she lives, before releasing him on a $5000 bond.Zimmerman, of course, is the self-appointed “neighborhood watch” patrolman who shot and killed unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin in 2012, a crime for which he was acquitted in 2013. Since then, Zimmerman has been in trouble with the law multiple times, including for domestic violence and brandishing a firearm. He’s a danger to society and should have been locked up long ago. [NBC News; Orlando Sentinel]
There are still two and a half more days left in 2014, which is plenty of time to pull some sort of stunt and earn a spot on the Most Amazing Criminals of the Year list. And lookie here, Marisol Toribio of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, has come in just under the wire by shoplifting at a local Macy’s just before Christmas. But it’s not the five-finger discount itself that makes her such a noteworthy lawbreaker. No, it’s the shit smeared all over those five fingers that makes her one-of-a-kind. Keep reading »
A woman wearing a “Catholic Warrior” T-shirt was arrested in Tallahassee on Tuesday after she tried to tear apart a Satanic Display in the State Capitol.
Before attempting the vandalism, Susan Hemeryck, age 54, told two police officers that the display, depicting an angel falling into the depths of hell, was “not right” and that she would have to tear it down. They informed her that this was against the law, but she said that she “could not take it anymore” and was arrested while in the process of destroying it. Keep reading »
Having your house broken into is hardly what anyone would consider a “fairytale,” but when the burglar in question falls asleep on your couch after taking a shower, changing into your clothes and eating your food, it sounds an awful lot like one fairytale in particular. Meet Chancy Layton, 19, Florida’s (where else?) own real-life Goldilocks! Layton broke into a home in St. Augustine late last week, after being told by a friend that the house would be empty, and set about making herself comfortable.
Too comfortable Keep reading »