Tag Archives: flirting

Sexting Just Got Easier With Very NSFW ‘Flirtmojis’

Sexting Just Got Easier With Very NSFW 'Flirtmojis'

Now that they’ve finally decided to diversify emojis by adding people of different races and skin tones, genius app ‘Flirtmoji’ has also created emojis for horny people just like us!

‘Flirtmoji’ offers a variety of different emojis for the sexual texter, including relatively tame images of handcuffs, the gay pride flag, and a bed, to name a few, but along with those PG images comes a slew of very NSFW emojis, like penises, dripping vaginas, a used condom, a strap-on, ball gag and other miscellaneous things that you would not want anybody you’re not sleeping with to see. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Let’s Cockblock Julien Blanc & The Other PUA Creeps From Real Social Dynamics

The Soapbox: Let's Cockblock Julien Blanc & The Other PUA Creeps From Real Social Dynamics

Hey losers, I know you have copied my look with the carefully groomed hipster beard and the t-shirt and manufactured rips in my jeans, but you’re not me. You don’t have the balls to be me. You also don’t have what it takes to get as much pussy as I do, so I am going to take that money you earned from your shitty job and teach you how to treat women like dogs who will come begging for some cock. You will never be as good as me, but you can become part of my inner circle for only $360 a year.

You can also attend one of our five-day boot camps for only $2995. Isn’t it worth that amount of money to get fucked by women who are out of your league? Who cares if you are ugly, stupid and boring, you can get laid with our techniques, and as a bonus, we teach you how to get back at all of those whores who rejected you by luring them in. I’m just pimping my game, and I have to take a lot of flak for that from some feminist bitches, but it’s worth it.

This is the pretty much the philosophy for a circle jerk where guys are taught that lying, insulting and abusing women is the way to get inside of their vagina. I’ve just compressed pages and pages of articles, comments and videos such as “God Is On My Side: Intense Self-Amusement Tactics That Will Let You Choke Girls For Fun” by Julien Blanc into the above two paragraphs. Keep reading »

Goats In Lust: They’re Just Like Us!

Goats In Lust: They're Just Like Us!

We’d all like to think we’ve evolved way past our animal antecedents, having transcended the baser survival instincts that propelled us from the primordial ooze to this moment. These very instincts have been variously invoked by relationship experts, who will one day have us believing that we’re not that different from our mammalian brethren and the next consoling us with the alleged ocean that exists between our higher selves and our need-driven beast counterparts.

All that stuff about how men can’t be expected to be faithful because they’re programmed to spread their seed much like our ape ancestors did … I mean who the fuck knows? Seems like a pretty convenient theory that leaves out a lot of female agency.  I’m hardly an expert in matters of love, human evolution or animal psychology, but I did recently begin a new career in goat husbandry, and if my weeks inside a barn witnessing the aforementioned ruminants breed is any indication, we’re really not so far off from our quadripedular (not a word but it stays) friends. Here are some things that I found eerily familiar in simultaneously distressing and comforting ways. Being that I’m totally objective and trained in these matters, I will say authoritatively that these observations basically reaffirmed my suspicion that dudes are by and large totally addled idiots when fueled by lust, and that sex makes bitches act cray. Highly scientific stuff. I’m probably going to be awarded an honorary degree from somewhere any minute. Keep reading »

How To Flirt Without Being Predatory

How To Flirt Without Being Predatory

Dudes the world over (I feel like until people stop saying “but I’m not like that!” I have to keep amending statements like this by saying OK GUYS #NOTALLMEN, WE GET IT, MOVING ON) claim that no, they’re not harassing women, they’re just flirting! Can’t they flirt? Is flirting illegal now? Why can’t we flirt anymore? FEMINAZIS, AMIRITE?

Yes, guys, you can flirt. But you might want to consider the fact that some women feel actively threatened by what you call “flirting” constructive feedback and improve your technique so that when you’re expressing romantic or possibly sexual interest in someone, you don’t end up making them feel hounded, harassed and/or worried for their safety.

Here’s some tips for not being predatory while you’re flirting. Keep reading »

8 Signs You Fail At Flirting

bad-at-flirting

Fair warning, I don’t know how to flirt either. But I do know how to fail at it! To that end, here are eight definite signs that you don’t know how to flirt. Employ none of these, and you will be on a better path to successful flirting. Learn from those who have come (and failed) before you. Read more on Your Tango…

A Relatively Complete List Of Acceptable Catcalls

A Relatively Complete List Of Acceptable Catcalls

This morning, I was walking down the street when someone called to me from his car: “Hey, Big Butt!” This was meant to be a compliment of sorts. I don’t mind people saying that my butt is big (I mean, it’s sizeable, that’s just a statement of fact), but what bothered me is the absolute lack of rational thought that went behind this approach to getting my attention. OK!  You approve of my big butt!  You would probably like to touch my big butt. Stating the fact of my big butt as if it’s my name doesn’t exactly bring me around to your cause.

I’ve always thought that the best way to get someone to pay attention to you isn’t to just compulsively screaming out descriptions of body parts at strangers.  Yes, it’ll get their attention, but my impression is that the point is to hold attention, too. That being said, I’d like to propose a list of catcalls that would get to the heart of my motivation as a person and keep my interest in the conversation moving along. Keep reading »

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