Today is March 14th, Pi Day, and in honor of this nerdiest of holidays, we thought we’d help you infuse some math swagger into your flirting game. Because come on, what is sexier than math? Nothing. Nothing is sexier than math. Here are 10 pickup lines sure to charm your way into a hot date, or at least score you a sexy romp on your horizontal axis, if you know what we mean…
“I don’t think you’d make a very good ‘Bachelor,’” Jessie says to me, halfway through the second episode of the current season. (“The Bachelor” is appointment snuggle viewing in our marriage.) For some reason, it really bristles me.
“What, you don’t think I could show a couple dozen ladies a good time?” I remember asking. “I would be a great ‘Bachelor’! I’m a fun date! I’m a good time guy! You should know that about me by now.”
“Of course you are,” she reassures me. “I just meant I don’t think you would fall in love with the kind of girls who end up on ‘The Bachelor.’”
“Well … fine, I guess you’re right,” I admit. “Just don’t forget: good time guy. I could date the shit out of these women if I wanted to. They would know they were being romanced and they wouldn’t forget it.”
“They would like it, too.”
“Alright!” Keep reading »
I consider myself a romantic and love it when the person I’m crushing on, dating, or seriously involved with puts forth an effort to woo me. Seriously, nothing will make my panties drop faster than a guy giving me a bouquet of gorgeous peonies, my favorite flower. But that’s about as traditionally romantic as my wooing tastes go. It’s not that I’m high maintenance; it’s just that most traditional “romantic” gestures strike me as fake and over-the-top, or just plain irritate and embarrass me. Like, in all my years hate-watching “The Bachelor,” I don’t think I’ve ever thought, Oh man, I wish someone would take me on a fairytale date like this! And, in speaking to my friends, it turns out that I’m not alone. So fellas, if you’re thinking about how to woo your special lady this Valentine’s Day (or any day, really, as Valentine’s Day as a concept is about as fake romantic as they come), I suggest nixing these seven supposedly swoon-worthy gestures in favor of something more personal and creative.
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The type of men women lust after seems to change every decade or so. In the ’90s, we were drooling for the grungy, rocker dude a la Kurt Cobain. In the 2000′s, we moved on to the clean cut, metrosexual man and the ironic hipster. When it comes to separating the wheat from the chaff, the most desirable dude of the moment is undoubtedly the farmer, with his overalls, knee-high wellies, bulging biceps, flowing beard, and bounty of organic produce. Want proof? Just check out Hugh Morrison, winner of Britain’s Sexiest Farmer competition. Spoiler alert: he’s driving a motorcycle with a baby ewe on his lap. Hey, who doesn’t love a guy who feels just as comfortable cuddling a baby sheep as he does operating heavy machinery?
As our taste men changes, so must our flirting techniques. Because what works to woo a grunge rocker is not the same thing that would win the attention of a man of the soil. Below, some surefire strategies for seducing a farmer… Keep reading »
Now that any online dating experience will eventually escalate to mobile messaging (whether What’s App, iMessage, or How About We’s app), it’s not enough to have mastered the English language. We live in an emoji world now. Originally added to iOS for Japanese teenagers, the diverse set of smileys is now used by people of all ages around the world. Emojis can function as avoidance, word substitution, or whimsy. But just as you choose your words carefully, you wouldn’t want to fling the octopus symbol around with abandon. Your latest Tinder match might assume you’ve got a fetish.
In his New York Times column, Nick Bilton recounted his friend’s emoji mishap, in which the woman involved would type flirtatious messages via emoji (the flamenco dancer, a martini) and her male counterpart responded with the thumbs-up icon. While the guy thought he was responding positively, the girl assumed she was being prodded into the friend zone. Some emojis are ambiguous, and they should be used with awareness of the situation. Our brief guide: Keep reading »
“Star Trek”‘s Captain James T. Kirk was my first crush. When I was five — and clearly part of a super nerdy family — my dad used to make up stories for me before bed. I was always an Ensign or a Yeoman on the Enterprise (with a sweet beehive, natch) in the tales and Kirk was, like, the beautiful, blond, manly hero. He was such a stud — and had a serious way with women. The guy bagged a new alien slave girl in every episode! How did he do it? Check out Captain Kirk’s Guide To Women above!
I’m no longer a single traveler, but I was, OH I WAS, for most of my 20s. And not to big myself up or anything, but I did well at airports. You’re probably asking yourself, What does she mean by well? I mean at least a dozen phone numbers/email addresses, three dates, two hookups (one in-air!), one free ride home, two free tickets to a concert and one (kind of) long distance romance. I won’t regale you with the details of these airport meetings — although one guy did almost miss his flight to run back to my terminal and buy me a latte at Starbucks. That was awfully sweet and rom-com-ish of him. What I will share with you are my own tips for working some magic at the terminal. Keep reading »
Texting? It’s more than that. Sexting? Not exactly. Welcome to ‘flirtexting’ — the “sweet nothings” of the digital world.
Emoticons. Acronyms. Hashtags. In order to keep up with our evolving digital culture, we’ve invented plenty of new ways to communicate — and the language of love is no different. Texting with your significant other is one of the best ways to stay connected throughout the day — and it can also be one of the sexiest and most creative. In fact, ‘flirtexting,’ as we like to call it, is practically an art form, and anyone can be a Van Gogh. We asked digital dating and e-flirting expert Laurie Davis, author of Love At First Click, to explain what exactly flirtexting is — and how to master it. Read more on YourTango…
If you have been on this thing called The Internet for a few years, you might remember a lil’ lady by the name of Katherine Chloe Cahoon. A few years ago, she published a book called The Single Girls’ Guide To Meeting European Men. The inherent problems with that premise/milieu aside, Cahoon publicized her book with a series of absolutely ridiculous videos, wherein she offered “helpful” tips for dating while abroad. Stuff like: Travel to Octoberfest in Germany, because men like beer, and there’s beer there, and even if you don’t drink beer you can give the beers you don’t like to men you want to woo. Because BEER!
After her extensive and mortifying rise to YouTube fame (seriously, I’m in a KCC K-hole right now), we kind of lost track of dear old Katherine. But not anymore! I’m sorry that I’m a few months late in bringing this to you, but I’d like to present Katherine Chloe Cahoon’s first foray into the Classy Romantic Music Video (with High Kicks!) Genre, complete with ludicrous singing, dancing and facial expressions learned at the finest drama schools. As our friend Greg says, “It’s the world’s most elaborate Lasik commercial.” For your enjoyment. [YouTube]
Traveling to another country is always exciting. This is especially true if you go alone. You’re out there yucking it up solo, living your life and maybe even doing things that you wouldn’t do back home. You are you, but the vacation version of you. And what does the vacation version of you do? Takes a shit ton of chances! Not crazy chances, but rockin’ the boat type of stuff that will make for great stories when you get home.
So if you’re single, out in the world and maybe even in a country where there is a barrier thanks to language, how do you meet someone? Whether you’re looking for a one-night-stand, a fling or maybe something long lasting, you have to be able to get over all that “lost in translation” stuff. It can happen, because as they say, “love is the international language.” Or, to be more honest, straight-up banging actually is. Keep reading »