I always thought “settling down” was a euphemism. It meant nesting and discovering the pleasures of Saturday nights on the couch, cuddling in sweatpants. And it does mean that a little bit. But in my case, “settling down” has meant literally calming down. The parts of me that were more spontaneous and manic, quick to respond and engage and react, relaxed. I saw how my boyfriend Mark carried himself differently than I did and I thought he carried himself well. My first thoughts were always to fight and engage. But when it came to action, I didn’t feel like I needed to do that anymore. I learned to hold my tongue.