Tag Archives: fleshlight

Fleshlight Wants You To Remember A Very NSFW 9/11

I was going to stay away from the brands-tweeting-smarmy-sentiments-about-9/11 stories today. But then the people behind Fleshlight, the world’s premier manufacturer of fake vaginas for dudes to have sex with, had to go and make 9/11 about them.

Making fun of brands is a tired genre. Brands gonna brand. Brands will always find a way to make current events, even disasters, about them. Sometimes it’s irreverent and funny; other times it’s pitiful and tasteless. Sometimes it’s even worse. (Remember SpaghettiOs’ tasteless Pearl Harbor tweet?) Keep reading »

Congrats Dudes, You Can Actually F**k Your iPad Now!

Fleshlight For iPad

Welp, here we are! It is the year 2014 and dudes can officially fuck their handheld devices. Fleshlight, the makers of tubular vagina sex toys for men, has debuted LaunchPAD, a Fleshlight attachment for your iPad or tablet that allows you to thrust your dick into the very device you’re watching porn on. Isn’t technology amazing? Aren’t humans incredible? The things we will do to get off, man. I love it. (Seriously, I do. I think this is super cool.) Sorta SFW ad after the jump! [The Daily Dot] Keep reading »

When Fleshlights Are Mistaken For Mushrooms

A mushroom or a synthetic vagina?

Please note: If you find a soft, slimy object that looks like a plant with two heads with a small hole on one side and eyes, nose and lips on the other, it may be an undiscovered species of mushroom. It also make be a synthetic vagina/anus combo.  Should we tell the reporter it’s a fleshlight or just let the biologist play with it this weekend and discover it on his own? [Buzzfeed]

Fleshlight Will Make Masturbating To Your iPad Even Easier/Messier

Sex Toys For Him
John DeVore considers buying a sex toy. Read More »
Fleshlight iPad photo

As mostly heterosexual ladies, we’ve had to fear/admire Fleshlight from afar. The silicone vagina slightly horrified us, especially the ones modeled after adult film actresses. Then again, if we’re here wishing upon a star that vibrators rain from the sky, why shouldn’t men enjoy sex toys, too? It’s only fair. Now the tech blogs Geekosystem and Gizmodo report Fleshlight is developing an iPad attachment to make masturbating to porn on your tablet even easier: it attaches onto the iPad like a regular iPad case, but there’s a fake p**sy attached to the end. Messy is the first word that comes to my mind. Little birds tell me that Fleshlight needs lube to achieve that authentically vaginal feel. I don’t know about dudes, but I keep lube bottled up around my $500 toy. [Gizmodo via Geekosystem

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9 Fleshlights That Frighten Us (NSFW)

When I started writing for The Frisky, I had no idea what a Fleshlight even was, which makes sense because I don’t have a penis. I thought they were flashlights used to light the way during oral sex. Oh, the things you learn! Imagine my surprise when I discovered that a Fleshlight is actually an orifice (mouth, vulva, or anus) resembling a flashlight, which is used for male masturbatory purposes. This makes me all the more skeeved out by these My Little Pony branded flashlights, which appear to be the Internet’s idea of a joke. Kids toys and sex toys do not a tasteful mashup make. The poor ponies. They just want to have their hair combed and eat grass out in the backyard. At least, that’s what mine liked to do. How they have been denigrated by the sex toy industry. Click through to see more fleshlights that creep the crap out of us. [Buzzfeed]

WTF Stuffed Animal Of The Day

The New Mistletoe
A new app replaces mistletoe with cameltoe. Read More »

I found a picture of this, um, sex toy. It appears to be a stuffed animal fleshlight with dentures in its ass. But I’m not really sure. Can someone please tell me what this is and how it works? I would be ever so grateful. [Dlisted] Keep reading »

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