Please note: If you find a soft, slimy object that looks like a plant with two heads with a small hole on one side and eyes, nose and lips on the other, it may be an undiscovered species of mushroom. It also make be a synthetic vagina/anus combo. Should we tell the reporter it’s a fleshlight or just let the biologist play with it this weekend and discover it on his own? [Buzzfeed]
As mostly heterosexual ladies, we’ve had to fear/admire Fleshlight from afar. The silicone vagina slightly horrified us, especially the ones modeled after adult film actresses. Then again, if we’re here wishing upon a star that vibrators rain from the sky, why shouldn’t men enjoy sex toys, too? It’s only fair. Now the tech blogs Geekosystem and Gizmodo report Fleshlight is developing an iPad attachment to make masturbating to porn on your tablet even easier: it attaches onto the iPad like a regular iPad case, but there’s a fake p**sy attached to the end. Messy is the first word that comes to my mind. Little birds tell me that Fleshlight needs lube to achieve that authentically vaginal feel. I don’t know about dudes, but I keep lube bottled up around my $500 toy. [Gizmodo via Geekosystem]
When I started writing for The Frisky, I had no idea what a Fleshlight even was, which makes sense because I don’t have a penis. I thought they were flashlights used to light the way during oral sex. Oh, the things you learn! Imagine my surprise when I discovered that a Fleshlight is actually an orifice (mouth, vulva, or anus) resembling a flashlight, which is used for male masturbatory purposes. This makes me all the more skeeved out by these My Little Pony branded flashlights, which appear to be the Internet’s idea of a joke. Kids toys and sex toys do not a tasteful mashup make. The poor ponies. They just want to have their hair combed and eat grass out in the backyard. At least, that’s what mine liked to do. How they have been denigrated by the sex toy industry. Click through to see more fleshlights that creep the crap out of us. [Buzzfeed]
I found a picture of this, um, sex toy. It appears to be a stuffed animal fleshlight with dentures in its ass. But I’m not really sure. Can someone please tell me what this is and how it works? I would be ever so grateful. [Dlisted] Keep reading »
It’s amazing what a man will do when he is both horny and bored. I firmly believe all of man’s great contributions to civilization were a direct result of boredom and sexual frustration. Alexander the Great conquered the ancient world because he was bored and horny. Galileo turned his telescope to the stars because he was bored and horny. The entire Internet, the greatest communication device ever invented, was basically created by legions of bored and horny men. So that’s my excuse. The reason I almost, almost, purchased a male sex toy online is because I was bored and horny. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago, we received the worst press release ever. Fleshlight, the purveyor of fine synthetic vagina-like products for men, sent us a PR pitch about getting dad “the best gift a father could ask for.” We think they were kidding. But we still needed to scrub our brains with bleach, then spray them with Lysol and Swiffer their tiny crevices.
Gather ’round, children, and let’s recap which gifts are totally inappropriate (or just plain weird) to give dad this Father’s Day. Keep reading »
No, this is the best press release we’ve received as staffers at The Frisky. That one is now the second best. Keep reading »
Behold the Lady Gaga fleshlight, which is basically a sex flashlight for dudes to stick their junk in. She looks kind of how I’d picture her to look as a Muppet. But Muppets and sex toys don’t mix. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
First there was the Fleshlight, the “sex in a can” sex toy that has a latex vag at one end that dudes can stick their peen in and out of. Now the creators of this foul-yet-genius product — which purports to be the #1 selling sex toy for men — have come up with the Succu Dry for guys who like their fake sex in the form of toothy blow jobs. This latex orifice is molded into the shape of a sexy vampire chick’s mouth, complete with fangs — because vampires are so hot right now. [$45, Fleshlight.com] Keep reading »
