The other day I had lunch with a work colleague who told me her first boyfriend from middle school just so happens to live in her apartment building, which is just crazy. We started reminiscing about our first boyfriends. Hers sounded like a nice, normal guy who turned out well. She must have been born with good taste in men. Not me. I ran into my first boyfriend, Jaime*, two years ago when I was visiting my parents. The staggering thing was that he hasn’t changed at all since we dated in 8th grade. He is doing the exact same thing he was 20 years ago — getting stoned ’round the clock, saying “right on” a lot, and playing guitar in a band that will never go anywhere. These things were all very attractive to me when I was 13. Oh, how I’ve changed. The only thing that has changed about Jamie is the way he looks. He is heavier and his hair is longer. I don’t think he’s cut it since 1991. Good thing the grunge look is making a comeback. To think, I entertained the idea of running away with him and getting married. I must have been rendered temporarily insane by the mix tape he made me. After the jump, I asked some Frisky staffers and friends what has become of their first loves.
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Yesterday, Wendy posted the loveliest story about her first love, a little boy named Young who took the rap for a fire she caused when she was 5 years old. There’s something so sweet, innocent, curious, and hilarious about our first dabblings with the opposite sex. After the jump, Frisky staffers take a moment to remember the little fella who made them first think, “Hmm, maybe boys aren’t so icky after all.” Share your childhood crush stories in the comments! Keep reading »
Have you ever wondered why you remember your first kiss so vividly, but maybe not the fourth or fifth or twentieth? Or why, perhaps even years after breaking up, you still compare potential mates to your first love and find yourself falling for people who remind you of him or her? Maybe you even repeat the behaviors you engaged in in that relationship. Have you ever considered why your first sexual experience remains among the most prominent in your mind though you’ve had much better trysts since? Or why, years and big-life experiences later, your college experience sticks out as one of your major life-defining times? An interesting article in Psychology Today explores the notion of first experiences. “Part of why firsts affect us so powerfully,” the article explains, “is that they’re seared into our psyches with a vividness and clarity that doesn’t fade as other memories do.” This is known as the “primary effect,” and is something people experience the most in their late teens and early 20s, when they’re beginning to identify themselves through the stories of their lives. Keep reading »
When I think of my first love — a guy I was hot for all through college and finally hooked up with in my last semester of school — I feel mostly relief our affair was relatively brief (about 10 months). There were some sweet moments in our relationship (dancing to Nina Simone in my living room, brewing our first batch of plum beer together, camping under the stars), but certainly not enough to sustain a life together, like he wanted. Thankfully, I was smart enough at 22 to suggest taking things slowly when he thought we should run off to a mountaintop in Colorado and get married “right away.” In the 10 years since we broke up, I’ve dated lots, have had several serious boyfriends, and got married to a wonderful man. That old boyfriend has had little, if any, impact on my love life since I last spoke to him a decade ago. Apparently, however, moving on past my first love makes me a bit of a rarity. Keep reading »
If you want to find lasting love in your adult life, you have to avoid puppy love altogether, according to a claim in Changing Relationships, a collection of new research papers by Britain’s leading sociologists, edited by Dr. Malcolm Brynin, principal research officer at the Institute for Social and Economic Research at the University of Essex. Keep reading »