When I showed up at the bar, Doug* had not arrived yet. I had seen his picture (he was an online acquisition), so I knew roughly what to expect. I am not a superficial broad and I can usually find just about any dude attractive if he has a good personality. Based on the few emails we exchanged, I felt fairly certain that at worst Doug and I would bond as friends. His emails were funny, honest, and open. “Now that’s what I’m looking for!” I thought to myself. “A guy who can communicate!”

Pull up a seat as women across America dredge up memories about their worst dating experiences.

“The worst date I can think of was the time I was taken to Waffle House in the part of Cincinnati where you’re advised to roll up your car windows during the day, and to carry pepper spray at night. Not only was I scared, but also the food was bad and I was asked not to get a meal over $5. The night was topped off by a bad ‘80s movie about break dancing that I couldn’t watch anyways because my date’s friend had a foot-tall Mohawk, and insisted on sitting in front of the tiny television. I don’t mind cheap nights at Waffle House, Mohawks, or bad movies, but combined and on the first date, it’s just not impressive. Woo a lady first!” —Amanda King; Fairbanks, Alaska

First dates: magical moments when you realize you have a connection with someone—or the stuff nightmares are made of.

The fine art of first dates can be the beginning of a beautiful relationship or wreak havoc on the egos of even the most confident among us. 

Phil was right. Women do a lot of silly thing to impress men, most of which involve some sort of chemical substance that can be spritzed or slathered. But he was also correct that women are not alone in their misguided attempts to impress the opposite sex. Men are just as guilty—if not more so, as there’s possibly more pressure on men to impress—of doing all the wrong things to win over a date. Here are a few…

First dates are stressful, no question. Unfortunately, as the time of the big event draws nearer, so does the panic of what to wear. While the dude probably won’t decide to propose to you based on the height of your heel, we get the desire to look presentable, sexy, cute and approachable all at once, which is no easy feat. What if you come off too aggressive or too prim? What if your outfit gives off the entirely wrong impression? Keeping all of these MAGE concerns in mind, we’ve come up with a few helpful tips, after the jump.

• Rihanna could be fined for illegally inking three tattoo artists. [Starpulse]
• Michael Jackson was reportedly working on two albums at the time of his death. [Entertainment Weekly]—If Tupac can release albums after his death, so can Michael.
• Amber Rose is rocking a turquoise hair now. [Dlisted]—We wouldn’t pull this off, but it looks superb on her.

Men should pay for the first date. It is our responsibility, nay, birthright. It’s what we do instead of having to wear heels or beautifying face spackle. Women should offer to at least cover the tip, because that is polite. The next date should be her treat. Every subsequent date should be split. This is also polite. It is 2009, after all, and things change. More men are strapped for cash, more women are flushed. It is an increasingly even playing field when it comes to gender norms. Simple, right? Now we can all move along…

An internet market research company surveyed 3,000 people recently and asked them what they consider the 10 biggest first date faux pas. The answers were a bit surprising, but before you take a peek at them after the jump, think about what you consider first date faux pas. Someone who monopolizes the conversation? Won’t quit talking about past relationships? Makes racist, sexist remarks? Wants to debate every point you make? Wears cheap, overpowering cologne? Tries to maul you when he says good-night?  Yeah, none of those made the list. See what did after the jump.

You’ve got your favorite lip gloss, mints, and enough money to cover your share of dinner, but are there first-date essentials you’re forgetting to bring—or forgetting to leave at home? Learn from my mistakes and make sure these things are on your first-date checklist.

Go ahead and have sex on the first date if you want. If it feels good, do it. Ruin yourself. Get your rocks off. Surrender to chemistry, drink, irresponsibility. Indulge in the passion, throw caution to the wind, make a big sloppy mess of your love life. Your prince might not call you back if you rail him in the bathroom stall or after he slinks out of your apartment while you’re sleeping. If that happens, cry and wail!  Just know that reports of the fragility of the human heart are greatly exaggerated.

I’m going to make a general statement here that’s probably going to get me flamed. If you have any interest in something more than sexual with a guy, do not have sex with him on the first date. While I’m usually against such “dating rules,” there are some logical conclusions I’ve come to after observing men and women, hearing war stories from friends, and listening to the advice of male friends whom I respect. With obvious exceptions (yes, I’m sure you do know someone who slept with her husband of 60 years on the first date), the chance of having a long-term relationship with someone goes down, way down, if you bone on the first date.

Best first date ever? Possibly!

The unthinkable has happened. He asked you out. The only guys who renders you speechless. The guy so smart, handsome and unbelievably hot you can do little more than blush and stutter in his presence. And now you’re going out with him. Tomorrow.  Hooray?

Your friends think it’s cute that you’re in such a panic, but you can’t see any humor in the situation. Not only do you have to lose ten pounds, grow an extra cup size and somehow talk your mousey mop into looking like Jennifer Aniston’s—you have to do it all by tomorrow. Oh, and you should probably also think about regaining your powers of speech. What to wear? What to smell like? What to do?

Okay, I can’t really help you with that, but here are a few things you definitely shouldn’t do, after the jump…

iCarly‘s 15-year-old star Miranda Cosgrove told People she hasn’t gone on a real date yet. “I can go on double dates with my friends. It’s the big time to get a boyfriend, I guess.  My best friend goes on a date and calls me and tells me all the details like 20 times.” This got us thinking about our first dates…I think my mom drove me and the boy to the movies.

So, it’s Friday night and the cute guy you met at a party last weekend asked you out on a date—you really like him and really want to overcome all the first date barriers to score an ever so elusive second date. Well there are lots of precautions to take to get there, but I will help you out with the first, which is perhaps the most important. You guessed it: Wardrobe Choice! Since this is a first date, let’s consider a standard scenario: dinner at a restaurant whose ambiance falls somewhere in between local bar and 5-star hot spot, followed by a movie. The combo-date will give us a lot of leeway to examine several possibilities. Let’s look to Cameron Diaz for inspiration.

You could wear that killer dress that never fails to get heads turning. In this situation, however, a dress can potentially make you seem high-maintenance; while some guys do find high-maintenance gals appealing, it’s a slippery slope, and a risk simply not worth taking on a first date. Slipping on a smashing dress, especially when combined with pre-date excitement, can also lead you to go way overboard with the hair, makeup, accessories, etc.—in which case you will have graduated from “too high maintenance’” to “total freaking drag queen”. FYI, that is a major first-date DON’T!

You also could go the casual jeans and t-shirt route, you know, to show him that you’re one of those cool girls who isn’t obsessed with her appearance. Okay, true, he may find your laid back vibe appealing, however, if you put so little effort into this first date, it might make him too scared to stick around and see what future dates might hold. In other words, visions of unshaved legs might send him straight to the island of lost men. Let’s talk about smart options, after the jump.