Butterflies in your stomach are the best part of a first date, but sometimes those butterflies morph into Mothra-sized paranoia. Take me last night, for instance. My head was intellectually telling me I looked totally baller and what guy wouldn’t want to go out on a date with me? My nervous energy was telling me, “You are going to spill your drink in your lap. Because you are a klutz. And then will die alone and be eaten by cats.”
Sound farfetched? Last week I sprayed perfume in my eye. Yesterday, I somehow spilled waffles and whipped cream on my laptop. (Don’t ask.) These things happen to me. Last night, the running commentary in my head was Don’t be a klutz, don’t be a klutz, don’t be a klutz … and a litany of other things. Here are other silly things girls worry about on a first date…
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A few months ago I was flipping out to one of my guy friends about my love life, as I often do. (Sorry, guys.) I had gone on a second date to eat a home-cooked meal at a gentleman’s apartment and ended up spending the night. We didn’t have sex, but we did in lots of other activities that aren’t your typical second date material. Of course, come Monday morning, I started freaking out that this gentleman caller would lose interest in me because we’d done too much too soon. So I instant messaged my friend D., who is also single, and asked what he thought.
“What time did all this happen?” He IMed back.
“I don’t know,” I wrote. “I came over for dinner at eight, we ate dinner and dessert, then we talked on the couch for a long time and he gave me a footrub. After midnight?”
“Oh, that’s fine, then,” D. wrote back. “When a date goes into the wee hours of the morning, it really becomes another date. And hooking up on a third date is pretty standard.”
Oooooh, I thought to myself. That makes sense! Let’s call this “the principle of elongated dating.” Keep reading »
Awful first dates (and second dates … and third dates …) are The Frisky’s bread and butter. But every so often the goddesses smile upon us and we’re blessed with a first date to call your mom about instead of your therapist.
Not to brag or anything, but I had a kickass first date this weekend. We went to the Bronx Zoo together and he didn’t run for the hills when I tried to climb into the red panda cage and give it a hug. Then he asked if I wanted to get dinner, so we took the subway all the way downtown to my favorite Venezuelan restaurant. We got some Starbucks, sat in a park talking, and finally saw a movie together before heading our separate ways. I didn’t want it to end!
OK, now I’m just bragging. But my point is that I had the best time. And because I had a two-hour train ride home at the end of the night, I had a lot of time to think about just what it is that makes a great first date. Keep reading »
When I was seven years old, my parents took me to see “Rocky.” Inappropriate? Maybe. But I was a skinny asthmatic kid in a house full of smokers and this “underdog triumphs over adversity” story spoke to me in a way that nothing else ever had. Whenever the going got tough and things seemed impossible, I invoked the Italian Stallion to get me through.
My first date was when I was a senior in high school. Late bloomer. Keep reading »
Oh, there are just rules for everything, huh? Floss after every meal! Don’t wear white after Labor Day! If you’re going to pick your nose, do it in private! As Mischa Barton knows, rules are meant to be broken and there’s no bigger one to break, in my book, than that whole “don’t bone a dude on the first date” rule. Sure, there are plenty of decent reasons to resist doing the horizontal mambo right away, but there are just as many to justify dropping your drawers and getting it on tout de suite! Here are five. Keep reading »
Earlier this week, Telegraph newspaper ran an article in which they listed nine tips for men to secure a first date, including “learn to dance,” and “be patient.” In a real mind-twist, the article also suggested men “ignore all dating tips they find online.” Better advice would have been to ignore dumb dating tips online, not all dating tips online. Men don’t need to learn to two-step to secure a first date, but there are some helpful strategies that can actually go a long way in making that first step — asking a woman out — more successful. After the jump, eight ways a men can score a first date (no dance class required!). Keep reading »
A friend of mine has been dabbling in online dating, or, as he put it, “swimming in vag.” The availability of women combined with his usual tech guy internet habit has blown his, uh, mind, thus far. Although there are certainly enough ladies to go around, that didn’t stop this dapper dude from getting nervous and going a little overboard in his prep for a first date. The instrument of destruction: clippers.
Before picking her up, he wanted to trim the hedges. Unfortunately, he used the wrong side buzzer. Fortunately (?), he started out with his arm hair. Basically, my metro friend mowed a row down. And you know, he didn’t want to have a “fade” on his arm, so he had to do the whole dang thing, including the other appendage. On the date, he opted to ignore the (hairless) elephant in the room and didn’t mention his noticeably bald arms to his companion, making sure to keep his sleeves down all night.
But his story moved me, since I myself had a Tweezer-meets-eyebrow accident while primping for a date once. (Luckily, he was into the chola look.) My hairless buddy wanted to share this story to help the other men out there — hopefully his story will inspire you to forgo the buzzer — and these other no-nos before you go on a hot date. Whatever your getting-ready ritual is, you best heed these, because no amount of candlelight will save you! Keep reading »
Back in May 2008, I told you five simple words you should never drop on date #1 with a dude. Well, honey, since then, I’ve been on a whole lot more first dates, and I realize I barely scratched the surface with that first list. So, let’s break it down one more time, because it’s hard enough to meet someone, let alone get another date with him. When it comes to first dates, here are 25 more things you can say that won’t get you a second one! Keep reading »