In college, I was madly in love with a guy named Elijah who looked like Denzel Washington. We were both undergraduate acting majors, and I spent the whole of freshman year ogling his perfect face, and perfect bottom. All I wanted out of life was the chance to have a romantic make out session with him, and seeing as how Elijah actually asking me out on a date was as likely as the Second Coming of Christ, I knew I’d have to be the one to make a move.
Dreams do come true, you see. It’s just, they tend to take an awful lot of work.
A holiday soiree was coming up at my acting school and I thought it the perfect opportunity for a casual but flirtatious conversation between and Elijah and me. There’d be free drinks and dancing and I planned to wear this slinky, red acrylic number. I also planned for Elijah to be drunk enough to think Sara Barron sure looks good in that slinky, red acrylic number. I bought my college friend, Melanie, along with me so she could act as personal cheerleader. “Go! Go! Go!” she’d shout whenever she saw Elijah disengaged from other conversations. I procrastinated for hours, however, until her enthusiasm waned. Keep reading »
Men, how do you know you’re well-endowed? Oh, when your penis is mistaken for a weapon of mass destruction. Jonah Falcon, the man presumed to have the world’s largest penis (although Guinness World Records has not been down in his pants to confirm), aroused suspicion at the San Francisco International Airport when passing through security.
At nine inches flaccid and 13.5 inches at full mast, it’s not surprising that airport security suspected his “very noticeable” bulge might have been an explosive device. “I had my ‘stuff” strapped to the left. I wasn’t erect at the time … One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, ‘Yes.’ I said, ‘It’s my d**k.’ He gave me a pat down … They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing,” said the 41-year-old New Yorker. Falcon joked that next time he’s “just going to wear bike shorts” when traveling. Great idea, Jonah! Click on through to see more of the most amazing d**ks that have ever existed. [Mirror UK]
We don’t discriminate here at The Frisky. We celebrate the beauty of all sorts of men … tall, short, fat, thin, bald, long-haired, hoofed, or flippered. Hey, as long as he treats me well, who cares if he only has one leg, I mean fin. In honor of the Coney Island Mermaid Parade this weekend, I waded and splashed my way to the depths of the internet to find the hottest men for whom swimming is the primary form of transportation. Like this sea hunk. This is exactly what Finnick Odair of “The Hunger Games” looks like my imagination. I wouldn’t mind taking a dip with him. Click through for some more wet n’ wild merman sexiness.
Welcome to more adventures in objectum sexuality, the fetish where a person finds herself sexually attracted to an inanimate object. The latest object of desire is our very own Lady Liberty. Twenty-seven-year-old Brit, Amanda Whittaker has taken a shine to our Statue of Liberty. “She is my long-distance lover and I am blown away by how stunning she is,” Amanda says of her woman. She first fell for “Libby” (her pet name for the statue), when she saw her picture online. Since then, she’s flown across the pond to visit Libby four times, caressing her bonze body and blowing her kisses. Amanda considered marrying her, but thought it would be selfish since Libby has so many other admirers. Instead, she’s settled for a room full of replicas of her lover. Before Libby, Amanda had a passionate tryst with a drum set. “Other people might be shocked to think I can have romantic feelings for an object, but I am not the same as them.” I can’t say I understand Amanda’s complex feelings for Libby, but I don’t judge. You can’t help who you fall in love with. And you certainly can’t deny the sexiness of freedom. We wish these two life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness together. [The Sun]
Yes, I was nervous, but mostly I was excited. It was my first day as Mistress Darkness, a professional dominatrix. As a black graduate student in her 20s who had previously held down employment as a gym teacher and library assistant, I surprised myself when I answered the ad on Craigslist. I needed a flexible, part-time job to supplement my graduate assistantship stipend and the $65-$85/hr compensation sounded like easy money. I had always been intrigued by the sex industry, but the thought of being a sex worker clashed with my feminist ideals. I decided to make an exception for this dominatrix listing, which seemed different to me with its strict “no sex or nudity” policy. Keep reading »
It was the toot heard ’round the television: Nancy Grace let one rip on “Dancing With The Stars” and she’s been trying to live down the mockery ever since. It is not all public humiliation, though Nancy has attracted the attention of a little known fetish website of “flatulophiliacs,” aka “fart fanatics.” We had no idea fart fetishists existed. Jo Merlone, marketing director for the web site Clips4Sale.com, penned a letter to “Dancing With The Stars” requesting the rights for three seconds of footage of Nancy’s famed fart. “In case you weren’t aware,” Jo Merlone implored, “this is a very popular niche online and we know just how many of Nancy’s fans would love to relieve the moment in the privacy of their own homes via our web site. Passing gas is as natural as breathing and our members are waiting with baited breath.” Oh my. Don’t keep the fart fetishists waiting, ABC — that would just be cruel. [BuzzFeed]
Flatulophilia isn’t the only fetish that caught us off guard — after the jump, here’s 10 more crazy sexual practices that came as a surprise.
Khloe Kardashian experiments with fetish gear on the cover of YRB magazine. I’m scared. And she looks hungry. [Dlisted] Keep reading »
Octomom has long rebuffed offers to appear in porn — or so the tabloids claim. Now TMZ is reporting Nadya Suleman recently filmed a kinky fetish porn at her home in which she whips a man wearing a diaper until he has welts on his back. She’s reportedly wearing a black corset and black leggings and “her body is kinda smokin’,” despite popping out 14 rugrats. Wait, she filmed a fetish porn in her home? Who babysat all those kids? Allegedly the video is being shopped for sale, although it is unclear by whom. Octomom has been doggedly pursued recently by porn king Vivid Video, who tried to exploit her financial troubles and the fact her house might go into foreclosure to get her to appear on screen. Recently, Vivid offered Octomom $1 million to appear in a skin flick! If rumors of her fetish video are true, we hope she was paid well. [TMZ] Keep reading »
The next time you think you’re weird or kinky or especially twisted in bed, think of Prince Jefri Bolkiah of Brunei. He’s the younger brother of the Sultan of Brunei and apparently quite the perv. The prince allegedly had six life-size erotic sculptures of himself made, along with sexy sculptures of his fiancee, who is part of his harem. Yes, we said harem. The statues were discovered at the Prince’s Long Island estate, which is currently in litigation after two of the Prince’s advisers sold the property for much less than he believed it was worth. In the photos we’ve seen, the erotic sculptures include perfectly molded jean shorts (so, kinky and unfashionable). As you can imagine, the Prince is trying to keep images and mention of the sculptures out of the press — and out of his court case. No such luck. [NY Mag] Keep reading »