Happy National Friendship Day! Let’s make it all about Oprah for a moment, shall we? Oprah says in reference to Gayle (and I’m paraphrasing here), “Nothing’s better than a good friend,” and with the notable exception of a perfectly done French fry, I wholeheartedly agree. There’s really nothing better. If you’re living without, I recommend you fix the situation pronto.
That said, I have no intention of instructing you on how to go about that here; I’m out of practice myself, having slipped into a motley crew of lunatics my freshman year of college and having held on tightly to those lunatics for the better part of 15 years. At this stage, new friends come along only once in a long while. And all I can say in terms of how I find them, is that, well, I don’t really. They find me is how it feels: I’m at a social gathering complaining about my facial hair, when suddenly there’s some new gal beside me who’s like, “My issue has always been my hairy lower back.” So you get to talking and fast-forward five years and she’s the one you call crying about the fact that you’re crying about those Jayonce breakup rumors. So again, I’m not here to tell you how to find her; I’m here to tell you how to assess a new lady friend. How to tell if she’s The One. Or, more specifically a Keeper. Keep reading »
Taylor Swift and Lorde have been spending quite a bit of time together — shopping, frolicking barefoot on the beach, wearing matching outfits — prompting many onlookers (including us) to refer to them as BFFs. But let’s be honest: as any BFF-havin’ lady knows, wearing matching outfits is only, like, level 3 out of 300 when it comes to a true best friendship. As a female friendship blossoms, the milestones come flying in fast. Some are fun and some are gut-wrenching — the first time you make a joke that makes your friend laugh so hard she farts; the first time you get crushes on the same guy; the first time you come up with dorky nicknames for each other; the first time you get in a fight that’s not instantly fixable. Should T-Swift and Lorde to make a real go of it, here are some BFF firsts they have to look forward to. Keep reading »
Think about it. The majority of female-centric movies — films about women and/or for women — are about the loss, pursuit of and eventual attainment of romantic love. Believe me, I love a good teary chick flick or cheesy romantic comedy, but it says something that I am surprised when a movie marketed towards women is not primarily about the main female character’s relationship with a man. And I’m surprised and delighted when that movie is instead about her relationship with other women. The following gallery of films (which is by no mean’s exhaustive!) are not necessarily entirely about female friendship, but have women’s relationships with each other at the forefront of the story. Passing the Bechdel Test with flying colors are…
My friend Nina and I were having one of our typical “where oh where have the good men gone?” whine-fests when it randomly occurred to me that I knew one.
I felt as neutral about Matt as you can possibly feel about an ex-boyfriend. He had a lot in common with the wine Nina and I so often indulged in: he was delicious, addicting, and made me giddy. On the flip side, he left me with a massive headache the next day. But I couldn’t hate him for it — it was his nature. I knew we would never date again, but I still wanted Matt in my life. Totally kicking him to the curb would be like pouring a perfectly good bottle of Pinot Noir down the drain, and that’s just wasteful.
Both Nina and Matt were intrigued by the idea of being set up and quickly agreed. Watch out, Patti Stanger – here comes the Minimum Wage Matchmaker! Actually, my clientele is more of the indebted grad student variety, but that’s not as catchy. Keep reading »
When it comes to female friendships, subtlety, nuance and innuendo are everything. We’ve tried to explain this to the men in our lives but they never seem to understand. They’ll say something like, “Well, if Jane was a bitch to you at brunch last weekend, why are you going to dinner with her tonight?” You’ll sigh and then go on for 20 minutes about how you’ve known her since you were 11 and her mom died when she was in high school and that screwed her up. But she makes you laugh your ass off most of the time … when she’s not being passive aggressive as all get out. In the end, you love her and would be devastated if you never talked to her again. So you’re basically going to have to suck it up whatever put downs she might hurl your way at dinner. Keep reading »
As we covered last week, ladies’ night is essential. It’s time to check in with your girls, escape, and really get your bond on while leaving the work week behind. It’s also an evening that calls for sequins and stilettos; well, usually.
If you’re out owning the streets with your crew, you’re bound to get into some situations that can be both sticky and fun. What’s a night without a little drama? It’s a night you could have just stayed home, that’s what. So, do the night right, and don’t miss a beat. Keep reading »
If we were to take anything important from the Christmas classic “It’s A Wonderful Life” (besides the fact that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings), it’s that no man, or rather, woman, for our purposes, “is a failure who has friends.” This is completely true. Have you ever imagined your life without your friends? It’s all tea parties with stuffed animals and lengthy chats with the walls in your bedroom – none of which talk back, or tell you how amazing you look in those jeans. It’s, for lack of a better word, sad.
Whether you’re single, in a relationship, engaged or married, it’s essential to make sure you have a regular standing “ladies’ night” with the women in your life. Why? Well, because, as we just covered, you’re a failure if you don’t have friends. No! But friends do add the necessary color to our lives that we all need to flourish, grow and be deliriously happy. Keep reading »
I’m reading this book called Joe Cinque’s Consolation, which tells the true story of a real life trial of two women – Anu Singh, who injected her boyfriend Joe Cinque with heroin and watched him die, and Mandhavi Rao, Anu’s best friend who might have assisted her in the process. The story is complicated, of course, by mental illness and dependence and all kinds of other things, and you should read the book by Helen Garner if you get the chance. But what I want to talk about is Garner’s spot-on assessment of Singh and Rao’s relationship, one that she calls a “symbiotic power arrangement,” because I think we’ve all had one of these at one time or another (even if it didn’t lead to murder).
Keep reading »
If you’ve ever attended a girls’ night out or a bachelorette weekend,then you know that women tend to have distinct drinking personalities. Female drinking personas are developed early (usually in college) but lifestyle, city and financial situation can greatly influence how a woman acts when she drinks. But ultimately, if you provide a woman shots, a sexy outfit and booty bumping music, her drinking personality will resemble one of the Seven Dwarves from “Snow White.” When Disney named these lovable, little men, he must have been thinking of all the drunk ladies he knew because it’s uncanny. Get a woman sloshed enough and she’ll eventually turn into Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Dopey or Doc. Trust me, one of the Seven Dwarves is just lying dormant within you, and if she drinks too many vodka tonics … watch out. See if you recognize your inner drinking Dwarf above! [Photos: Disney]