Mention the term “squirting” and most men will admit that it’s something they’d die to witness (or be the cause of). Every now and then you’ll get a squeamish guy who would much rather have a threesome with two lesbians, or an edgier dude who’s into watching women get fucked with octopus tentacles, but for the most part, female ejaculation ranks high on the Supreme Male Fantasy List. There’s a reason why squirting porn is so popular!
But looking at the phenomenon from a female perspective, it induces more panic than anything else. Unless you’re a natural born squirter, in which case you probably spend time bragging about it on the internet (rightfully so) or running workshops where you teach the rest of our dry vaginas how to release our amrita. Right. As if it’s as easy as following a pie recipe. Whisk two dashes of vibrating g-spot stimulation, a cup relaxation and two tablespoons of love. Put in the bedroom for 20 minutes and voila! She’s climaxing like a garden hose! That’s not so much how it works. Below, some real fears we have about this whole female ejaculation thing. Maybe if we get over them, we can release the sacred fluid. Keep reading »
“Your orgasm is your problem,” my ex-husband once said to me.
I frowned at his suggestion and two days later, some books appeared on my night table: I Love Female Orgasm and The Elusive Orgasm. I resentfully cracked one open and it seemed like a lot of trite stuff about the importance of relaxation. I couldn’t be more relaxed in my marital sex life if I tried. For Godʼs sake, I was almost asleep. How bad was the sex in my marriage? Well, after my ex-husband would leave for work in the morning Iʼd bust out my Hitachi magic wand and relieve myself multiple times. When he returned from the office, heʼd often see the shoulder massager laying lifeless on the floor.
“How many times did you beat off today? Four? God youʼre a freak,” heʼd say, shaming me. Keep reading »
Last week we asked readers to vote on a post they wanted me to write. The winner was 6 Myths About Squirting. Here it is!
Female ejaculation has been called the “one of the most hotly debated questions in modern sexology” because no one has been able to crack the code about how or why it happens. We can agree that squirting is the expulsion of fluid through and around the urethra during or before an orgasm. For most women, it’s the unicorn of sexual experiences, meaning we have only dreamed of meeting it face to face. This explains why there are so many urban legends about a friend of a friend of a cousin who could do it on command every time. And you’re like, “Gee thanks, that really helps me understand this thing.” It may be a while before we have definitive answers, but in the meantime we can break down some of the existing myths about squirting. Keep reading »
I’m no sexual stunt woman. I didn’t even know female ejaculation existed until about five years ago. At the time, it seemed like nothing I needed to worry about. You’d probably have to really put in an effort to make something like that happen, I figured. I had more important things to do. But then it happened to a friend of mine quite unexpectedly, as she was doing it with a boy toy, and my interest was piqued. Keep reading »
Allow me to be bold: I love masturbating. LOVE. “Then why don’t you marry it?” you ask. And I respond: “Believe me, gal, I would if I could. I would if I could.” I figured out the business at age 17, inspired as I’d been by some static-covered soft-core I’d watched on Cinemax, which left the rather dangerous impression that all future sex-makings would involve jewel tone, crushed velvet bedspreads. The revelation – of how to masturbate, that is; not the thing about the bedspreads – proved so delightful, so addictive, that after six days of the stuff, I awoke to find my right hand – the business hand – paralyzed. I kid you not. It was frozen in a manner to suggest I was holding a modest-sized grapefruit. But I was not holding a modest-sized grapefruit. What I was doing, was rather, suffering from a case of carpal tunnel caused by excessive masturbation. Keep reading »
I think I had a g-spot orgasm. Maybe. I’m not really sure. Even as I thought I might be having one, I questioned its existence.
Somewhere along the way I got the message that this was how I should be getting off. Whether it was part of the idea that penetration is the ultimate sex act or a side effect of sex positive feminism or one of Cosmo’s unrealistic sex tips — the notion that my body should be achieving g-spot orgasm on the regular was embedded in my brain. Keep reading »