Tag Archives: featured

Dater X: A Penny For Your Thoughts

Dater X: A Penny For Your Thoughts

It’s been a few years since I’ve seen a therapist, but with the new year comes new self-discovery. Just last week, I bit my ring fingernail down to a three-centimeter stub and decided it would probably be in my best interest (and my fingernails’ best interest) to tackle some of the anxiety I’ve been having head-on. I was ready, yet again, to have my head shrunk. Keep reading »

Where Writers Get Their Money: A Brief History Of The Privileges I Have And Have Not Enjoyed Over The Course Of My Career

Where Writers Get Their Money: A Brief History Of The Privileges I Have And Have Not Enjoyed Over The Course Of My Life/Career

“Here’s my life,” writes Ann Bauer on Salon. “My husband and I get up each morning at 7 o’clock and he showers while I make coffee. By the time he’s dressed I’m already sitting at my desk writing. He kisses me goodbye then leaves for the job where he makes good money, draws excellent benefits and gets many perks, such as travel, catered lunches and full reimbursement for the gym where I attend yoga midday. His career has allowed me to work only sporadically, as a consultant, in a field I enjoy.” Bauer admits that this admission might be considered “crass,” but she’s calling for more honesty like this in her piece, entitled “‘Sponsored’ By My Husband: Why It’s A Problem That Writers Never Talk About Where Their Money Comes From.” Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: There’s A Difference Between Being Critical And Being “Too Angry” — Trust Me, I Know

Some of the feedback I get online is that I’m “too angry.” When people tell me I’m “too angry” in my writing, my immediate thought is somewhere along the lines of “HA HA HA HA HA HA YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.”

That’s because I know what “too angry” actually looks and feels like. When I was 20, I was treated with dialectical behavioral therapy for anger. I was, at the time, in the midst of an abusive relationship and had a lot of reasons to be angry — or, rather, was being intentionally provoked to anger on a regular basis. I know that now, I didn’t know it then. My ex had zeroed in on something he could poke at so that he could say that I was “acting crazy” and thereby invalidate all of my feelings, not just my very intense feelings of anger, while taking zilch responsibility for his own behavior, of course. Keep reading »

Hitched 2.0: 10 Questions To Ask Videographers

Hitched 2.0: 10 Questions To Ask Videographers

I’m obsessed with wedding videos. I absolutely love watching those three-minute “trailers” that highlight the excitement, speeches, and kickass (or awkward) dance moves that occur throughout the day, all set to some sort of intense and emotional soundtrack. But when I started my hunt for our wedding videographer, I quickly realized there’s a lot more to it than that. As my fiancé and I moved through various awkward meetings with potential videographers, we refined the list of important questions to ask—which I now share with you… Keep reading »

Let’s Stop Hating On This Woman For Finding Leggings “Lustful”

The go-to legging “controversy” has always been the “pants or not” debate, but these days, the focus seems to have shifted to the question of whether they’re some kind of symbol of sexual deviance. The most recent weigh-in comes from a woman named Veronica Partridge, who shared a post on her personal blog earlier this month about her decision not to wear them anymore to prevent the “lustful thoughts” of random dudes. She told People, “It had been something that was on my mind for quite some time. I didn’t want to possibly cause another man, especially a married man, to look at me in a way I believe he should only look at his wife.”

Keep reading »

Wanderlust: I’m Not Afraid To Travel Alone

I am traveling alone through the islands of Hawaii and I am a young woman. I am not worrying about getting raped every moment of my journey, unlike writer Tara Burton, who wrote about her fears in an article for Salon called “Dangers of Traveling While Female.” I don’t feel as if my life or body is in any imminent danger simply because I’m in new surroundings with people I may not know. After all, it has usually been in the most familiar places back home — my residential neighborhood, at school or local night clubs — where I have been stalked, street harassed or treated like an object.

While traveling, I don’t feel as if the likelihood of such dangerous encounters increase. As a matter of fact, oftentimes, I feel safer. When people hear that I am traveling alone, they seem to feel a sense of responsibility and concern for my safety and well-being. They take an immediate interest in my boldness; and all of a sudden, I become a woman worth protecting. Keep reading »

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