Tag Archives: featured

Texts With My Straight Single Dude BFF: Being The Asshole

Hands down, my absolute favorite person to talk to about dating and basically every other carnal-related topic is My Straight Single Dude BFF. As his name suggests, he is also single and straight and we often turn to each other for advice, a second opinion and to share dating/sexual war stories, mostly via text because we don’t live in the same city. (And yes, before you even ask, because I know you will ask or suggest as much, we have slept together before, eons ago, but ultimately it was just a fun, casual thing that solidified our belief that the other person is going to make someone else very happy someday.) My Straight Single Dude BFF and I like and respect each other a lot and our candid conversations give me serious insight into the way men think — not all men, but men at least “like him,” who are, to quote Dan Savage, good, giving and game, genuinely try to do the right thing, and don’t have bullshit expectations of women. And on occasion, with his permission, I’m going to post snapshots from our text messages. Starting with a little exchange we had this weekend about being a dick when you dump someone. Keep reading »

Dater X: A Penny For Your Thoughts

Dater X: A Penny For Your Thoughts

It’s been a few years since I’ve seen a therapist, but with the new year comes new self-discovery. Just last week, I bit my ring fingernail down to a three-centimeter stub and decided it would probably be in my best interest (and my fingernails’ best interest) to tackle some of the anxiety I’ve been having head-on. I was ready, yet again, to have my head shrunk. Keep reading »

Where Writers Get Their Money: A Brief History Of The Privileges I Have And Have Not Enjoyed Over The Course Of My Career

Where Writers Get Their Money: A Brief History Of The Privileges I Have And Have Not Enjoyed Over The Course Of My Life/Career

“Here’s my life,” writes Ann Bauer on Salon. “My husband and I get up each morning at 7 o’clock and he showers while I make coffee. By the time he’s dressed I’m already sitting at my desk writing. He kisses me goodbye then leaves for the job where he makes good money, draws excellent benefits and gets many perks, such as travel, catered lunches and full reimbursement for the gym where I attend yoga midday. His career has allowed me to work only sporadically, as a consultant, in a field I enjoy.” Bauer admits that this admission might be considered “crass,” but she’s calling for more honesty like this in her piece, entitled “‘Sponsored’ By My Husband: Why It’s A Problem That Writers Never Talk About Where Their Money Comes From.” Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: There’s A Difference Between Being Critical And Being “Too Angry” — Trust Me, I Know

Some of the feedback I get online is that I’m “too angry.” When people tell me I’m “too angry” in my writing, my immediate thought is somewhere along the lines of “HA HA HA HA HA HA YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.”

That’s because I know what “too angry” actually looks and feels like. When I was 20, I was treated with dialectical behavioral therapy for anger. I was, at the time, in the midst of an abusive relationship and had a lot of reasons to be angry — or, rather, was being intentionally provoked to anger on a regular basis. I know that now, I didn’t know it then. My ex had zeroed in on something he could poke at so that he could say that I was “acting crazy” and thereby invalidate all of my feelings, not just my very intense feelings of anger, while taking zilch responsibility for his own behavior, of course. Keep reading »

Hitched 2.0: 10 Questions To Ask Videographers

Hitched 2.0: 10 Questions To Ask Videographers

I’m obsessed with wedding videos. I absolutely love watching those three-minute “trailers” that highlight the excitement, speeches, and kickass (or awkward) dance moves that occur throughout the day, all set to some sort of intense and emotional soundtrack. But when I started my hunt for our wedding videographer, I quickly realized there’s a lot more to it than that. As my fiancé and I moved through various awkward meetings with potential videographers, we refined the list of important questions to ask—which I now share with you… Keep reading »

Let’s Stop Hating On This Woman For Finding Leggings “Lustful”

The go-to legging “controversy” has always been the “pants or not” debate, but these days, the focus seems to have shifted to the question of whether they’re some kind of symbol of sexual deviance. The most recent weigh-in comes from a woman named Veronica Partridge, who shared a post on her personal blog earlier this month about her decision not to wear them anymore to prevent the “lustful thoughts” of random dudes. She told People, “It had been something that was on my mind for quite some time. I didn’t want to possibly cause another man, especially a married man, to look at me in a way I believe he should only look at his wife.”

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