This piece is crossposted with permission from Role/Reboot.
My dad grew up a poor boy from a small fishing village, just minutes away from the site of Shakespeare’s “Othello.” He spent his childhood playing along the walls of the great Venetian fortress. His village dates back to antiquity, his childhood colonialism, and his youth decolonization. He fled his country to get educated and build a better life in New York City. And he did. With graduate degrees from an elite institution under his belt, he rose up the corporate ladder and married two times to American women. Despite all his economic progress, he held fast to tradition.
I grew up a middle class girl in a suburban town just minutes away from New York City. I spent my childhood playing soccer and hanging out at the mall. My town dates back to the postwar era, my childhood consumerism, and my youth social justice. I fled my country to get a more affordable education and build a global dream of equity in Montreal. And I did. With graduate degrees from elite institutions under my belt, I moved through the social justice industry living and working in Latin America, Africa, Europe, and the South Pacific. Despite all my cultural development, I fought to change my father. Keep reading »
The Wall Street Journal published an article this week about “a new model of at-home fatherhood,” spawned by the rise of stay-at-home dads and inclusiveness of fathers in the day-to-day parenting. While the WSJ wasn’t quite arguing that parenting is all duded up and bro-ed out, it did argue that stay-at-home dads have put a “distinctly masculine stamp on child rearing and home life.”
Yes, there is research to back up the claim that the relatively small amount of stay-at-home dads — who comprise only 3.6 percent of all SAH parents — do rear children differently than the larger sample of stay-at-home mothers (an elite 18 percent of male-female couples). SAHDs allow their children to take more safety risks and also plan more spontaneous trips.
But I just don’t see how those traits are being ascribed as “masculine.” Surely there are mothers who don’t hover over their child’s every move? Surely there are mothers who are spontaneous? The WSJ interviewed fathers who do things like take their kids to the park and on errands to Home Depot (where a toddler “studied different kinds of hammers”) … because moms don’t take their kids to the park and run errands, I guess? Keep reading »
Today would have been my father’s 65th birthday. He died this past Thursday, in his sleep, after a 15-year battle with drug addiction and untreated mental illness. I found out on Friday, my 33rd birthday. The last time I heard from my dad was two weeks prior to his death, in an email sent from an internet cafe in Hilo, Hawaii, the town near where he lived. The power was out at his house and had been for two months, because he couldn’t pay his bill. I hadn’t spoken to him, or written to him, or acknowledged him at all since March. Our relationship was, over the years, wonderful and difficult and horrible and bittersweet. He taught me many things and helped shape the person I am today. I’m overwhelmed with sadness, but also relieved that he won’t be in, or cause, pain anymore. Keep reading »
We’ve been hearing from real dads about teaching their daughters that they are smart and beautiful and that girls can do anything boys can do. Today we tackle the motherlode — her, fatherlode? — of parenting topics: dads imparting wisdom on love, dating, and sex.
For advice, I turned to Tony, the father of three girls under the age of nine; Adam, the father of two daughters under the age of four; Jim, the father of a nine-year-old girl; Joe (AKA Frisky commenter _JSW_), the father of two girls under the age of twelve; and Jesse, the father of three girls under eight.
Read on for their fab (and adorable) advice… Keep reading »
Yesterday, we heard from real dads about teaching their daughters that they are smart and beautiful. Today, real dads tell us how they teach their daughters that girls can do anything boys can do.
For advice, I turned to Tony, the father of three girls under the age of nine; Adam, the father of two daughters under the age of four; Jim, the father of a nine-year-old girl; Joe (AKA Frisky commenter _JSW_), the father of two girls under the age of twelve; and Jesse, the father of three girls under eight. Over the next several days, I’ll be sharing with you some of their fab (and adorable) advice.
How a dad can teach his daughter that “girls rule!” after the jump: Keep reading »
You may have noticed here at The Frisky we pull a lot of stuff out of our ass. 5 Things You Can Lie To Your Therapist About! 7 Ways To Wear Roadkill This Season! 13 Ways To Orgasm Using Pinterest! But a serious subject calls for Serious Journalism. And for some Serious Journalism this Father’s Day, I lazily emailed all the men I know who have young daughters and asked them for advice on raising healthy, happy girls as a modern-day dad.
For this first installment of Dads Raising Daughters, I turned to Tony, the father of three girls under the age of nine; Adam, the father of two daughters under the age of four; Jim, the father of a nine-year-old girl; Joe (AKA Frisky commenter _JSW_), the father of two girls under the age of twelve; and Jesse, the father of three girls under eight. Over the next several days, I’ll be sharing with you some of their fab (and adorable) advice.
First up, how to teach your girl she is smart and beautiful. Keep reading »
With Father’s Day coming up, we’ve been thinking about father figures. We learned a lot from our biological dads (both good and bad), but there were also other fatherly influences in our lives who provided us with guidance, advice, and helped us understand what it means to be a dad. After the jump, check out the men who have shaped our lives (from brothers to therapists to a certain “Star Trek” captain), and please tell us a bit about your own father figures in the comment section! Keep reading »
Oh, Desmond Hatchett, I thought what we had was special, but alas, so did 11 other women. The results of your smooth moves and shocking virility? You’ve fathered 30 children over the past 14 years, and now you’re in court requesting a break from child support payments. I guess I can’t really blame you, because even though some of your kids only receive $1.49 a month, when you’re making minimum wage, that’s gotta add up fast. But remember back in 2009, when you told an interviewer you were done having kids, and then you had nine more? What happened there? Is there a massive condom shortage in Knoxville, Tennessee? Were you trying to break the county record (which you did, by the way)? I have to admit that I’m kind of impressed. There is a good chance you’re a modern day god of fertility mingling with mortals for fun. But still, we’re breaking up. [LA Times]
Shopping for dads is weird. You can go the tie route, or the dress shirt route, or the “Billy The Singing Bass” route. (Please don’t go that route.) Can you blame your dad for saying every year, “No, no, don’t get me anything! I don’t need anymore crap”? So I stopped buying my dad “crap.” Usually I end up buying him a book because he is a big reader. However, that is getting predictable! So this year I’ve searched high and low for the perfect gifts for a smartypants dad: a guy who can take apart and reassmble any appliance in the kitchen, a history buff, and someone who listens to NPR (even though he thinks they’re a bunch of dirty hippies). My dad would love every single one of these holiday gifts — I hope yours would, too! Keep reading »
A few weeks ago, we received the worst press release ever. Fleshlight, the purveyor of fine synthetic vagina-like products for men, sent us a PR pitch about getting dad “the best gift a father could ask for.” We think they were kidding. But we still needed to scrub our brains with bleach, then spray them with Lysol and Swiffer their tiny crevices.
Gather ’round, children, and let’s recap which gifts are totally inappropriate (or just plain weird) to give dad this Father’s Day. Keep reading »