Tag Archives: farts

I Need To Know Who Took This Cake Farting Gig

Be My BF: Gassy Chef
Congratulations on farting on all of your employees, sexy! Read More »
Female Farts
Some common types of female farts. Read More »
Fart In A Jar
An open letter to the girl who sold her fart on Ebay. Read More »

Only on Craigslist would you find a help wanted ad for a woman to fart on a birthday cake for $50. It’s already awkward to show up at a birthday party when you don’t know anyone, but imagine being the cake farter. You show up at the bar, dressed in your most gas-friendly outfit and a guest is like, “Hey, how do you know John?”And you’re like, “Oh, I don’t John. I’m just here to fart on his birthday cake.” Other thoughts: what’s funny about farting on a perfectly good birthday cake? That’s not humor, that’s blasphemy. I would like to talk to the person who took this cake farting gig. Please contact me. I have many questions for you. [Craigslist via Gothamist]

Be My Boyfriend: Chef Who Farted On All Of His Employees And Posted A Craigslist Ad To Announce It

Be My BF Responds!
He responded to Ami and she responded back! Read More »
Be My BF: Heavy Metal
He gets disability for his heavy metal addiction. Read More »
Be My BF: Fart Warning
He was issued a formal warning for his farts. Read More »

Dear Farting Chef,

Food and farts! You sir, know how to make a lady swoon. Farting Chef, your Craigslist ad detailing the achievement of your three-month mission to fart on all 37 of your employees, knocked the wind out of me. I am dying to figure out who you are.

In the ad, you write, “I am a chef, I don’t know if I would call myself world famous, but I am definitely known in and around NYC. I have had several specials on foodnetwork.” Keep reading »

Your Farts Will Never Smell Again!

Female Farts
Some common types of female farts. Read More »
Fart In A Jar
An open letter to the girl who sold her fart on Ebay. Read More »

There’s breaking news like Anderson Cooper coming out or ObamaCare being upheld by the Supreme Court, and then there’s breaking news that is way less important, but equally as impactful. For example, the revelation that there is a solution for the excessively gassy individuals of this great nation. Flat-D disposable fart deodorizers are the product that people with digestive disorders have been dreaming of. There is no cure for gas, but this product is a simple solution which will allow everyone to fart with confidence. Just place the pad inside your underwear and let your gaseous emissions activate the carbon in the Flat-D pad, which absorbs and masks fart odor. For additional flatulence support at work, you can purchase Flat-D chair pad. I know some people whose lives will be changed by the Flat-D, although I’m not mentioning any names. [Laughing Squid]

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Used Farts As A Weapon

Be My BF: Tree Guy
A misogynist tree remover. Dreamy! Watch »
Be My BF: Toothpick Caper
He stole thousands of toothpicks! Read More »
Be My BF: Kitten Strip Club
Um, this guy tried to take a kitten to a strip club. Read More »

It’s not often that I’m impressed by a man’s physical abilities. But Guy Who Farted So Loud Your Neighbor Pulled A Gun On You, you, my friend, have some major fart skills, and maybe the key to my heart. One, I love a man who’s confident enough in his bodily functions to let one rip whenever he feels like it. And two, I’m impressed that you used your farts as a weapon against apartment building neighbor Daniel Collins, with whom you’ve had a longstanding feud over noise. Your loud emissions so incensed Collins that he pulled out a shotgun and threatened to shoot you dead for the offending flatulence.

No matter, Collins was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats, so it seems that you, me and your farts will be safe for now. [NY Daily News]

5 Common Types Of Female Farts

Peeing Or Squirting?
7 ways to know if you're a female ejaculator. Read More »
Pooping Etiquette
10 bathroom rules that couples should abide by. Read More »
Fart In A Jar
An open letter to the girl who sold her fart on Ebay. Read More »

Allow me to be all at once bold and competitive: I’ve got the worst gas of anyone you’ve ever met. If society was somehow different, and my … gift, let’s call it, was better valued, I would be your Queen of Farts. I would command attention, take down armies. I would redraw the lines of femininity. I would be worshiped and adored. None of this is likely to happen, though, is it? So here I am, in this world, in this society, in which (I dislike the words “gassy” and “farty”) a gastrointestinally-challenged woman has a tough row to hoe. Consider the sheer, exhausting effort that goes into covering up your scent. My plight: I’ve got an ass like a machine gun, people. And it’s on a mission to ruin my life. Keep reading »

The Most Unintentionally Hilarious Advice Question Ever (Farts Involved)

Fart Auction
An open letter to the woman who's selling her gas on eBay. Read More »
Pooping At Work
bathroom stall photo
Poop happens. We want to know if you poop at work. Read More »

Meet “So Incredibly Humiliated,” a woman whose relationship threatens to collapse on its shaky foundations thanks to the most vile and villainous transgression of them all: farting. Yes, that’s right, “So Incredibly Humiliated” wrote Slate advice columnist “Dear Prudence” because it seems she might have accidentally farted a couple of times in front of her boyfriend  – in her sleep! — and now she’s afraid he may never speak to her again. Read on… Keep reading »

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