Tag Archives: farts

Girl Talk: On Farting And Feminism

Girl Talk: On Farting And Feminism

In my new book, The Harm in Asking, one of the chapters, “The Boogie Rhythm,” is dedicated entirely to the topic of farting. To be a bit more specific, it is all about what we, as women, go through when it comes to our gas.

In the run up to the book’s release I’ve done a handful interviews and without fail, each one of these interviews has focused on this particular chapter of my book. This surprised me considering the book itself is 306 pages long. The chapter on farting is 7.

As I was writing, it did not occur to me that devoting seven pages of a 306 page book to farts would garner such such dramatic reactions. I never imagined it would be the only thing my interviewers cared to talk about. I hoped it would be funny. I knew some readers would find it un-funny. Lewd. Offensive. That I had prepared for, but I hoped that by keeping it brief, light, to the point, intentionally amusing and so on, I would seem like less of all those things.  Keep reading »

10 Possible Reactions To Your Own Farts (in GIFs)

Fart Auction
An open letter to the woman who's selling her gas on eBay. Read More »
Be My BF: Farts
This guy used farts as a weapon. Read More »
Female Farts
Some common types of female farts. Read More »
10-Possible-Reactions-To-Your-Own-Fart-(in-GIFs)

So, you farted. You’re human. It happens. The question now is how you’re going to react to the gaseous gift you just bestowed on the world. Depending on a variety of factors such as sound, smell, and present company, there are many potential responses to a toot, ranging from shock and denial to unabashed pride. Here are a few common fart reactions we know all too well… Keep reading »

Watch Olympic Figure Skater Jason Brown Fart His Way To A Bronze Medal

Olympic Flatulence
Watch Olympic Figure Skater Jason Brown Fart His Way To A Bronze Medal
Let It Out, Jason!

It’s hard to boycott the Olympics when the flatulence coverage is so riveting. Figure skater Jason Brown helped the United States win a bronze medal in Sochi, so you know what amazing feats he can accomplish with his body. But you might not have known what he can do with his butt. The geniuses over at Ghost + Cow films did us the favor of dubbing farts over Jason Brown’s performance — as well as some other athletes competing in in the 2014 Winter Olympics. Such nonsense, yet so undeniably excellent. It’s right up there with the Evgeni Plushenko/Ginuwine mashup. [College Humor]

Are Silent Farts Really More Deadly?

Are Silent Farts Really More Deadly?
Is Faint Flatulence Really More Potent? Find Out!

You know you’ve wondered. And lucky for us, there’s a video that answers that very question! Spoiler alert: Unless your audible farts are packing an excess of sulfur, your silent farts are probably stinkier. Science! [ANIMAL New York]

Be My Pet: Gibson, The French Bulldog Frightened By Its Own Farts

Be My Pet: Fluffy
This Alaskan Malamute shall be my pet. Read More »
Be My Pet: Mitik
A baby walrus with a mustache? BEEEEPPPP! Read More »
Did I Do That?
Gibson, The French Bulldog Frightened By Its Own Farts
Gibson Is Bewildered By His Own Farts

I believe this video of of Gibson, the French bulldog who appears to be bewildered by the flatulence coming out of his own ass, counts as a Mercury retrograde reward. It certainly lifts my spirits considering I’ve often felt the exact same way: deeply confused. Yes, about farts. But also about other things. I’m sure Gibson understands what I mean. I’ve often dreamed of having a pet who understood me on a deep level like that. Since my dog Mandy passed away in the late ’90, I haven’t had a dog connection like that. Gibson, be mine. I don’t care that you’re a gassy canine. We will fart together and be confused about life. [Videogum]

Women In Indonesian Province Have Been Banned From Farting

Pooping Is A Feminist Issue
One writer talks about how pooping is a feminist issue. Read More »
Indonesia Bans Skirts
Miniskirts invite rape, so Indonesia bans them. Read More »
Female Farts
Some common types of female farts. Read More »
Bike Ban
woman on bicycle
An Indonesian city bans ladies from straddling bicycles. Read More »

Update: The Wadiyan is an online satire newspaper that publishes fictional news reports with the intention of providing pure humour. And I did not know that. Never before have I been so pleased to report that this news item is a piece of satire. Let the farting resume!

According to a new law, the women in the Indonesian province of Aceh will now have to hold in their farts or face punishment, which may include 20 lashes for small farts and up to three months in prison for bigger bouts of flatulence. The mayor of the city, Sayyid Yahia, said the ban against female gas passing was necessary to save peoples’ morals and behaviors:

“Muslim women are not allowed to fart with sound, it’s against Islamic teachings … When you see woman fart loud, she appears like a man. But if she sit sideways and pass it quietly, she looks like a woman.”

The ban will not extend to “quiet” farts or gas passed in the home. “It will be the responsibility of the husband to make sure that his wife upholds Islamic values at home,” Yahia explained. Keep reading »

I Need To Know Who Took This Cake Farting Gig

Be My BF: Gassy Chef
Congratulations on farting on all of your employees, sexy! Read More »
Female Farts
Some common types of female farts. Read More »
Fart In A Jar
An open letter to the girl who sold her fart on Ebay. Read More »

Only on Craigslist would you find a help wanted ad for a woman to fart on a birthday cake for $50. It’s already awkward to show up at a birthday party when you don’t know anyone, but imagine being the cake farter. You show up at the bar, dressed in your most gas-friendly outfit and a guest is like, “Hey, how do you know John?”And you’re like, “Oh, I don’t John. I’m just here to fart on his birthday cake.” Other thoughts: what’s funny about farting on a perfectly good birthday cake? That’s not humor, that’s blasphemy. I would like to talk to the person who took this cake farting gig. Please contact me. I have many questions for you. [Craigslist via Gothamist]

Be My Boyfriend: Chef Who Farted On All Of His Employees And Posted A Craigslist Ad To Announce It

Be My BF Responds!
He responded to Ami and she responded back! Read More »
Be My BF: Heavy Metal
He gets disability for his heavy metal addiction. Read More »
Be My BF: Fart Warning
He was issued a formal warning for his farts. Read More »

Dear Farting Chef,

Food and farts! You sir, know how to make a lady swoon. Farting Chef, your Craigslist ad detailing the achievement of your three-month mission to fart on all 37 of your employees, knocked the wind out of me. I am dying to figure out who you are.

In the ad, you write, “I am a chef, I don’t know if I would call myself world famous, but I am definitely known in and around NYC. I have had several specials on foodnetwork.” Keep reading »

Your Farts Will Never Smell Again!

Female Farts
Some common types of female farts. Read More »
Fart In A Jar
An open letter to the girl who sold her fart on Ebay. Read More »

There’s breaking news like Anderson Cooper coming out or ObamaCare being upheld by the Supreme Court, and then there’s breaking news that is way less important, but equally as impactful. For example, the revelation that there is a solution for the excessively gassy individuals of this great nation. Flat-D disposable fart deodorizers are the product that people with digestive disorders have been dreaming of. There is no cure for gas, but this product is a simple solution which will allow everyone to fart with confidence. Just place the pad inside your underwear and let your gaseous emissions activate the carbon in the Flat-D pad, which absorbs and masks fart odor. For additional flatulence support at work, you can purchase Flat-D chair pad. I know some people whose lives will be changed by the Flat-D, although I’m not mentioning any names. [Laughing Squid]

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Used Farts As A Weapon

Be My BF: Tree Guy
A misogynist tree remover. Dreamy! Watch »
Be My BF: Toothpick Caper
He stole thousands of toothpicks! Read More »
Be My BF: Kitten Strip Club
Um, this guy tried to take a kitten to a strip club. Read More »

It’s not often that I’m impressed by a man’s physical abilities. But Guy Who Farted So Loud Your Neighbor Pulled A Gun On You, you, my friend, have some major fart skills, and maybe the key to my heart. One, I love a man who’s confident enough in his bodily functions to let one rip whenever he feels like it. And two, I’m impressed that you used your farts as a weapon against apartment building neighbor Daniel Collins, with whom you’ve had a longstanding feud over noise. Your loud emissions so incensed Collins that he pulled out a shotgun and threatened to shoot you dead for the offending flatulence.

No matter, Collins was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats, so it seems that you, me and your farts will be safe for now. [NY Daily News]

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