“That woman is like a flatulence factory. The pop hits that she fires out of her mouth are nothing compared to what comes out the other end of her!”
– Russell Brand reveals that his wife-to-be, Katy Perry, has gas issues on Nick Cannon’s radio show [Stuff.co.nz] Keep reading »
“I would urge people, men especially, unless they’re bisexual, to avoid the two-male threesome. You’re essentially getting less there than you would have got anyway. Half the involvement in sex and at least doubled the risk of someone farting in the room. And the constant threat of what I know as nut brush. … Nut brush is the phenomena where if you take a threesome to its natural conclusion you may very well find your testicles being impeached by another man’s testicles. That’s not my idea of a party.
— Russell Brand spells out for us what a threesome with Katy Perry would look like [Rolling Stone] Keep reading »
Haiti? So last week. The State of the Union? Meh. So last night. Us Weekly‘s idea of a breaking news story is Jessica Simpson’s rather untimely flatulence. [Us Weekly via DListed] Keep reading »
This week, I got a letter from a lady who’s full of hot air:
“Last night, I was trying to impress this guy I’ve been seeing by trying to bend like a pretzel in bed. Unfortunately, I farted while moving my leg over. It was loud, it was smelly. It was so embarrassing. There was a definite pause … and then we just kept going. It was the most awkward thing that has ever happened to me. Will he ever think I’m sexy again? It was only the fourth time we had sex.”
I was trying really hard not to mock the daylights out of Under-Ease, the anti-flatulence underwear from the peeps at Under-Tec, but I failed. You gotta admit, the name does not inspire confidence. Still, the eau de fart, or more officially referred to as malodorous flatus, is a literal bummer. If you think about it, the lot of the prolific farters is a rough one. We all make fart jokes and occasionally let out a real ripper, but it must actually bite to regularly set off stink bombs at school, at work, or on a date. In theory if you wear Under-Ease, your hot date will never know you cut the cheese. Unless of course you order a cheese plate. I myself am partial to stinky goopey french cheese which my dates have found far more disgusting than a fart or two. Keep reading »
The Frisky is full of extremely serious questions about bedroom behavior — like this one: have you ever farted in front of someone you’re boinking? We sent Lori out onto the streets to get answers from regular folk — suffice it to say, some of them would be appalled by my complete lack of shame. Keep reading »
So, I read this quote from Eva Longoria recently, who said she never farts in front of her husband, Tony Parker. “I save it for myself. You have to keep the mystery.” Oy. To be perfectly honest, I totally fart in front of my fiance, and have farted in front of him for a very long time. In fact, I recently asked him if he remembered the first time I did fart in front of him — I think it’s an important moment in a relationship, in that it shows the depth of your comfort level with the person. Like that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie finally “does a number two” at Big’s apartment. Very momentous occasion! Anyway, he did seem to remember the generalities of the occasion and, not to brag, but he also said he wasn’t revolted by me — which probably explains why I haven’t been embarrassed enough to stop. So anyway, Eva’s comment got me thinking about what guys really think about their girlfriends/wives flatulence. Obviously, accidents happen over the course of a relationship, but do many couples actually let loose on a regular basis? Thoughts from The Hipster Guy, The Music Nerd, and The Married Guy, after the jump. Keep reading »
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