Passing gas is a natural, normal and completely uncontrollable bodily function. So how is it that so many people are arrested in fart-related incidents? Think I’m talking out of my ass? Hardly! Better open a window — here are 10 times the police were called in because someone had the nerve to break wind…
Well, this stinks. Jessica Annette Cerney was minding her own business, laying on the couch at home in Myrtle Beach, when Darrell Ray McKnight — presumably a friend or acquaintance of Cerney’s who, according to the police report, “routinely” sleeps on the front porch — wandered inside and “passed gas” in Cerney’s face. Cerney bolted outside (that bad?) and McKnight followed her. The pair got into a tussle, with McKnight approaching Cerney in a “threatening manner,” and Cerney punched McKnight in the face three times. Police were called, McKnight was sent to the hospital to be treated for a swollen eye, and both he and Cerney face charges for disorderly conduct.
See, this is why you have to be mindful about where and when you fart, because you could get hurt. My grandmother — RIP Colleen Parry! — was always very cautious, and would back her butt into the corner of a room to “toot.” If only everyone was as respectful. [Death and Taxes]
In my new book, The Harm in Asking, one of the chapters, “The Boogie Rhythm,” is dedicated entirely to the topic of farting. To be a bit more specific, it is all about what we, as women, go through when it comes to our gas.
In the run up to the book’s release I’ve done a handful interviews and without fail, each one of these interviews has focused on this particular chapter of my book. This surprised me considering the book itself is 306 pages long. The chapter on farting is 7.
As I was writing, it did not occur to me that devoting seven pages of a 306 page book to farts would garner such such dramatic reactions. I never imagined it would be the only thing my interviewers cared to talk about. I hoped it would be funny. I knew some readers would find it un-funny. Lewd. Offensive. That I had prepared for, but I hoped that by keeping it brief, light, to the point, intentionally amusing and so on, I would seem like less of all those things. Keep reading »
Nashville Opera Company mezzo-soprano Amy Herbst will not be hitting high notes anytime soon. The singer claims that a botched routine episiotomy during childbirth left her unable to perform without farting and well, sometimes pooping herself. Keep reading »
You know you’ve wondered. And lucky for us, there’s a video that answers that very question! Spoiler alert: Unless your audible farts are packing an excess of sulfur, your silent farts are probably stinkier. Science! [ANIMAL New York]
If you read Dan Savage’s column or listen to his podcast, you know that pretty much any kind of fetish you could imagine exists. Armpits, nostrils, muddy shoes. You name it and someone, somewhere gets off on it. Some even find it in their loins to get sexually aroused by things most of us consider gross: snot, vomit, farts.
One man wrote to “Savage Love” the following:
My wife doesn’t understand or approve of my sexual needs. I would like her to pass gas in my face … but she refuses to let me enjoy this natural functioning of her bowels no matter how often I discuss my needs with her.
You might have read it and thought, Is this real? (Savage suggested that the man pay someone to fart on him while remaining faithful to his wife, by the way.) Even though it seems like it’s not real, YES, eproctophilia, or flatulence fetish, is very real. But should you need further proof, British psychologist Professor Mark Griffiths has published the first ever case study of an eproctophile in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour. Keep reading »