hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;
I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.
your daughter must be so proud.
please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.
oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow. bye!
– Charlie Sheen may totally be the worst, but damn if he didn’t write the best kiss-off email ever. This is the note he sent to “Back Door Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham, after she allegedly sold screenshots of the text messages they exchanged to TMZ. Not loving the “tranny-boobs” remark (let’s leave trans people out of this, okay, Carlos?), but “desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua’ and “pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life” is pure poetry. [TMZ]
America’s favorite rear-entry portal, Farrah Abraham, has pled guilty to driving while intoxicated last March and was sentenced to six months without alcohol as part of her plea deal, according to TMZ. Abraham was pulled over by police early morning on March 19 for suspicion of drunk driving. It turns out the wily state troopers were correct as Farrah blew a .147 on the breathalyzer during a field sobriety test, which is over the legal limit. Read more on Celebuzz…
It’s a sad day for perverts everywhere as the bikini worn by Farrah Abraham during her sex tape is no longer available on eBay. Citing “health and hygiene concerns,” eBay has pulled down the listing for the crystal-encrusted two piece which Abraham wears in her porn tape, as well as during some totally not stagedpaparazzi shoots prior to the tape’s release.
The bikini showed up online last week, sold by Vivid Entertainment, the porn house behind (ha) the release of Abraham’s now-infamous porno with James Deen. The bidding started at $500, but over the weekend the price had soared to a reported $14,700 because there are only three constants in life: death, taxes and perverts on the internet. Read more on Celebuzz…
So I watched “Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham’s sex tape/porno/whatever with James Deen (yes, I’m part of the problem) and I, like others, couldn’t help but notice Farrah was having difficulty getting James completely erect via oral. That is … embarrassing, to say the least. It’s one thing to be blowing the flaccid mass of a guy who’s wasted or high or whatever because that’s out of your control. But when you can’t get a dude whose job it is to get hard on command excited … it’s a bit of a problem.
If you watched Farrah’s performance and didn’t even bat an eyelash upon seeing that James was only semi-hard, this post is for you. While there are guys out there who genuinely don’t care for oral, I think it’s a pretty safe assumption that most do. Luckily, giving enjoyable head to a guy is a fairly easy-ish endeavor. (Though, ladies with sensitive gag reflexes/jaw tension, I totally feel your pain). Every guy is different, but if you’re new to doing it or want a refresher, here are some general guidelines to experiment with (no scrunchies required). Read more on College Candy…
Hello, Child Protective Services? “Teen Mom” and erstwhile porn star Farrah Abraham told a radio station that she’s saved a “baby box” for her toddler Sophia, which she plans to hand over when her daughter is “around 13 or 14, gets her period and is like ‘Oh, I kinda want a boyfriend.’” In it, she’s got all the episodes of “Teen Mom,” her book, and … the porno she filmed with James Deen. Or, as Farrah insists on calling it, her “sex tape.” Why, you might ask, would a 7th or 8th grade girl want to watch a porn film starring her mother? Farrah doesn’t have an explanation herself, but she seems to think that getting one’s period is a sign of advanced sexual maturity and not just, like, part of puberty. There’s nothing wrong with filming a porn, or being a sex worker, and also being a parent. There’s nothing wrong with being a teen parent, either. What is wrong is involving your kid in that confusing (and frankly, gross — no kid wants to know about their mom’s sex life!) realm before the kid is mature enough to mentally and emotionally process it. While I can admire Farrah’s stance as a parent that “I do not hide things,” she obviously isn’t thinking with her Responsible Parenting Cap on with this one. [Celebitchy] [Photo: Pacific Coast News]
I realize this post was not meant to be inspirational, but can someone PLEASE tell me where on earth that swimsuit is from? I kind of love it. I would look nothing like this in it but I still want one! – TheFriskyFan
The heart wants what it wants, and if you want Farrah Abraham’s bathing suit, well, I’m not going to stop you. We happen to know exactly who makes Farrah’s sparkly, probably-not-waterproof swimsuit. It’s made by Poolside Collection by Karina Copado and it’s $240. You might notice that the Poolside Collection site has cropped out Farrah’s face. I’m guessing they don’t want the association. Keep reading »