I read Eliza Jules’ essay “I Obsessively Monitor My Husband’s Lube Bottle” over at xoJane and was left with this question: Is a partner’s masturbation something we should worry about? The more I’ve thought about it, though, the more I’ve concluded that, for me, I’m at the very opposite end of the spectrum as Jules; I’d be worried if someone I was dating didn’t masturbate, all the more so if I was the cause behind them holding off in the self-love department. I also wouldn’t expect someone’s firmly entrenched patterns of masturbation and porn use, especially if I met them well into their adult life, to change just because they were with me.
I’ll even go so far as to say I would definitely not want to be the sole source of my partner’s masturbation fodder. Part of it? Sure. But imagine the pressure if every single time they jerked off, they were thinking about you. That would creep me out a bit, and while I’m not an expert, I don’t think that’s a realistic goal, especially when you’re talking about long-term relationships. Keep reading »
Spank bank: It’s the one bank where you always have credit. And no matter what you’re into–what kind of fantasies or images or stories you play to get off–your spank bank is an invaluable resource. We’ve been talking a lot about masturbation and we want to know: when you’re flicking the bean, what makes you hot and bothered? And if you’re wondering what Frisky staffers get off to, well, click on the jump…
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Do you like strictly tall, dark and handsome men, or does your taste tend to deviate just a bit from the norm? While I would never kick Gilles Marini out of bed — um, unless my husband walked in on us, I guess — I have a few turn-ons that are a little less mainstream and wasn’t at all surprised to learn I’m not alone. In a recent study of 2,500 women, it was revealed that women name “facial stubble,” a “geeky personality,” and a “hairy chest” as their top three “secret turn-ons.” Other traits included in the top ten were: “grey hair, glasses and being a passionate supporter of a sports team.” Glasses are hot, but being a sports fan? That one surprises me. Keep reading »