There was nothing wrong with her. She was not to blame. She was the apotheosis of lust, comprising every element of cisgendered sex from the grrrl-next-door to the bust-down. I wanted her. I needed her. It’s just that this time — this one time — I couldn’t orgasm. Yes, I loved sex, and yes, I loved her, but my body wasn’t cooperating. It’s just wasn’t going to happen that night. It had nothing to do with how I felt about her. She had no reason to feel inadequate.
I repeated the sentiments above to her for two hours. I did it while naked, sweaty, and lying next to her existential crisis. Young and dumb, I believed honesty was the easiest policy. I underestimated the alacrity with which my partner would adopt my malfunction as her own. To her, a man’s orgasm was a simple machine. To not successfully “operate” such a thing felt like the cruelest sleight to her femininity. Obviously, this was not the truth. Unfortunately, the truth rarely has a place with young lovers. I vowed to never repeat such an ordeal. But to keep that promise, I knew sometimes I’d have to fake it. Here’s what I did… Keep reading »
According to a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research, 28 percent of male college students admitted to faking orgasms during intercourse, oral sex and manual stimulation. The reasons guys pretended to orgasm were similar to those cited by the females — they wanted sex to be over, they wanted to please their partner, they felt pressure to perform. Blah, blah, blah. Men are sensitive and have insecurities, too. Obviously. I totally get why men would fake it from time to time. But how? What happens when a man has an orgasm is pretty specific, so I’m wondering how dudes are getting away with faking it 28 percent of the time? How do their partners not notice? Can they please do a study on that? Or can some guy who fakes it divulge his secrets by emailing me, oh, right now? [Blog Her]
According to a new study done at Temple University, about 60 percent of women have faked it at some point. An orgasm that is.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t one of them. I fake it often.
The big mystery plaguing scientists is why? Why are women pretending to get off if we’re not? Originally, researchers believed it was to stroke the male ego, but this study found that our reasons for faking have more to do with us. Most women surveyed faked it to mask a fear of intimacy, to get sex over with, or to increase their own sexual satisfaction. Keep reading »
Over at the Village Voice‘s Runnin’ Scared blog, Foster Kamer has a pretty amusing interview with a guy who’s faked his orgasms. Men fake orgasms, too? Yup. According to a recent study, 17 percent of men report having faked an orgasm. That raises all kinds of questions. Including, how the hell do they do that? So Kamer asked a guy who’s done it for a full report. The confession includes this gem: Keep reading »
Wait, men fake orgasms?! According to Elizabeth Black of AlterNet.org, they do for more than one reason, but they all stem from one place: machismo. Men supposedly want to convey that they’re in a constant state of being ready to ravish you and worry that they’ll seem unmanly if they try to get out of making whoopie with something like the old headache routine. Depending on which set of experts you talk to, the percentage of real men who have lied to their partners about hitting the big O ranges from 11 percent to 25 percent. Really?! But how do men pretend to make the money shot? It’s actually not that hard. Look, we don’t know what winds up in that condom and even if you’re not using protection, it’s not like you’re gushing spunk afterward. Apparently, guys are even trickier than we thought! Before we lady folk get all huffy and insulted, let’s hear what the gentlemen have to say about why they fake it.
Keep reading »
Sarah Katherine Lewis used to be a sex worker, but she’s also a bacon enthusiast, and, somehow, she has combined these two aspects of herself into a book called, Sex and Bacon: Why I Love Things That Are Very, Very Bad for Me. Interestingly enough, Sarah doesn’t like to combine sex and food in her own life. “The one time I ever had someone drizzle honey on me it got really sticky and really unpleasant, and then we both kind of just got up and cleaned up,” she said in an interview with the Seattle Times. “It was really completely unerotic and very anticlimactic.” Sarah seems cool because she feels that eating “fake” foods (anything low-fat, light, or diet) is the same as faking an orgasm — neither does the body good. [Seattle Times and Amazon.com] Keep reading »