Tag Archives: fake sports

26 Olympic Sports We’d Excel At

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Look, I’m a little intimidated about heading to the Olympics next week to hang out with a bunch of people who are Really Good At Sports. I’m not good at sports and typically only play them when I’ve been unassumingly tricked into them by a friend who says that it’s faster to ride bikes someplace than to drive a car. And yes, I treat my body like a decommissioned Orange Julius machine.

But that doesn’t mean that me and the rest of the mostly-sedentary Frisky staff aren’t gold medalists at other things in life. That’s why I asked everybody to tell me what they’d likely win a gold medal in. After all, if competitive race walking is an actual Olympic sport, can competitive closet organizing — in which my Virgo soul would easily get the gold — be far behind?

Tell us: What would you win a gold medal for? And if you need me, I’ll be polishing my Olympic gold medals for Eating All The Tacos and Being Able To Discern What Song Sampled What Other Song.

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